Power and Intimacy

Power and Intimacy

One of the lovely things about being a person is our ability to love and be loved, to care about someone, and let them care about us. To help, and be helped. These are nice aspects of being intimate.

In order to thrive, we need places to be intimate. We need to feel close to at least one person, one place to say the things we are kind of quiet about, things we often think of as our real selves.

Why am I intimate? What makes me feel close? How to I connect?

My public face is pretty cheery most of the time. I feel pretty cheery most of the time, but not always. Sometimes I get angry, or scared, or sad, or combinations of those things. I have a number of people I share those moments with. They tend to be my closest friends, and that intimacy serves me well in a whole buncha ways.

When I share my feelings with you, I often feel connected. If I am scared about something, telling you about my fears usually shifts them down into a less energetic state. I calm down. And because you care about me, I feel comforted.

When I tell you my histories, I often feel connected. Because I have told you something that happened to me, and given you a bit of information about how I am who I am, I feel more engaged with you. I feel like my experiences matter. This is a mark of friendship for me. I like to know about you.

When I am working with a teacher, my stories are almost irrelevant. My beliefs are way more important to address for my growth. Being able to let go of my stories, to know that they are just stories, gives me so much freedom to live my life in a way that supports me, and when I feel supported, I can support you so much better. I have resources to draw on, I have behavioral tools to pull out during interesting times. I own my power to impact my life in ways that make me grow, and it is easy, and relatively comfortable.

Having carefully handpicked my friends for their unbridled awesomeness means that I can see my own unbridled awesomeness much easier. I can assume it most of the time. I can take it as a given that my experience, my wisdom, my intimacy and joy will give me the foundation I need to take my life as it comes, and address with grace and joy whatever shows up.

Why do I choose to be positive? Why do I choose to be intimate? Why do I choose to enjoy?

Being intimate with our trustworthy friends, gauging our level of intimacy with less trustworthy people, using our judgment for when to say intimate stuff and when to be quiet helps us feel safe in the world. We know that we are strong, and competent, and capable, and have all the support we need as we need it, even if it is coming from unexpected sources.

Being intimate gives us experience trusting, and that allows us to trust both the universe more, and ourselves, that we will know what we need, and from whom we want it. Sometimes that doesn’t pan out, and we don’t feel cast adrift, but know that we will find out that we may need something other than what we thought, and we can be okay with that.

How have I changed from being closed off to opening my heart well and honestly?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2014 all rights reserved 08082014