Did you know that our community of Creative Questioners spans the globe? I’m mentioning it today because I drew the “Why do I engage?” card this morning.
We live in an extraordinary time. Maybe all times have been extraordinary in their own ways, but I sure appreciate this one.
When I was a kid, I dreamed a lot about what it would be like to live in the future. That child still lives in my mind, and over and over I sense her wonder and delight at being able to live in the future. She’s a time traveling ten year old in some strange way. But I do love that feeling.
For here we are, together, even though we are scattered all over the planet. We are able to connect so easily now with Internet, and cheap phone calling, instant contact by email. We can touch each other’s hearts in real time across thousands of miles. loving each other without visas, or long travel. We can support each other in times of strife, and rejoice with each other the rest of the time.
We have the capability to love more people now than ever in the history of the world. And, as we clear out our old emotional crap, we increase our capacity, too. Back in the days of yore, I was attached to people, but my capacity to love was so stunted. What a glorious thing it has been to experience that capacity grow.
Back then, I felt responsible for you, for your happiness and well-being, for your sense of contentment and satisfaction, for your life. I didn’t know that I couldn’t be, that I could only be responsible to you; to support you, to create a loving, nurturing, and respectful environment, to accept you as you are in this moment. to love you with an open heart and without negative emotional judgments.
And I learned that I really couldn’t make you feel anything. I couldn’t make you feel loved, or appreciated, or safe, or protected, no matter what I did. And I learned that you couldn’t make me feel any of those things, either.
Wow. All that comes from within me. All of that feeling loved and safe comes up from my core, from my perfect self. You may be able to stop others, or perhaps yourself, from hurting me, but I’m the one who decides to feel abused. I may feel abused without anything current happening at all, just leftover stuff from days of yore. Weird.
Sometimes we do awful things to each other. We, as budding grownups, need to just stop it. Vengeance is for children, not grownups, so is violence. If we see others doing we need to help them stop it.
Violence is a kick, like jumping out of an airplane, or slalom skiing, but it’s really bad for us, like heroin, or crack. And more and more of us are recognizing that, and moving away from these kinds of behaviors.
So we clean up our act, we feel better. We create a nicer space around us, where our loved ones feel safe, and so they feel comfortable to look inside, and start cleaning up their acts. Next thing you know, we feel more peaceful as a community because each of us is bringing a calm and centered self to join in.
All I can do is my part. As I learn to feel calm and centered and peaceful, I treat you differently, and that is where it begins.
How have I changed from being an out-of-control child to being a grownup?
(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 08312013