Bloomin’ Happiness
Happiness. When we are depressed, we’ve never had it. When we aren’t it, we have all sorts of ideas about how to get it.
Sometimes it seems like stuff will make us happy, or mood-altering chemicals, either prescription or recreational. Or we think that the right relationship, or car, or house, or job, or boat, or children will do the trick.
Sometimes it does.
Mostly, it doesn’t. But we feel relief, and sometimes that seems like happiness for a little while. Or we feel a little manic, and after feeling so blase, that can seem like happiness.
When we look outside for our happiness, we will find a lot of things, maybe even treasure, but soul happiness isn’t out there.
How do I live in bliss? What makes me joyful? Why am I thrilled?
There are steps we can take to make our happiness easier to get at. They are simple, if not always easy.
First off, we have to slow down and relax inside. Our outside lives may be crazy, but we don’t have to be. Being aware, noticing what we are doing and thinking, paying attention to where our bodies are, to how we feel, gives us room to breathe, room to respond rather than reacting. We are now running the show. Can’t do that when you’re going 90 miles a minute.
Why do I relax? What makes me serene? How do I feel when I am peaceful?
Second off, we have to have an idea of what we want. That’s a weird and simple thing about being a grownup. Grownups know what they want. We start out learning what we don’t want, but as we grow up, we start focusing on what we do want. Sometimes, you’ll hear this talked about as setting goals. All it means is that we have maybe three things we want to work on, let’s say wellness, savings, and a daily practice of some kind.
When we overload ourselves with goals, we will most likely fail at all of them. Keeping the list short gives us a fighting chance at improving our success rate. Goals are not the same thing as the todo list.
What makes me know what I want? How do I choose? Why do I decide?
Third off, we may have to let something go in order to achieve our inner happiness. Bad habits can get in the way big time; substance abuse, co-dependent relationships, bad jobs, dangerous living situations. We get used to them, they are familiar. Not comfortable, mind you, but familiar, and letting go of the familiar for the unknown is, um, interesting. But this is one of the reasons we have courage.
Why would I choose happiness? How could I choose to let go? What makes me step up?
Fourth off, we need to treat ourselves with gentleness and respect. When we do this, we create an environment conducive to nurturing happiness. This is a simple list; good food and water, blessing our bodies with movement, sleep, quiet time for contemplation and meditation, time with loved ones, nurturing spirit time, challenging and informing our minds.
Creating a space that nurtures our inner happiness is simple. The rewards are dazzling.
How have I changed from seeking happiness out there to creating the room inside for my happiness to blossom?
(c) 2014 Pam Guthrie all rights reserved 01282014
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