Wednesday, January 08, 2014

The Folly of No

The Folly of No

I love the concept of fixed delusions. We all have ‘em, weird ideas about how the world is that are totally normal and rational as far as we are concerned but weird as all get out to other people if we were to say them out loud.

Thing is, because they are delusions, we don’t know they are there. Ain’t that a kick in the pants!

Perhaps now is the time to root them out.

Once you learn the trick for spotting your fixed delusions, it is easy to recognize them, even if you may not believe they are wrong.

Look for your personal “no!” An example for me showed up today when I pulled the money card and read the back, “You have always easily managed all of your resources.” Whew! Clearly, I still have some fixed delusions around resources.

When we hear something about how nice life is, and we get a strong NO!, we have found a fixed delusion. The bigger our NO! the stronger the delusion.

The NO! might come as the word “no” but it can also come as a jerking backwards, or a grimace, or something else. It feels like a shove away, or a pull back from.

Sometimes we get that NO! when we are confronted on our behavior, or beliefs.

We can have them about anything from our health to our family, work relationships or tasks, romance, food, fitness, happiness, sleep. If it’s a part of our lives, we can be deluded about it.

When we encounter a fixed delusion, we may react with resistance. Resistance, now there’s a bizarre topic. The lengths we will go to resist something can be astonishing. One of my beloved teachers said that she had clients who suffered heart attacks and strokes, and even died to avoid dealing with their fixed delusions. It’s a serious thing.

So with a big topic like that, how to we get from NO! to peaceful and relaxed?

Creative Questions to the rescue! Take my “no” from this card. I can turn that statement into a Creative Question easily; “Why do I always manage my resources easily? How am I competent with all my resources? What makes me use my resources wisely?”

Sometimes, just asking the question will make the resistance lessen. If it doesn’t, I can use the words “would” or “could” to soften the question; “Why would I always manage all my resources easily?”

Turning our NO! into a yes is one of those well-worth-the-effort things. Life doesn’t flow when we are full of “no.” It’s so much easier to be aware, to trust, to relax, when we address our NO!.

How have I changed from resisting to allowing my life to flow?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2014 all rights reserved 01082014

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