Thursday, March 12, 2015

The Way of Happiness

The Way of Happiness

Are you walking the walk, or just talking the talk? Are you being aware of your choices, or mindlessly choosing, feeling a little like things are out of control, scary? Are you practicing living the life you want? Have you taken some time to think about the life you want? Do you have an idea of how you think of yourself, the labels you wear?

On Facebook, I have a couple practices I do every day. One is my appreciations, the other is my secret name of the day. Every day I make up a name for myself, and sometimes for others when they ask. It’s fun. The point of the secret name of the day is to remind myself that I am not who I think I am; I am boundless.

We get into habits, routines, ruts, patterns. We are mindless of what we are thinking about. We come to believe that our way is typical, like everyone feels as we do, or we may think that we are strange, unique, and that no one understands.

Why can I choose? What makes me aware? How am I present? How am I connected? What makes me engage?

We tell ourselves sad or bad stories about how we are. We tell ourselves things like “my life is hard. No one understands how my life is. I’m so dumb, or wrong, or bad. I am doomed to this crummy job, abusive relationship, chronic physical stuff. I believe in suffering, in misery, in drama. I believe happiness is for others, not for me.”

We lie like bad toupees.

Amazing things can happen when we start to notice the stories we tell about ourselves, and then when we allow that maybe they are just stories, not the truth. The more we can accept that we are boundless, that we are meant to be happy and healthy, full of joy and contentment, things in our lives will start to shift.

As we let go of the sad, sad tales we tell about ourselves, we loosen up our old traumas, and can experience them all the way to the end, we can let them go. As we let go of the sad, sad tales, we can start telling ourselves good stories about how we truly are.

Sometimes we need help to find our way. It might be from a therapist, or counselor. Perhaps we need help from a healer, traditional or otherwise. Perhaps we need to develop new skills, or find a new outlet for our talents. Maybe we need new friends who will support us in being our most amazing selves. Sometimes we need a new job, or a new location.

One of the stories we tell ourselves is that we can’t have help. Maybe we can’t afford it, or we can’t find it, or we can’t make the time, or we can’t imagine anyone actually helping us. We make these beliefs true by filtering for them. One of my favorite examples is that of the victim who claims that no one has ever helped them when people have been trying to help them all over the place. It is a matter of denial, ignoring facts that go against the bad beliefs we hold that keep us small.

When I decide I deserve a good life from the inside out, I start to change my stories, I change my decisions, I change my choices, I change my behavior, I change my environment.

How have I changed from choosing to struggle to choosing happiness?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2015 all rights reserved 03122015