Becoming a Thought-Master
The being positive card came up again today. Fell out of the deck as I was shuffling. It’s a wonderful reminder for me, as positive as I am, cuz I go to funk, too. I had a couple hours of “I suck” yesterday.
I will say that I enjoy the occasional crabbi-ass from time to time. Usually for about twenty minutes, and then I get bored.
“I suck” or “life sucks” is different. I don’t enjoy that, but they are old habits from the dark ages, and I don’t know if I will ever be cut of them. Meanwhile, I get to practice changing my feelings as easily as changing my mind.
Here’s how I do it. You may find all of this works for you, or some of it, or none. But I give it to you with all my love.
Why am I okay?
For me, “I suck” is a feeling I notice most in my lower belly and solar plexus. It’s often an amalgam of shame about something, sometimes guilt, often a feeling of not measuring up to an unknown standard, and also often simply feeling not good enough.
What makes me good enough?
So a quick way to shift things for me is to get that physical space moving, so to speak. I will take a few minutes to do standing forward bends, some crunches or sit-ups, and imagine the feeling getting squished out.
How do I feel when I feel fine?
If the guilt component is present, I take a look at the situation without all the feelings on it, as best I can, and then I assess. Was the thing actually less terrible than my feelings make it? Mostly, that is true. Am I doing something to change the situation? Mostly, I am. Can I forgive myself for this behavior? I am usually willing to do that.
What makes me innocent?
The shame piece is different, since that’s about who I am, rather than what I’ve done, or not done. Shame is sticky and smells bad. It’s like soul-grime. My two best shaming questions are: What’s wrong with you? and What’s the matter with you?
Those are, in case you missed it, excellent examples of horrible creative questions. Let your subconscious mind start working on those and I guarantee you will feel like crap in almost no time at all. You can try it, if you want. Like going to a scary movie.
How do I know I am pure? What makes me feel clear? How do I know I am lovable?
Taking responsibility for how I feel, knowing that the outsides are something I myself choose to riff on, makes me free. I am in charge of how I feel, and I am in charge of changing it. It’s not a fluke, it’s not contingent on you doing something different. My feelings and thoughts are the place in my life where I really do have control.
How have I changed from being a victim to my thoughts and feelings to owning that I am the boss of me?
(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 11302013