Beating "Them"

Beating “Them”

I have been doing a lot more driving than I have for a long time. This time of year, a lot of it is on freeways in the dark. I get thinky. I was thinking about being compliant, and how I feel about that.

On the one hand, I am a first kid, and that means that I uphold the rules. On the other hand, I am also a rabble rouser, and that means shaking the rule-tree a bit to see what falls out. On the third hand, my purpose is to create safe space for our personal evolution. Yeah, so I get thinky.

I like being happy. I like living my natural life when everything is easy, and enjoyable, and I feel peaceful at my core.

That being the case, I’ve gotten more discerning when it comes to choosing my “battles.” In short, I seem, from the outside, more compliant.

The rabble rouser in me gets her hackles up at the word “compliant.” As a flower child from the 70s, I have feelings about “the establishment” and “their rules.” I think it’s hilarious, but there you go. Following any status quo blindly doesn’t do much for anyone’s personal evolution. The blanket do-this-do-that shows up and I get all, “no I won’t!” regardless of who is throwing down the rules.

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So when I started thinking about what my not complying meant for me and my colleagues, I realized that I needed to more compliant, but with my purpose, not necessarily with “their” rules.

Now, I like feeling pliable. I like feeling adaptable, responsive rather than reactive. When I feel responsive rather than reactive, I feel spacious on the inside, relaxed and peaceful. Being flexible around the flow of my life keeps things easy.

Why do I choose my natural life? What makes me choose happiness? How do I know I can change?

When I can notice the situations where I clench, when I can relax that clench, I create space for choice. I can choose my behavior, I can choose my actions. Being responsive instead of reactive, and I have liberated myself from the tyranny of my own thoughts, my unsupportive beliefs. I stop being my own “They.”

This attitude of mine is why I promote our change with Creative Questions, and not so much with do-this-do-that. Creative Questions automatically work with your mind, with your understandings, your beliefs, your experience. The best therapist in the world will never be able to do that. You get instant feedback in your body when you ask Creative Questions, and you can tweak and tailor them to your exact needs in the moment.

At the same time, I always want to tell you what has worked for me, in case you need a little inspiration or motivation.

It’s why I love to draw a card from my Creative Questions deck every single day. Having that card start my day reminds me to use Creative Questions, reminds me to use the tools I’ve acquired for happy living, reminds me that bad feels are old habits and I am creative and powerful and can change my habits.

How have I changed from fighting “Them” to supporting my purpose?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 11172013