Worth Loving

Worth Loving

It ‘s a two-card day! I love that, the random blending of questions. Today’s duo are “Why am I good enough?” and “Why do I like what I do?”  Oh, yeah!

Feeling good enough, and liking what I do are both fundamental to a nice life. Amazingly, both of them are my choice.

I know, I know, I was full of those objections, too.

I’m not good enough because I am too this way or that way, I’m not good enough because I’m too much here and not enough there. I’m not good enough because of some other external thing or some behavior I have.

I can’t like what I do because it’s stupid, or gross, or boring. I can’t like what I do because it goes against my beliefs. I can’t like what I do because it’s beneath me.

Harsh words ahead, folks. Brace yourselves. “That’s just how I am.” is a load of old litter. It’s a cop out. And it’s time to cut the crap.

So I stop shrugging my shoulders and saying, “That’s just how I am.”  Crappy thoughts make crappy feelings, and crappy feelings make crappy behavior and, lo, I feel bad about me. Change the thoughts, and I change my life. I have to decide I’m worth loving. I have to choose to feel good enough.

It’s the same with what I’m doing. When I hate what I’m doing, it’s a horrible chore. When I can find a compelling reason to do it, I may not love the work, but I can get through it way more easily. Sometimes I can find ways to enjoy gross tasks, sometimes I can’t. Then, it gets back to finding what is motivation for me.

One thing I do when I can is break the big nasty task into little pieces. When I break a big job into a bunch of little jobs, I find it much easier to enjoy it. My progress may be slower, but I don’t end up feeling all pissy.

Another thing I can do is layer the task with something I like, an audiobook in the background, a movie I know well so I don’t have to look at it, sometimes, promising myself a little reward at the end can be all the motivation I need.

If I really hate what I’m doing, and little tricks don’t help, I need to find something new to do. Sometimes, I do something I hate for a bigger reason. Maybe I get great benefits, or a really nice salary that helps my family. As long as it feels worth it, it can be sufficient.

Sometimes, I end up doing stuff I don’t like doing because I feel like I’m not good enough to do the things I want to do. What a catch-22. At the same time, as I start practicing feeling good enough, that feeling will loosen up and shift out, and with almost no effort, I can find myself doing things that I enjoy, that feel worthwhile, that are satisfying to me.

Bottom line, over and over again, is that I am responsible for my own well-being. That isn’t a big horrible thing, it’s a lovely soft thing, taking care of me with loving kindness gets me all filled up so I can take care of you the same way.

How do I feel when I feel good enough? How do I feel when I like what I do?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 11242013