Easy Peasy

Easy Peasy

One of my most favorite questions EVER came up this morning, namely, Why is it so easy?

I love this question, because I am finding that it is, indeed, so easy. Just about anything I do can be just so easy.

It’s all up to me.

What makes it easy? How could it be easy? Why do I enjoy easy?

All I have to do is remember to go there.

When I choose  easy, I remember to relax, not just my body, but my thoughts as well. Relaxed is how easy feels. When I choose easy, I see more beauty, I see more kindness, I see more opportunities. I am present in my life.

When I choose easy, I am going with the flow of my life. That is effortless. I don’t have to earn it. I don’t have to work hard for it. I don’t have to do anything, just choose it. When I choose easy, I give up struggle.

Choosing easy can be weird when I have struggled to work hard and earn it my whole life. Now, let’s say we have a habit of struggle, of striving. We don’t believe that choosing easy could be that easy. We totally believe we have to do something to earn it, to work hard for it. So we have to unchoose those beliefs, and then choose easy. It helps to remember that easy is mostly a feeling, and we create our feelings with our thoughts.

Why would I choose easy? What makes me positive? How do I feel light?

Once I start to notice that I think something is hard, or difficult, or that I have to work at it, I can ask, “How could it be just so easy?” I can give up feeling clenched, or up tight, to use a very descriptive old bit of slang. I can also ask, “How do I feel when it’s just so easy,” and let the feeling wash through me.

Easy, for me, feels peaceful. It feels soft, it feels excited and curious. I have been paying attention to curious a lot lately. Curiosity is one of the flip sides of fear. When I am curious, I open up. I look for possibilities. I look for hidden treasure. Curiosity engages my best self. Curiosity is easy. Curiosity is powerful. Curiosity is a damsite better than scared.

Sometimes all I need to do is pay attention to my breath, and unclench my clenchy muscles. Sometimes all I need to do is stop for a moment, and regroup. Or count something. Sometimes all I need to do is reframe something. That means to look at what’s going on with a different point of view. Just that, the simple act of look at X from over there instead of over here can change it from hard, or dark, or icky, to a blessing, a gift, an opportunity.

Sometimes, what I need to do is find the humor in the situation, and crack wise about it. When I put on my smartypants, life is way more fun. I like to imagine what my smartypants look like. That is often just the disruption I need to lighten me up.

How have I changed from heavy and dark to feeling light and easy?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2014 all rights reserved 06292014

Relaxing to Purpose

Relaxing to Purpose

How is your life meaningful? How do you share your gifts? What makes you feel on purpose?

One of the things I love about my life is that feeling of living intentionally. I like that I have found this means of sharing my gifts with you, and that sharing with you hones in me the skills I talk about practicing. All that practice I’ve done on the little stuff makes using my skills on the big stuff pretty much automatic.

I wake up each day looking forward to writing and publishing my appreciations, and these contemplations. Seriously. It makes waking up worthwhile for me. Clicking post and send is satisfying. Knowing that I’ve done my best to tell you stuff that has helped me, helped a lot of other people, live more enjoyable lives feels wonderful. Purpose.

I like that the phrase “on purpose” has two meanings. I love the sense of being on track toward my best self-expression, and I love the sense of intentionality.

Why am I intentional? What makes me follow through? Why do I like what I do?

It took me a long time to own my purpose. I was kind of doing it all along, even if I didn’t recognize it. It’s like that for many of us. We almost can’t help doing what will give us the most satisfaction, but until we own it as ours, we might not even enjoy it. We might even feel burdened by it. I sure did. I’ve been helping us find our way since I was about four. As a kid, it seemed like way too much. People just seem to show up, tell me their secrets and ask for advice. It was one thing when it was my peers, it was very different when it was adults. Still,  I always did my best in that role, even when it was scary.

Being on purpose is what makes our life meaningful to us. Flowers are pretty and smell nice to draw the attention of pollinators so they can make more flowers. But not everyone wants to be a flower. We each come to our purpose through our particular gifts. It is effortless, just what we do. We may resist owning it, like I did, but it is much harder for us to resist doing it.

I remember considering my purpose, wondering what it was, and discounting what I did as not important enough some how. I had to relax a lot in order to accept that the easy, inconsequential thing I did was my purpose. Oh, what a wonderful difference that made in my life; both the learning to relax about stuff, and the owning of my purpose.

Why do I matter? How do I make a difference? Why can I relax?

If you are on purpose, you already know. If you are looking for your purpose, look to your past at the thing you just can’t help doing, and try that on. If it doesn’t feel important enough, or feels scary, try relaxing and see what happens.

Each of us has a unique purpose, special to us. Owning that purpose, working in it, can bring us joy and satisfaction, a sense of accomplishment, and contentment. For some of us, it may be a people thing, for others of us, it may be a building or designing thing, art, music, family. There is one for you.

How have I changed from drifting to living on purpose?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2014 all rights reserved 06262014

Opening to my Life

Opening to my Life

Take a moment and notice what’s around you. Notice any sounds, any smells, notice the space you occupy. Notice sensations on your skin, points of contact or pressure, clenchy muscles, breath, your insides. Notice your feelings, your emotions, your thoughts.

Oh, awareness.

I go on and on about a lot of stuff, and awareness is one of those things. Being aware brings a quality to our lives that shines. With awareness comes clarity, and we make better choices. With awareness, we slow down a bit and remember stuff like that habit we want to change, or that we we decided not to make plans on Friday.

Why am I aware? How am I mindful? What makes me present?

As I have told you many times, I was a sad case in days of yore. I lived in my head, and there were big consequences. I didn’t know how I felt, beyond bad. I was in a lot of discomfort all the time, my poor body screaming at me to take care of it, and I paid no attention unless it flattened me. I tripped, bumped, stumbled, ran into things, snagged myself, cut me and burned me on all sorts of things, and generally felt like a klutz.

I’m not anymore.

It took practice. You can call it action, if you want, or choosing, or doing. I put a rubberband on my wrist, and every time I noticed it, I would notice my feet, and if I were sitting, my bottom, and then my breath. I practiced every single day, except when I didn’t. But I practiced a lot. When I was going to cut bread or something like that, I got present, and paid attention to the task.

When I choose to be aware, things take less time because I am paying attention to the thing, not meandering around in my noggin. So then I have time to stop and think about stuff safely.

When I choose to be aware, I enjoy my moments more. I can notice the nice stuff going on around me. I am able to recognize blessings, and gifts, and opportunities way more easily, and can choose to enjoy them.

When I choose to be aware, I can consider my decisions. It’s easier for me to remember what I’m doing, what my goals are, where my path is, and to make choices that honor those directions.

When I choose to be aware, I remember to relax. I remember to soften my clenched muscles, soften my clenched thoughts, soften my clenched feelings. When I choose to relax, I can let go of all sorts of things that used to clog up my insides.

Why do I live my natural life?

When I choose to be aware, I choose my natural life. I choose to find bliss, I choose peace. I choose to be well, to focus on how I feel good, on how I know this is right for me. I learn to read my non-verbal communications with myself. I choose to live my life, rather than letting my life live me.

How have I changed from feeling unconscious to being aware?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2014 all rights reserved 06142014

Spooky Smart

Spooky Smart

Universal, infinite wisdom. Divine, infinite being. Natural life of bliss and satisfaction. Sentence fragments, sure, but so much content.

Over and over again I am confronted with a very simple concept. When I am clenched , stuff is more challenging, and when I relax, things are easier.

One place I find this to be true is with solving stuff, figuring things out, remembering stuff, being smart in general. I find it much easier to do that when I let my mind relax. I know I’ve kind of been going on about relaxing, but, dang.

In my qigong practice there are three rules: Don’t worry. Don’t intellectualize. Relax.

There are three more rules: Relax. Relax. Relax.

When I remember to relax, I remember that I do what I can, and let go of the rest. When I remember to relax, I can let stuff flow, my thoughts, my emotions, my responses to life. When I relax, time stops racing past me. Days slow down to a nice day-length, weeks are a nice week-length and a year takes a whole year, like it did when I was a kid. I really love that.

When I relax, the wisdom of the universe can flow through me.

How do I know I am brilliant? Why am I so wise? How am I clever?

I have met several people in my life who are spooky school-smart. They remember stuff from college like nobody’s business. They have IQs in the 170s. Or something. I have also met people who have music smarts that blow me away, or visual art smarts, or people smarts, or cooking smarts, or physical being smarts.

Point is, we are all brilliant. I have to work at math, but I can read your face and body stuff pretty well.

How are you brilliant? Where does your brilliance shine? What do you excel at?

As we own our skills, and talents, and gifts, our self-esteem grows, we feel good about who we are, what we can do. Because we are connecting with our core self, our natural self, we feel less attachment to our ego-self, that part of us that wants everything to stay exactly the way it is. We feel excited for change, excited by the flow of our lives, we love to be surprised by what’s next, and we feel competent, strong, and capable of handling whatever comes our way.

Like you, I am a work in progress when it comes to this stuff. Like you, I have stuff come up on the outside, and come up on the inside. Like you, I plug away at it, doing what I can to remember what helps me keep moving forward. I try to remember to be kind, to have compassion, to stay peaceful. I don’t always succeed, sometimes I really screw up. I get angry, and ashamed, and fearful. I worry.

But I am much better, as my life lately has been pointing out to me, thank you, Life.

How have I changed from feeling stupid to owning my brilliance?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2014 all rights reserved 04022014

What did you like in today's contemplation? Did you get it about how smart you are? If you like what you find here, please + or share. Thanks. How do you know you are brilliant?

New Realities

New Realities

I drew the winner card this morning. I was thinking about the strong reactions that word gets when this card comes up. That started me thinking about our ideas of success, and that led me to the whole idea of activism.

An activist activates against something they don’t like. Do you see where this is going? In order to be an activist you have to be up against some kind of enemy.

Resisting. Fighting. On the side of right.

And, Houston, we have a problem. Because now we have taken sides. Now we have some bad thing over there, and in order to maintain our activist, resistance, fighting position, we have to maintain it, that bad thing.

Let’s say I like my position of good guy in the family, for instance. In order to stay the good guy, I have to have a bad guy. I like being the peace-keeper at work, that means I need to have unrest to make peaceful. I like to lead protest groups, we have to have stuff to protest. In order for me to fight injustice, I need to have injustice.

Are you feeling a little uncomfortable? I am.

Why can I see myself clearly? How to I choose my thoughts? What makes me relax?

So, on the one hand, I want to live in a peaceful, passionate, engaged world. On the other hand, by taking sides, and resisting, unconsciously, I have clenched up against stuff.

Consider the differences between “Wipe Out World Hunger” and “Plenty of Food for All.” “Fight Breast Cancer” and “Breast Wellness Everywhere.”

In my own life, I need to look at the roles I identify with. Do I have roles I play that require me to be against stuff? For example, if I see myself as a great advisor, I need you to have problems I can tell you how to fix. Oy. If I see myself as a protector of children, I need someone to be a threat to them. Oy. If I keep my home as a sanctuary, I need my outer world to be, uh, interesting. If I’m going to be a hero, I need you to have stuff I can rescue you from. Sorry.

So, unconsciously, I am facilitating this stuff in order that I can maintain these ideas about me. Talk about mislearnings. Wow.

A lot of it is semantics, like we saw in the slogans above. And consider the differences between “Why am I a peacemaker?” and “Why do I enjoy a peaceful environment?” “Why do I protect my children?” and “Why are we relaxed and comfy?”

Clenched to unclenched.

I am not saying that we don’t want to feed the world, or ensure clean water for all, or have peace on an earth where everyone is well. I am saying that activating is tight, and we do better when we are relaxed. Fighting is all about the clench, and peaceful is relaxed. Identifying our tensed up roles, and unchoosing them, and replacing them with a healthful environment makes me free.

How have I changed from fighting it to softening into a new reality?

(c) Pam Guthrie all rights reserved 02152014

Fishing The River Creative

Fishing The River Creative

Years ago I took a little workshop. It was a couple hours, and something that I got some work credit for taking. Often things like that are nice ways to spend some time away from my desk,  and not much more, but this one has stuck with me.

Being creative. Now, I was blessed as a little kid by having a lot of adults around me who encouraged me to draw, paint, sculpt, dance, write, make up songs, and just kind of be creative in general.I know a lot of us never get that, or we get criticized for our creative efforts. That sucks.

I have thought of myself as a creative person most of my life. At the same time, I felt like I had to have inspiration strike, like lightning. I could sit down and do rote exercises, like scales, or drawing hands, or limericks or haiku, things with rules and structure. But I had this idea that Creativity was bestowed, and I just had to wait for it.

I stand corrected.

What I have learned is that creativity, like so many other things, is more accessible, juicier, more enjoyable, the more we practice. If anyone had told me back in the day that I would be writing to you every day like this I would have thought they were daft. That I could do it with joy and ease, I would have thought that they were totally cracker-dog.

Why do my good ideas flow? What makes me relax? How do I celebrate my creativity?

What they told me in that workshop was this:  If I want to be really creative, I need to be creative every day. I needed to make creativity a habit. I literally got goosebumps when they said that. What a concept! Making creativity a habit.

We know a lot about habits, and how they can destroy us bit by bit, or bring us joy and lightheartedness bit by bit. We have a lot of tools now for discovering our habits, rooting out mislearned beliefs, unchoosing bad behaviors, shedding our fixed delusions. All we have to do is apply ourselves with some focus for a little while every day.

How can I choose my habits? Why do I exercise my creative powers?

I have a few little things I now do every day to exercise my creative neuropathways. I write to you, off the cuff, based on a Creative Questions Card that I pull either from the first or second edition decks. I write and publish a list of daily appreciations, and I come up with a secret name of the day.

The appreciations I write first thing in the morning. Have you ever primed a hand-pump? Pouring some water into it, pumping like mad to get the water to come up from the depths of its well? That’s what the appreciations do for me, get that flow of gratitude going for my day. Some days it’s super easy, other days, especially if I’ve had icky dreams, not so much. But that habit, that act of searching around in my yesterday and my upcoming day with an eye toward the good makes a huge difference.

Secret name of the day is total creative fun. I started doing it to remind myself that I am a divine and infinite being, and as such, one name is simply not sufficient.

Setting ourselves little creative tasks will limber up our access to our limitless creativity, and how fun is that!

How have I changed from waiting for inspiration to hit to keeping my creative juices flowing?

(c)2014 Pam Guthrie all rights reserved 02102014

From Crappy to Happy

From Crappy to Happy

One thing we can count on is change. The circumstances of life ebb and flow, wax and wane. Like riding a wave through its crest and trough, and the curl. O, the curl.

When we let life flow, we can surf the changes, enjoying the whole wave. When we let life flow, we find our resources easily, we find things to appreciate in any circumstance, we feel peaceful, and relaxed.

Why would I let life unfold? How do I go with the flow? What makes me ride the wave?

Sometimes, it happens that I tighten my grip on that flow, so to speak. I have scary or angry thoughts about stuff, and start to worry about things. When I tighten that grip, I get all clenched, and, bam, there goes my peaceful center. Bam, there goes my relaxed mind. Bam, there I am, swept under that wave with salt water up my nose.

If I continue to clench, to continue the surfing metaphor, I will sink. If I learned nothing else from swimming lessons, it’s that to float, one must relax.

That’s our first step back to happiness. I need to relax. The more I can relax my body, the more I can relax my mind. My thoughts can’t churn if I am relaxed, and that means my worry will cease, my fears can subside, and I can get back to trusting that I can handle the surf again, easily and comfortably.

Why would I relax? How do I choose my peace? Why am I safe to be soft?

When I remember that I can choose to trust that things will work out, that I can manage, or cope, or contend, with whatever happens, when I remember that I have resources, and that my resources include amazing, wise, loving you, I know I am okay, and I will be okay. I may be sad, or have other feelings, but my feelings aren’t me, my thoughts and behavior aren’t me, and I can love me unconditionally regardless of how I feel about that stuff. In fact, I will do better when I do. That’s my second step.

Why do I love me without strings? How am I my best friend? What makes me take care of myself?

Pema Chodron talks about feeling bad as a habit. In fact, she goes so far as to say that whenever we feel bad, we are in a habit. This bears thinking about. Feeling clean sorrow isn’t the same as feeling bad, for example. Fear isn’t always feeling bad, if we use it to spur us to necessary, supportive action, and let it go. It’s when we feel like we are bad, or deserve mistreatment, or to mistreat, when we are stuck in worry or guilt, especially guilt for just being alive, well, I don’t need to produce the list for you, you know your favorite stuck places.

So, here’s my third step. I need to remember that feeling bad is a habit from the inside out, not from the outside in. I am quite capable of riding out crummy situations most of the time, but when I hit an internal ebb, I may succumb. That is, start thinking awful thoughts, worrying, feeling guilty and ashamed. And it may be that those thoughts are just out of my awareness, weighing down my heart, twisting my guts, sitting heavy on my shoulders. It may take me a while, with all that dense feeling, to notice that I feel crappy. And then, it may take me a while to remember that I don’t have to stay there. All I have to do is remember that I can choose to change my thoughts, change my feelings, and get back to feeling good.

How have I changed from feeling stuck in the crap to choosing to lift myself up?

(c) 2014 Pam Guthrie all rights reserved 02032014

Finding Spirit

Finding Spirit

I don’t know about you, but I’ve never found a good, solid, clear definition of spirituality. I am not religious per se, but I do have spiritual feelings. Sorting out my ideas about my spirituality has been like the story of the seven blind men trying to describe an elephant; an elephant is like a rope, an elephant is like a tree, like the side of a hut, like the leaf of a banana tree; the tail, the leg, the body, the ear.

So I feel my way along, gleaning a little information here, a little more understanding there. I use my heart to feel my way.  

For me, being spiritual has several parts. Part one is recognizing the brilliance of nature. Spotting the golden ration out in the world, watching the results of our planet turning, listening to the birdies chattering, checking out a snowflake, or a stone. Why do I slow down and see? Why can I hear?

Part two is noticing my beliefs. Once I’ve identified a belief, I check it out and see how it fits with my primary commandment: Be excellent to each other. Since I am an “other” for someone, I figure that puts me in there, too. So I look for beliefs that diminish me, or you, and then set about changing them. Why am I good to myself? What makes me compassionate?

Part three is noticing my attitude. Oh, man, I used to hate that line, “You need to change your attitude, Missy!” I think it was the “Missy” that was like a poke in the chest and would get me all riled up. On the other hand, they were right, and eventually I did. And I do. I’ve learned that my day sucks only when I let it suck.

When I let myself relax out and away from my knee-jerk-y, negative emotional judgments, when I can relax away from worry and fear and anger, when I soften into my natural life, I see your good heart. I see your challenges and feel compassion and can find respect. When I feel compassion and respect for you, our relationship shifts. You don’t have to do a thing. It's like adding a paperclip to an element in a mobile -- everything has to shift to accommodate that little change.

So, my spiritual practice consists of being aware of my insides and outsides most of the time. Of noticing crappy beliefs that don’t support my prime directive, and change ‘em. Of noticing my attitude and changing it as needed. I meditate, I practice qigong, and I practice tonglen.

One of the ways I practice tonglen is to remember, “Other people feel this discomfort, too. May we all be free of this.”  Simple, easy. The point is that I am never “the only one.”  When I think, “I am the only one who ever blah blah blah,” I can bet my booty that my ego is running the show.

When my ego is running the show, stuff is going to get weird. I am going to feel put upon, or I will want to put upon you. I will bring all my worst stuff to the surface, and justify it all to heck and back. I will feel righteous. Putting you down feels natural to me in that state, because I am better than you.

Ew.

So that’s part of it, too. Noticing when I’ve let my ego-self take over, and letting go, relaxing back into my natural life.  And remembering that each person in my life brings me a gift of some sort each day. If I can’t see it, the failing is mine, and only mine, and they will bring it again to me tomorrow.

How have I changed from feeling a spiritual disconnect to feeling spirit throughout my life?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 11232013

Sexy Beasts

Sexy Beasts

Hotcha cha, the sexuality card leaped out from the deck again today. You’d almost think it was spring. Well, I guess it is, somewhere in the world.

Meanwhile, we all have sexuality, that is, sexual habits and desires. We each have a sexual identity. And because we tend to barenaked when we are being sexual, we also tend to be very quiet about it. Then it seems like it should be a secret, and we all know how much trouble we can get into with secrets.

Why do I accept my sexuality?

Also meanwhile, it’s a topic around which many of us have a lot of feels. Maybe because stuff is near where we poop, maybe because we tend to be private about it. At any rate, there are tons of taboos and proscriptions, and we get lots of ideas.

How do I know my thoughts are innocent?

And again meanwhile, we are wildly creative and brilliant, and like sensations, so it’s a fantastic opportunity to exercise those faculties. it can be so fun!

Why am I creative?

Meanwhile, sharing our sexuality with someone whom we love can feel like a kind of sacrament, a commingling of our divine selves, deepening our understanding of each other, sometimes even shared mystical experiences.

What makes me intimate?

Meanwhile, some of us had stuff happen when we were little that messed with our sexuality. Some of us end up conflating our sexuality with the damage and decide  to hurt others, or to subjugate them. Some of us end up feeling damaged, and hide our sexuality, denying a vibrate and rich part of ourselves.

How have I changed from feeling like damaged goods to enjoying the miracle of my being?

Some of us think that without a partner, we have no sexual identity. Some of us think that because we have a partner, our sexuality should be different from the way it is.

Because we are divine beings, our sexuality is divine, too. Being a divine sexual being doesn’t require a partner, only a little relaxed attention.

As with so much of what makes our lives nicer, when we relax, stop worrying, quit intellectualizing, and enjoy the flow of life,

And when I remember that I am perfect in this moment, I can accept my sexual identity. If I am using my sexual identity to hurt someone, even myself, I need to stop it and get help.

My sexuality, like my creativity, and my loving heart, are gifts for me to enjoy with you, or alone.

How have I changed from feeling pissy about my sexuality to revelling in the glory that is me?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 11102013