Making the Worst of It

Making the Worst of It

One of the wonderful things that has changed since I decided to be happy is that I look for solutions instead of worrying my problems.

One of the things that is so fun about finding solutions is that it’s all about being creative, and that’s more fun than a crate of happy puppies.

One of the things that is so fun about being creative is that I make the rules. I can dream up anything, it doesn’t have to be possible, or real, or legal, it’s just made up.

How do I know I am creative? Why do I find solutions? What makes me choose?

In the olden days, I would get stuck in my own little pile of ick.I would poke around in it,rehearsing how icky it was. I would worry about whether it was going to get ickier. I would beat me up about getting stuck in the first place, I would get scared about what all that ick was going to do to me, I would get angry at me and say awful things about how I must deserve ick if that’s what I had.

All that energy I was using to support my ick sapped my motivation to do anything else. All that worrying got me so anxious I couldn’t sleep well, my digestion would get dicey, I would catch stuff like colds, and tended to spend my time mostly alone, or, if it was with people, I would complain with like-minded folks who were sitting in their own pile of ick.

One of the features of wallowing in my own mire is that I cannot be present and wallow. Huh. I wallow in a negative, nasty past, or I wallow in a mirky and stinky future. Generally speaking, the present moment is mostly kind of neutral.

One of the things that I love about coming up with solutions is that solutions are goals. We often need to make a plan, and carry it out, and achieve it. I love goals. It’s something to look forward to, a good reason to get out of bed and get moving. I love goals because keeping my goal, that thing I want, in mind, helps me stay focused so I spend less time frittering my hours away. I get things done.

The same way that we have to practice happiness, we have to practice misery. We have to choose it over and over. Many of us choose it to the point of depression. By deciding to exercise our creativity, we can start to come up with ways to unchoose misery. We can come up with creative ways to banish negative thoughts, we can come up with hobbies, that is, non-work occupations we can feel passionate about. Surfing the Internet, for example, is not a hobby. Nor is housework. or TV. Collecting, exploring, making stuff, learning a language or to play an instrument; these are hobbies.

By choosing to exercise my creativity for good, for my good and the good of my communities, I am expanding my life a bit. I am engaging a bit more. I am deepening my connections. When I choose to come up with solutions, I become more interested in other stuff, less self-obsessed. When I choose to play with new hobbies, I refresh my spirit. When I choose to create goals for myself, I feel energized and enthusiastic. Using my creativity like this makes it one of my super powers to be used for good. And that makes me feel happy.

How have I changed from creating misery for myself to creating the life I want to live?

© Pam Guthrie 2014 all rights reserved 11192014

Look! On the Porch! It’s Creativity Woman!

Look! On the Porch! It’s Creativity Woman!

Creativity is a wonderful superpower when we harness it. It really helps when we remember that we choose how to use it.

Sometimes we are unaware that we are being creative. We disregard the fact that we are creating our reality by the filters we use. When I look for things to be miserable about, I find them. Likewise, when I seek out things to enjoy and be happy about, I find them.

We often feel like we are being productive when we worry about stuff. I recently saw a quote that said something about worrying being the same thing as praying for bad stuff to happen. All I know is that I have X amount of energy, or NRG as I am calling these days, and I would rather spend it on nice stuff.

When we are miserable, we like company in it, like Aesop’s tailless fox who tried to convince the other foxes how great it was. (He failed. They were clever as foxes.)

You can see this in scoldings, or blamings, or shamings. There are always ways to phrase stuff so it is kind or confrontive, gentle or abrasive, supportive or informative or shaming. Which would you rather hear?

Why do I choose? How do I know I am creative? Why do I claim my superpowers?

We do this to ourselves, it’s not just other people who shame and blame and scold us. When I feel like I am always wrong, I am being creative to make fine decisions seem like bad ones, to look at me with disgust or contempt when I am just fine, to decide that, even though I am at least 50% well, I am sick and miserable.

The more aware we become of our thoughts, attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors, the easier it is to see where we are doing this. A lot of being miserable is being unaware of how we support and maintain it, not remembering that, simply because we live around people, we have an impact on others, and that we choose.

Creative choice.

Another quote I really liked when I was transitioning from miserable depress-o girl to happy me was this: Sometimes you have to tear out your heart to save your soul. A poet by the name of Jane Something said it, and if you know who she is, please drop me a note.

I had a job I was used to. Low pay, few bennies, a lot of abusive talk, but I was familiar with it. I also had a boyfriend I was used to. Lots of drama, lots of blaming and shaming and put-downs, but it was familiar. Notice I didn’t say comfortable. Neither one was comfortable, but so, so very familiar. Leaving them was a huge deal, a big challenge, and it took me a while to work through my feelings, but, boy howdy, did my life get nicer. I put my heart back in my chest, and saved my soul.

I am not happy all the time, just most of the time. I am not kind all the time, or full of compassion, but a lot of the time. I am not self-aware all the time, but a good chunk of the time. I am better for taking those few moments I need to ask, “Where am I? How am I doing? Anything need a tweak?” And then I become Creativity Woman and come up with answers and tweaks, and plans, not outcomes.

How have I changed from being mindlessly tossed around in misery to enjoying wielding my superpower of creativity?

3. Pam Guthrie 2014 all rights reserved 09202014

Oo, That’s Nice!

Oo, That’s Nice!

Oo! A two card draw, and two I bet most of us could use. This is gonna be important, so put on your listening ears, and your thinking caps, and be ready to share, cuz we can use all the good ideas we can get.

Why do I have pleasure? Why am I creative? How do I pamper me?

Everyone who has a bit of a challenge pampering yourself, raise your hand. Yeah. I thought so.

For many of us, the only way we seem to take care of ourselves requires getting sick or hurt. Then we feel like we can justify taking time away from our daily routine, to catch up on our sleep, or have some time alone in the house. It’s the only way we can nurture ourselves, soothe our souls, refresh our spirits. We treat everyone else better than we treat ourselves.

When we just plunk away at our routines week after month, we can end up feeling like a drudge, bored, resentful, and sad. We may be living the life we dreamed of, but when it’s the same old thing every day, even paradise can feel dull.

What inspires me? How do I feel refreshed? Why do I feel rejuvenated?

When I take some time, before I get sick, or distracted, to replenish my emotional reserves, it takes much less to leave me feeling refreshed.

So here’s the big question:  What refreshes you? How do you experience self-care? What makes you feel nurtured?

If you responded with an “I don’t know,” then you have some work to do, namely, to find some stuff that makes you feel cared for by your own self.

Walks, bubble baths, massages, a movie marathon with popcorn, a mani-pedi, mindful eating, mindful listening to your favorite music, playing in water, visiting an aquarium and watching fish swim, have a picnic, go to bed early in fresh bedding, aromatherapy, visit someplace new in your town. If you don’t spend much time with your friends, call one. If you are always connected, turn off your devices for an evening. Let folks know so they don’t freak out. Make a list of things you like about you. Read it out loud to yourself.

Those are a few ideas. Some of them just take a few minutes, but 5 minutes spent mindfully consuming a square of chocolate or delicious cup of something can make a huge difference in our stress levels, in our sense of connection to our own lives, in the level and quality of care we can give our loved ones. Even just taking deep, slow breaths, and really enjoying each inhale and each exhale, can go a long way to leaving us feeling like we care about our own selves.

Honor, respect, celebration; these are things we can give ourselves. Treating ourselves well is something we can incorporate into our daily routine, a few moments here, a something nice there. The biggest trick is to focus on that treat, to really experience it in the moment, to savor it, and to enjoy it fully. This may take some practice. So practice a bit each day. Set a timer if you need to. Remember, our soft addictions are not pampering, they are escapes, so pick things you don’t normally go to, at least to start.

How have I changed from feeling like a drudge to treating myself with nurturing respect?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2014 all rights reserved 05292014

How to Throw a Pity Party

How to Throw a Pity Party

Some days it’s really easy, light, and everything seems to flow with the shine and magic, but not the poison, of mercury. Some days it’s really challenging, heavy, and everything seems to sludge along, a little bit stinky and really slow.

Some days we find extraordinarily taxing, some days leave us feeling super-charged, and blissful.

I have taken to writing a daily set of appreciations. “Why am I grateful?”is one of my favorite questions, and I write them very first thing when I get up, so I’m not much awake. I decided it was a great way to open my eyes to a new day, appreciating the one just past.

Most days, those appreciations flow off my fingers like butter in the sun, but every so often, it’s not like that. This morning, for example.

Clunk clunk clunk. I can’t think of a darn thing I’m thankful for, even though I am surrounded by luxury, love, abundance, health, and fun. I’m serious.

When that happens, when my normal flow feels chunky, I am pretty sure to have some negative emotional or moral judgments going on about something, feeling a bit sour, or bitter, maybe. At the very least, I may be pissed off about something.

This is where being a divine and infinite being of great creativity comes in handy.

Now, as creative people, when faced with this kind of old fashioned heaviness, we can innovate. We can invent ingenious ways to lighten up, we can imagine novelties that free our spirits, we can craft Creative Questions that shift everything in an instant. Aren’t we cool?

Sometimes, just playing with a question like, “Why do I feel light? or How do I feel when I feel light?” will do it, but sometimes I have to poke around in my nether mind and look for the whats: What’s making me feel this way? What’s my negative judgment? What does that heaviness come from?

When I find my topic, mine this morning was a lot of busyness at work, I can use my creativity to address and change the negative judgments. The bottom line is this, if I don’t judge something negatively, I don’t perceive it negatively. It’s that simple, and sometimes, I know, it can be really annoying.

Sometimes, we want to feel crappy. We feel like we deserve it. Sometimes, we feel justified in our funk, or our misery, or our bitterness. Sometimes, we feel like we’ve earned the right to be angry, or nasty, well, maybe you haven’t, but I know I have. But, the same way we might binge on food or alcohol, we sometimes binge on these icky feelings.

When I am in the throes of the Ick, and I recognize it, I go for it. I wallow. I squish it up between my toes, I fill my lungs with it, I taste the bitter, or sour, or angry. I deck myself out in self-pity until I am absolutely saturated with it. Usually takes me about ten minutes before I’m sick of it, and wanna get back to my happy self.

I do appreciate a good pity party.

How have I changed from feeling stuck in my ick to finding creative solutions to lift my spirits?

(c) Pam Guthrie all rights reserved 02272014

Fishing The River Creative

Fishing The River Creative

Years ago I took a little workshop. It was a couple hours, and something that I got some work credit for taking. Often things like that are nice ways to spend some time away from my desk,  and not much more, but this one has stuck with me.

Being creative. Now, I was blessed as a little kid by having a lot of adults around me who encouraged me to draw, paint, sculpt, dance, write, make up songs, and just kind of be creative in general.I know a lot of us never get that, or we get criticized for our creative efforts. That sucks.

I have thought of myself as a creative person most of my life. At the same time, I felt like I had to have inspiration strike, like lightning. I could sit down and do rote exercises, like scales, or drawing hands, or limericks or haiku, things with rules and structure. But I had this idea that Creativity was bestowed, and I just had to wait for it.

I stand corrected.

What I have learned is that creativity, like so many other things, is more accessible, juicier, more enjoyable, the more we practice. If anyone had told me back in the day that I would be writing to you every day like this I would have thought they were daft. That I could do it with joy and ease, I would have thought that they were totally cracker-dog.

Why do my good ideas flow? What makes me relax? How do I celebrate my creativity?

What they told me in that workshop was this:  If I want to be really creative, I need to be creative every day. I needed to make creativity a habit. I literally got goosebumps when they said that. What a concept! Making creativity a habit.

We know a lot about habits, and how they can destroy us bit by bit, or bring us joy and lightheartedness bit by bit. We have a lot of tools now for discovering our habits, rooting out mislearned beliefs, unchoosing bad behaviors, shedding our fixed delusions. All we have to do is apply ourselves with some focus for a little while every day.

How can I choose my habits? Why do I exercise my creative powers?

I have a few little things I now do every day to exercise my creative neuropathways. I write to you, off the cuff, based on a Creative Questions Card that I pull either from the first or second edition decks. I write and publish a list of daily appreciations, and I come up with a secret name of the day.

The appreciations I write first thing in the morning. Have you ever primed a hand-pump? Pouring some water into it, pumping like mad to get the water to come up from the depths of its well? That’s what the appreciations do for me, get that flow of gratitude going for my day. Some days it’s super easy, other days, especially if I’ve had icky dreams, not so much. But that habit, that act of searching around in my yesterday and my upcoming day with an eye toward the good makes a huge difference.

Secret name of the day is total creative fun. I started doing it to remind myself that I am a divine and infinite being, and as such, one name is simply not sufficient.

Setting ourselves little creative tasks will limber up our access to our limitless creativity, and how fun is that!

How have I changed from waiting for inspiration to hit to keeping my creative juices flowing?

(c)2014 Pam Guthrie all rights reserved 02102014

Three Cheers for You

Three Cheers for You

You are such an inspiration to me, to so many of us. Your little kindnesses, your cool ideas, your interesting stories, and fun activities are so engaging. It’s good to be around you. And I get such good ideas about stuff listening to you and seeing what you do.

Why are you such an inspiration?

I know there are days when you don’t get it at all. When you feel like you don’t contribute anything, It’s just a feeling, Don’t trust it, and like the old saw, this, too, shall pass.

It’s the little things all day long, the little smile at the stranger you passed, staying calm in traffic, and when that person budged ahead of you in line. It’s the gentleness with a child, a pet, a co-worker. You do these things without thinking.

Why do I share my passion? How do things flow from my heart?

I know there are days when you think no one ever notices, but we do. And we think you are terrific, even if we don’t say so.

Why am I appreciated? How do I feel honored?

And when we see you doing all the little things you do, we feel inspired to do them, too. Your loving ways ripple out, and have a sweet impact on so many of us. Your smile makes us smile, and we pass that on.

What makes me an inspiration?

You do these things spontaneously, from that place of love. You just get a great idea popping into your head that makes things go really right. You get great ideas about a lot of things, and, because you’ve learned to trust you, you bring ‘em out and let ‘em get some air. We love those great ideas. Sometimes we like them so well, we take them for our own.

Why am I so creative?

And here’s another thing. You are so cool, so smart, and talented, and just generally amazing, but you aren’t all arrogant and swell-headed. I can’t tell you how cool that is. You own it, you don’t pretend you aren’t those things, but somehow, because you are so comfortable with them, and you look for them in me, I end up feeling cool and smart and talented and amazing when I am with you. I love that.

I love to know you. I love to hear about the things you do for your family, how you take care of business at work, the ways you contribute to your community. I like to hear about your hobbies. You are so fun to do stuff with, even mundane things. In fact, doing mundane things with you elevates them.

Being around you helps me to remember that any space, any activity I engage in can be a sacred thing. When I remember to slow down inside, when I remember to be aware, when I remember to feel appreciation and gratitude, everything enjoys significance. Thank you for helping me remember that.

How have I changed from muddling through to feeling clear and appreciative?

(c) 2014 Pam Guthrie all rights reserved 01292014

You, the Creative Genius

You, the Creative Genius

One of my very most favorite things about being a human is being creative. Now, I will say that I am a very creative person. You are, too. We often discount our creativity because we don’t think of the channels where we use it as being creative channels.

What the heck am I talking about, you ask?

Well, like so many other things, the more we use our creativity, the more creativity we get. I’ve been writing to you every day for nineteen months. I wouldn’t have thought I could before I did. Here, my creative mind is a huge asset, and cultivating it in this arena makes me happy, and helps me stay focussed on what matters to me.

But we have places where our brilliant, creative minds do us a spectacular disservice.

Did you ever wonder how Stephen King came up with all those creepy, scary stories? If you think that he sat around in a lovely, cozy, sunny room with lemonade and cake, you're wrong. Poor Mr. King came up with those from his own, anxious worry, and terrible nightmares. He discovered that he felt some relief if he wrote them out.

He cultivated his anxiety and worry, and it almost killed him over and over. Poor Mr. King. At least he won fame and fortune, even if he was miserable.

When we are worrying, we are composing fictions. Unless we are writing it down and selling it for thousands of dollars, it is not benefiting us in the least. In fact, it is literally eating up our bodies. Worry, anxiety, and guilt are the cannibal emotions, devouring our physical bodies, our spirit bodies, our emotional bodies, and our mind.

They are the heartless, and heedless emo zombies. They make you feel like you are doing something productive, and don’t care that when they have killed you from within, they must find a new host body. There is always a new host body. Bwahahahahah!

Ok, I am being silly, but being creative in our worry and guilt is dumb. Stop it. And seriously, that’s what we have to do.

We can take ameliorating drugs, but they don’t change the thought habit, they only fuzz it up. It’s up to us to use our creativity to stop ourselves from going there.

I used a rubber band on my wrist and snapped it whenever I start into worry or anxiety. I would say, “Stop it!” outloud and then push my mind into something pleasant. I had to make lists of nice stuff to think about because I was so used to wallowing in dark, stinky places in my mind, and when I got into those places, there was no such thing as sunshine or joy.

When it’s the middle of the night, and you are lying in bed with the emo zombies chomping on your peace, and you can’t seem  stop them there, get up. It’s worth losing a little sleep to slay them. Make a list of things you are grateful for, or things you appreciate, or love, or things you like to do. Clean something, learn the words to a song you like, or a poem. I love you, but I cannot stop your emo zombies, only you can. Choose. Decide. Act.

By using our creative minds for good rather than for evil, we change our world at it’s innermost point, maybe by only one degree, but as that single degree moves out from that center, it encompasses more and more of our own life, and creates a happy and peaceful space for our loved ones and extended community as well. That’s means that when you choose to slay your zombies, you are saving the world.

You rock.

How have I changed from treating my emo zombies to the best of me, to using my creative genius to save the world?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 09212013