Being Wise

Being Wise

Have you started paying attention to your wisdom? Are you aware of how smart you are? Do you own your insight?

How do you know you are intelligent?

Sometimes, there are well-meaning people in our lives who ascribe to the notion that accusing someone of being stupid will improve that someone’s behavior. It doesn’t. Sometimes they are not so well-meaning, and are saying that as part of their legacy of childhood, that is, their adults shamed them.

Why am I smart? How am I wise? What makes me clever?

So, over the years, we get the idea that we aren’t brilliant, that we aren’t wise. We decide that since maybe we aren’t smart at X, we aren’t smart. We delude ourselves, and then we fix those delusions into our personal dogma. Dang.

Fixed delusions. Unsupportive beliefs. Wrong thinking.

How do I know I’ve got some of that going on?  I feel bad. It’s really that simple. If I feel bad, I have something off operating in my brain.

How can I choose? Why do I decide? What makes me positive?

We have all got smarts about something, even if we don’t all have smarts about everything. Smarts tends to be more about fact-type stuff. Like friends who can rattle off information about amazing topics. Sometimes, we have the kind of smarts that gets valued in school, and sometimes our smarts are barely recognized in school. Sometimes our smarts are mechanical, in that we can build or fix stuff like a whiz. Sometimes our smarts are musical or in the visual arts, or even culinary smarts.

Smarts tend to be something we learn, someone needs to teach us. We might be able to figure some stuff out in our smart places, but we will need to be taught, maybe by a live person in front of us, maybe by books or videos.

Wisdom isn’t taught. Wisdom bubbles up from inside. Wisdom is often about information from our belly-brain, information about the relationship between things, intuitive information, deep, non-verbal stuff. Wisdom produces insights into ourselves, our communities, our world. Wisdom can often produce life-changing ideas.

Wisdom cannot be taught.

We can nurture our wisdom. We can recognize it, and cultivate it, and listen to it. As we own our wisdom, we find ourselves coming to know who we are more profoundly. This, in turn, will often bring us more self-compassion, and more compassion for each other. As we practice cultivating our wisdom, we will also become more self-forgiving, better at letting go, slower to hold a grudge. Our wisdom lets us see the big picture and the little details.

How have I changed from doubting my wisdom to owning my own brilliant mind?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2014 all rights reserved 05122014

How do you feel when you are wise?

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Choosing the Doing

Choosing the Doing

Two cards popped this morning. Why do I like what I do? Why am I celebrated?

Well, that’s certainly a powerful set o’ Questions, isn’t it!

These are relatively new experiences for me. I know you aren’t surprised to hear that. Of course, I had things I liked to do, but they weren’t my occupation. I often hated what I was doing, even when I got my dream jobs.

We get ideas about how things go. We learn as small children by watching our adults. We learn that work is satisfying, or contemptible. We learn that we have to work jobs we hate, or we get to work jobs we love. We learn that co-workers are an important part of our emotional life, or that they are a burden to be carried and suffered. We are, for the most part, unaware of these made-up rules of employment, but we find that every job we go to has the same set up. Fancy that.

These notions, arbitrary, based on observation by our baby minds, turn into fixed delusions. And because they are delusions, as we do our daily lives, we don’t even see that they are just made up ideas.

One of the things I learned in High School was about doing critiques. All a critique is, is coming up with a line of bullshit and finding stuff to support it. Useful, cynical. And that’s what a fixed delusion is, a pile of made-up stuff that we then spend a lifetime finding stuff to support. We actually live a lot of our lives doing that. It’s the filtering thing.

We have to filter in order to function in the world. There is simply too much information available at any given time.

What makes me decide? How do I choose? Why can I slow down?

When I give myself permission to slow down, to start to notice what my patterns are, to consider the notion of fixed delusions, I begin to choose freedom.

How do I feel when I am free? Why can I decide? How do I find solutions?

When I notice that my ideas about work match the ideas one of my adults from my childhood expressed, and they weren’t good, I have a little wiggle room. When I see how my notions about relationships with co-workers do the same thing, I have a bit more wiggle room. I also have an arsenal. I have free will that can I exercise. I can unchoose the mislearnings of my past. I have Creative Questions.

Why do I like what I do? How do I know my efforts have value? Why do I enjoy my work environment? What makes me appreciated?

By taking responsibility for the quality of my work life, I have a sense of control. I know I get to choose my attitude. I understand that when I’m being pissy at work, I’m operating from a fixed delusion. I get to change that, and I know that making that shift will make things better for me, and for you, my co-worker, which is how I am responsible to you.

How have I changed from hating my job to loving what I do?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2014 all rights reserved 03192014

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Fishing The River Creative

Fishing The River Creative

Years ago I took a little workshop. It was a couple hours, and something that I got some work credit for taking. Often things like that are nice ways to spend some time away from my desk,  and not much more, but this one has stuck with me.

Being creative. Now, I was blessed as a little kid by having a lot of adults around me who encouraged me to draw, paint, sculpt, dance, write, make up songs, and just kind of be creative in general.I know a lot of us never get that, or we get criticized for our creative efforts. That sucks.

I have thought of myself as a creative person most of my life. At the same time, I felt like I had to have inspiration strike, like lightning. I could sit down and do rote exercises, like scales, or drawing hands, or limericks or haiku, things with rules and structure. But I had this idea that Creativity was bestowed, and I just had to wait for it.

I stand corrected.

What I have learned is that creativity, like so many other things, is more accessible, juicier, more enjoyable, the more we practice. If anyone had told me back in the day that I would be writing to you every day like this I would have thought they were daft. That I could do it with joy and ease, I would have thought that they were totally cracker-dog.

Why do my good ideas flow? What makes me relax? How do I celebrate my creativity?

What they told me in that workshop was this:  If I want to be really creative, I need to be creative every day. I needed to make creativity a habit. I literally got goosebumps when they said that. What a concept! Making creativity a habit.

We know a lot about habits, and how they can destroy us bit by bit, or bring us joy and lightheartedness bit by bit. We have a lot of tools now for discovering our habits, rooting out mislearned beliefs, unchoosing bad behaviors, shedding our fixed delusions. All we have to do is apply ourselves with some focus for a little while every day.

How can I choose my habits? Why do I exercise my creative powers?

I have a few little things I now do every day to exercise my creative neuropathways. I write to you, off the cuff, based on a Creative Questions Card that I pull either from the first or second edition decks. I write and publish a list of daily appreciations, and I come up with a secret name of the day.

The appreciations I write first thing in the morning. Have you ever primed a hand-pump? Pouring some water into it, pumping like mad to get the water to come up from the depths of its well? That’s what the appreciations do for me, get that flow of gratitude going for my day. Some days it’s super easy, other days, especially if I’ve had icky dreams, not so much. But that habit, that act of searching around in my yesterday and my upcoming day with an eye toward the good makes a huge difference.

Secret name of the day is total creative fun. I started doing it to remind myself that I am a divine and infinite being, and as such, one name is simply not sufficient.

Setting ourselves little creative tasks will limber up our access to our limitless creativity, and how fun is that!

How have I changed from waiting for inspiration to hit to keeping my creative juices flowing?

(c)2014 Pam Guthrie all rights reserved 02102014

Fanning the Desire Fire

Fanning the Desire Fire

What is the most powerful Creative Question? I bet you know. It’s sure my favorite question.

This question is the beginning of everything good, the transition from stuck to splendid, from sad to glad, from meh to yay.

This is the question that is fundamental to each moment, however brief, in our day. It directs our thoughts, our emotions and feeling, our actions. When we claim this question as our own, we have started to take responsibility for our lives, and better they will most certainly become.

Why can I choose? What makes me decide? Where do I want to go? How do I want to be? What do I want to do?

Choice. Thousands of them all day long. We are so used to making them that we mostly don’t even notice. They are often out of our awareness, and, in long strings, they become our routines, our habits. We start the instant we wake up, and chug along making them for the rest of our day. We make choices that support our well being, make us comfy, put things off. We choose to be kind, to be mean, to love, or to hate. We choose what to eat, whether we’re thirsty, if we want to pee.

We choose to believe lies, to be afraid, to worry, to ignore. We choose to create beauty, simplicity, ugliness, complexity. misery, joy.

We choose to look at our crap and own it, or not. We choose to clean it up, or not.

How do I know I am powerful? What makes me strong? Why do I choose to see the good?

I admit, there are times when I feel like I have no choice. When I notice that feeling, I like to start making up outrageous choices. Crazy things I would never, or could never, do. They help me remember that feeling like there is only one thing I can do is in itself a choice.

Why am I so creative? What makes me find solutions? What is my heart’s desire?

It is our baby nature, our immature self, that likes to focus on what we don’t want, what we don’t like; the toddler, sobbing on the floor over a broken cheese stick. I haven’t got it down pat, I have days when I feel like that baby, and want to fall on the floor kicking and screaming for something I can’t have or don’t want. But, little by little, more often than not, I am past that, with an eye out for the opportunities to move my life in the directions I want it to go.

Why do I choose to shed my fixed delusions? Why do I choose to unchoose my unsupportive beliefs? Why do I choose to dump my mislearnings?

That’s profound stuff right there. Those questions will transform our lives in ways we can’t imagine in the place we’re currently at.

It may not be comfortable. It may not feel familiar. It may feel taxing, but boy, howdy, it’s gonna shake things up in a really good way. Like, in a what’s the most wonderful thing you could ever imagine happening kind of way.

Why am I worth it?

(c) 2014 Pam Guthrie all rights reserved 02072014

Losing the Win

I'm back! I missed you, and I surely missed writing our contemplations. I wondered what would stop me writing to you, and it turns out that a big sick will do it.  Love you!!

How have I changed from feeling crappy to feeling happy?

Losing the Win

Isn’t it interesting how certain words hit us? No word has inherent emotional weight, and yet we can imbue them with the power to disgust us, or inflame our passions, warm our heart cockles, or break those same hearts.  I used to get kind of bent whenever I heard the phrase “you people.” We are so cute.

For some of us, the reaction is a resounding, “Hells, yeah! Whatever it takes, baby!” And with it comes the joy of triumph over others.

For some of us, the reaction is a shrinking away, “If I win, you lose” kind of thing. And with that comes a feeling of sorrow for the ones who didn’t come in first.

It’s all one thing when we are talking about a sporting event, game tournament, talent show, state fair gig, or grammar competition, but another thing altogether when we are talking about living in general. First prize is great, but our daily life isn’t a competition.

We all have our own personal dark ages. Since we are here, I assume yours are falling behind you, as mine have. One aspect of our own, personal age of enlightenment is that we no longer need to feel better than or worse than the other fella. That changes the whole concept of winning.

What makes me a winner? How am I victorious? How do I conquer?

When I spend time trying to beat you, outside of a normal contest, I start out the loser. If I try to put you down, or undermine you, or sabotage your efforts, I am the loser. If I try to manipulate others to side with me against you, or say rotten things behind your back to pump me up, well, you get the idea.

Nowadays, the way I see myself a winner is if at the end of the day I have lived my day in accord with my beliefs and values, the new ones that support me, and you, then I have won. Now, I am in competition with my former self for charge of me, my thoughts, my actions.

I admit, it is kind of a weird thought, being in competition with one’s self, but I find it kind of  a useful thought. It helps me remember that I want to be, as Deepak Chopra says, a “pioneer of the future” rather than a “prisoner of the past.”

Why do I choose my new path? What makes me strive forward? Why do I welcome my growth?

When I remember to feel compassion for you instead of spending time thinking about what a jerk you were, I move forward. When I remember to treat me kindly when I misstep, instead of being self-abusive, I more forward. When I am generous with my abundance, I move forward.

Each time I notice an old behavior that doesn’t support me, and shift it out for one that does, I grow a bit. Each time I stop me from making a negative emotional judgment about you, I grow a bit. Each time I find and shed a fixed delusion, I grow a bit. Each time I allow a negative judgment from you roll off me, I grow a bit.

Why do I win? What makes me feel accomplished? How do I triumph?

As I start to practice this way of winning, I can ease up on me. That makes me relax a bit. Trying to beat you all the time is exhausting, so when I stop I get a lot of energy back. Now, I am relaxed and full of energy, and I can let go into my natural life, and how blissful is that.

How have I changed from needing to beat or be beaten to knowing I can best triumph over my former self?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2014 all rights reserved 01192014

The Folly of No

The Folly of No

I love the concept of fixed delusions. We all have ‘em, weird ideas about how the world is that are totally normal and rational as far as we are concerned but weird as all get out to other people if we were to say them out loud.

Thing is, because they are delusions, we don’t know they are there. Ain’t that a kick in the pants!

Perhaps now is the time to root them out.

Once you learn the trick for spotting your fixed delusions, it is easy to recognize them, even if you may not believe they are wrong.

Look for your personal “no!” An example for me showed up today when I pulled the money card and read the back, “You have always easily managed all of your resources.” Whew! Clearly, I still have some fixed delusions around resources.

When we hear something about how nice life is, and we get a strong NO!, we have found a fixed delusion. The bigger our NO! the stronger the delusion.

The NO! might come as the word “no” but it can also come as a jerking backwards, or a grimace, or something else. It feels like a shove away, or a pull back from.

Sometimes we get that NO! when we are confronted on our behavior, or beliefs.

We can have them about anything from our health to our family, work relationships or tasks, romance, food, fitness, happiness, sleep. If it’s a part of our lives, we can be deluded about it.

When we encounter a fixed delusion, we may react with resistance. Resistance, now there’s a bizarre topic. The lengths we will go to resist something can be astonishing. One of my beloved teachers said that she had clients who suffered heart attacks and strokes, and even died to avoid dealing with their fixed delusions. It’s a serious thing.

So with a big topic like that, how to we get from NO! to peaceful and relaxed?

Creative Questions to the rescue! Take my “no” from this card. I can turn that statement into a Creative Question easily; “Why do I always manage my resources easily? How am I competent with all my resources? What makes me use my resources wisely?”

Sometimes, just asking the question will make the resistance lessen. If it doesn’t, I can use the words “would” or “could” to soften the question; “Why would I always manage all my resources easily?”

Turning our NO! into a yes is one of those well-worth-the-effort things. Life doesn’t flow when we are full of “no.” It’s so much easier to be aware, to trust, to relax, when we address our NO!.

How have I changed from resisting to allowing my life to flow?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2014 all rights reserved 01082014

Is it Really You?

Is it Really You?

The topic of our being divine and infinite beings has been up a lot lately. We are so much more than we think we are, we are capable of so much more than we think we can do, we have such a great capacity for love and being loved, for compassion and being supported. We have miraculously creative minds, an infinite depth of spirit, an infinite capacity for joy.

Our core selves are really neato. Only thing is, we accrete all this crud separating ourselves from that self. So much of that crud is trauma from when we were little that we don’t even remember, but it set up a series of beliefs that we use to live our lives.

It’s time to shed our fixed delusions. How do I know I am good enough? Why am I right? What makes me choose for me?

One of the fixed delusions many of us have is the idea that we have to hide our true selves or no one will like us.

Searching out our fixed delusions is pretty easy. Look for your stuff that starts with “I never,” or “I always” and then continues with something sad or bad. You may find ‘em filed under “I don’t,” or “I can’t.” Look for thoughts that make your feelings sink.

We create our limits, and then use those made-up limits to define ourselves.

Poor we.

How do I choose to support me? What makes me treat me with kindness and respect? Why am I patient with my foibles?

Choosing our authentic self requires an initial outlay of courage and trust. Most of the really awesome things do. But once we’ve made that choice, life gets easier, life gets nicer. A lot nicer. Not pretending saves a lot of energy. We can use that energy to do fun stuff, or satisfying stuff, stuff to support our families or communities.

Choosing our authentic self makes room in our lives for us to breathe. When we aren’t trying to keep up some sort of shell around us all the time, we can relax. As we relax, it becomes easier to let our life flow, we don’t get stuck as often or for as long. We see more beauty, we find more enjoyment, the sun is sunnier.

Sometimes we think we are unlovable. Sometimes we think that if people saw our real selves they would shun us. Fixed delusions. We are all, at our core, lovable. You are so lovable.

Sometimes we think that we have to fix everything around us, and then we will be happy. We can’t. It’s like trying to breathe all the air. What we can do is take care of our own stuff. As we do that, we make subtle shifts in our behavior and that makes the people around us shift, too. Sometimes, they shift closer to us, and cleaner, and sometimes they may shift away.

Sometimes we take stuff personally, and think we are being shunned, or people are mean to us because we aren’t good enough, or lovable, you know, that kind of thing.  It’s not personal. Or everything is personal. However it goes, choose to do something else rather than suffer with it.

How have I changed from hiding my real self to stepping out and showing up?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2014 all rights reserved 01052014

Mui Importante

Mui Importante

How important we are to each other. In a thousand thousand ways we touch each other’s lives, we impact each other’s well being, we create spaces of safety or pain for each other.

Why am I so important? Why are you so important? What makes us so important?

We all have stuff that happens to us, that wounds us, that changes us. We each have choices about how we will live with that stuff. Will I clean it up, or will I carry it?

I get to choose. I chose to carry it for a long time. It would whack me in the back of my legs as I walked, it would drag my shoulders down because it was so heavy. It smelled bad and made me sick a lot. Sometime it would leak and get nasty stuff on me and my friends. Carrying that stuff was hard, dirty work. I did it for a long time, and I was exhausted.

And then I decided that I wanted to be happy. Not “won the lottery” happy, but deep down soul happy.

You can’t be soul happy and carry around all that crap. You can’t be soul happy and carry around your old emo crap. You have to clean it up and let it go.

I spend most of my time soul happy now.

Why do I choose to clean up my act? Why would I be happy? What makes me chose to be one with the light?

I always tell you the truth to the best of my ability, and I will tell you now, dealing with our emo crap takes courage. It requires believing you are worth the effort. It may take several tries to find a person whom you click with. It takes a willingness to abandon your fixed delusions.

Why am I strong and soft? Why am I competent? What makes me relax into my natural life?

When I choose to be soul happy, and start to do the work, miraculous things happen for me.  My relationship with myself is transformed. I cease to be adversarial with me. I am way less critical of me, and of you. And I find that I become important to me in a whole new way.

When I am carrying my crap around, my crap is what is most important to me, my ideas about how wrong or off or weird I am, in a bad way, need to be hauled out, nurtured, tended like a rare orchid. My misery fills me up, and I hardly ever get a break from it. It really will make me physically sick in a bunch of different ways. At the very least, it weakens my immune system.

I want to be important in my life. I want to be able to create safe spaces, full of love and resources for us to heal in. I want to feel that my work is important, and to go to be satisfied and content. I want that for you, too.

By choosing to let go of our crap, a bit and a bit and a bit, we make room for amazingly wonderful transformations to happen. By choosing to let go of our crap, we live more and more of our life in our natural life of joy, satisfaction, contentment, peace, bliss, and relaxation. We become naturally important.

How have I changed from feeling insignificant to owning my importance?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 12152013