The Folly of No

The Folly of No

I love the concept of fixed delusions. We all have ‘em, weird ideas about how the world is that are totally normal and rational as far as we are concerned but weird as all get out to other people if we were to say them out loud.

Thing is, because they are delusions, we don’t know they are there. Ain’t that a kick in the pants!

Perhaps now is the time to root them out.

Once you learn the trick for spotting your fixed delusions, it is easy to recognize them, even if you may not believe they are wrong.

Look for your personal “no!” An example for me showed up today when I pulled the money card and read the back, “You have always easily managed all of your resources.” Whew! Clearly, I still have some fixed delusions around resources.

When we hear something about how nice life is, and we get a strong NO!, we have found a fixed delusion. The bigger our NO! the stronger the delusion.

The NO! might come as the word “no” but it can also come as a jerking backwards, or a grimace, or something else. It feels like a shove away, or a pull back from.

Sometimes we get that NO! when we are confronted on our behavior, or beliefs.

We can have them about anything from our health to our family, work relationships or tasks, romance, food, fitness, happiness, sleep. If it’s a part of our lives, we can be deluded about it.

When we encounter a fixed delusion, we may react with resistance. Resistance, now there’s a bizarre topic. The lengths we will go to resist something can be astonishing. One of my beloved teachers said that she had clients who suffered heart attacks and strokes, and even died to avoid dealing with their fixed delusions. It’s a serious thing.

So with a big topic like that, how to we get from NO! to peaceful and relaxed?

Creative Questions to the rescue! Take my “no” from this card. I can turn that statement into a Creative Question easily; “Why do I always manage my resources easily? How am I competent with all my resources? What makes me use my resources wisely?”

Sometimes, just asking the question will make the resistance lessen. If it doesn’t, I can use the words “would” or “could” to soften the question; “Why would I always manage all my resources easily?”

Turning our NO! into a yes is one of those well-worth-the-effort things. Life doesn’t flow when we are full of “no.” It’s so much easier to be aware, to trust, to relax, when we address our NO!.

How have I changed from resisting to allowing my life to flow?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2014 all rights reserved 01082014

Bring On the Bling

Bring On the Bling

If you want an instantaneous way to go from rags to riches, let me tell you this secret. Change your point of view.

I know, it’s sappy as all get out, letting a smile be your umbrella kind of thing, but it  works.

When I flip from feeling resenting what I don’t have to appreciating what I do have, I feel good. When I feel good, I see good around me. When I see good around me, I see opportunities. When I see opportunities, and take them, I expand my world, and when I expand my world I get a little more of everything I want.

I love that.

Feeling satisfied with what I have. Recognizing and appreciating my resources. Valuing my possessions, valuing my skills, talents, and gifts, valuing my family, friends, communities, and co-workers.

I love that I love that we have plumbing that can bring me hot water on the top floor.

I love that I know people who, when I feel sad, or stuck, or confused, or lonesome, will help me with open hearts and loving minds and tell me very nicely when I’m being an idiot, not their word.

I love that there are people to help when my car breaks down. I love that I have a car when I need one. I love public transportation. I love that I can walk when I want and where I want.

Are you sensing a pattern here?

When we let ourselves relax into appreciation, the world is so lavish, so deluxe and opulent, that just looking out the window at the view we see each day can fill our hearts.

When I claim and value my resources, something magical starts to happen. I find myself with more resources. I find support in unlikely places. I am offered generous help, and seemingly magical things happen for me with astounding regularity.

Some people call it luck. As you can see, it’s not really luck, it’s all about appreciation, gratitude, openness, awareness, and action.

Why do I appreciate what I have? What makes me thankful? Why do I choose to be aware? How am I open?

By choosing to live a life that is conducive to attracting resources, I will attract resources. When I am grateful and generous, when I value and appreciate, my life gets really nice.

Allowing my life to flow, relaxing into my flowing natural life, I take things in stride with joy and satisfaction. I see all kinds of challenges as opportunities, I find myself choosing to change my old crappy habits and patterns, and I have more fun.

How have I changed from living a scarcity mindset to revelling in my lavish and splendiferous world?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 10152013

Ka-Ching!

Ka-Ching!

Money is such an interesting thing. We have a thousand words for it, we have a thousand feelings about it. Can you imagine how messed up stuff would be if we had the same kind of emo-craze around electricity? Or water? Or air?

Money is energy, flowing energy. Simple, clean. But boy, oh, boy, what we do with it!

We feel all the basic emotions around money, and then we make it complicated with mislearnings and feelings about the mislearnings, and then we act on that and do weird things with our money, or for money, or against money.

Some of us act like it’s a sentient entity that’s out to get us. I’ve worked with people who realized that they saw money as their hateful, miserly grandpa, who beat them, and, although he had a lot of money, and they were cold and hungry, never helped them. Or as a cold and calculating businessman who thought money should only be spent on necessities, anything else was wasteful. Clients who saw money as a wild jock who spent spent spent on anything fun, with nothing left over for basic needs.

Wowza.

In the dark ages, money scared me so much. I saw it as the source of misery and stress. I saw money as loud and angry and violent. Certainly, that kind of energy was something I wanted to stay away from.

One of my oldest and dearest friends gave me a huge gift many years ago. I was confessing, with great shame, my horrible money secrets. He reacted with no feelings, like we were discussing a math problem. My shame and misery fell away, and money turned into energy, like electricity. Clean, pure energy, flowing in and flowing out, pooling here and there. What a transformation.

Why do I have a happy, peaceful, relationship with money? Why is my relationship with money so fruitful and fun? Why is money an expression of joy?

Choosing to enjoy our relationship with money softens up a lot of things for a lot of us. As we change the way we think of money, from power to energy, for example, or from violence to love, we will alter our relationship with the things we purchase, or sell.

Choosing to see our relationship with money as a celebration, as an endless course of gratitude-makers, as a vital and positive complement to our life, we shift our relationship with the people whom we have given financial power over us. Parents, spouses, bosses, customers, debtors, all can leave us feeling financially overwhelmed.

When we reframe our relationship with money, we can free ourselves from the feelings and negative thoughts we used put on those particular relationships. That frees up a ton of energy we can use to bring more money into our lives in positive and loving ways.

How have I changed from having an unpleasant relationship with money, to loving my financial interactions?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 09182013