Choosing Happiness

Choosing Happiness

What an interesting choice I made back in the day when I decided to choose happiness. I find it kind of poignant that, when I made my grand and dramatic declaration of intent, I had no idea what happiness was, what I would need to do to get there, and how much more wonderful it was than ever I dreamed.

I was just tired of feeling bad all the time.

Little by little, I was able to start paying attention,and noticing when I felt good. And then noticing what I did that made me feel good. Trauma by trauma, incident by incident, I began to clean out my past. Each thing I let go of, each thing I worked through, made more room for joy, made the path to my perfect self a little easier to navigate.

What makes me feel good? How am I nurtured? What makes me comfortable?

I used so many different techniques to clean up my stuff. There is not one right way. You need to find the ones that work best for you.

And if you want to be happy, you need to do this. Why would I choose to be happy?

When we ignore our own past, we are setting ourselves up for really interesting times.

Old patterns will replay over and over and over. Look for your “why does X always happen” things for examples of what I’m talking about.

We may find ourselves screaming at current loved ones about things we should be saying to people from our deep history.

Anxiety reactions and phobic responses are both very often based on ancient personal traumas. Curiously, so are many allergies.

I had a thing about phones ringing late at night. I would get so anxious I could hardly breathe. My hands shook like crazy and my heart pounded. I took to unplugging the phone. Imagine my relief when I discovered the single incident that happened when I was ten that scared me so much, and resolved it. Now, I just don’t like the phone ringing in the middle of the night, but it’s no longer traumatic. (I used hypnosis. It took 20 minutes.)

I had nightmares that would have made Stephen King itch.

Point is, if we don’t address the topics from our past that need addressing, we are likely to be living in our own version of “Groundhog Day,” replaying the same events over and over and feeling like we are just horribly unlucky, and longing to be happy and not getting there.

My most recent triumph has been the releasing of about 25% of my physical stuff from my home. I’d wanted to for ages, but something was in my way. Actually, several things. I got them rooted out, and used Creative Questions, “Why is it so fun and easy to clear my home?” as an example.

Each of us has something to clean up, some of us more than others. It is worth it. You are worth it. This life, of feeling loved, of being happy and peaceful, of loving with all my heart, of satisfying work, of daily joys, is so pleasant. Being relaxed, no worries, falling asleep feeling peaceful, these are benefits that cannot be dismissed.

How have I changed from ignoring my past to cleaning it up with an open and loving heart?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 09/27/2013

You, the Creative Genius

You, the Creative Genius

One of my very most favorite things about being a human is being creative. Now, I will say that I am a very creative person. You are, too. We often discount our creativity because we don’t think of the channels where we use it as being creative channels.

What the heck am I talking about, you ask?

Well, like so many other things, the more we use our creativity, the more creativity we get. I’ve been writing to you every day for nineteen months. I wouldn’t have thought I could before I did. Here, my creative mind is a huge asset, and cultivating it in this arena makes me happy, and helps me stay focussed on what matters to me.

But we have places where our brilliant, creative minds do us a spectacular disservice.

Did you ever wonder how Stephen King came up with all those creepy, scary stories? If you think that he sat around in a lovely, cozy, sunny room with lemonade and cake, you're wrong. Poor Mr. King came up with those from his own, anxious worry, and terrible nightmares. He discovered that he felt some relief if he wrote them out.

He cultivated his anxiety and worry, and it almost killed him over and over. Poor Mr. King. At least he won fame and fortune, even if he was miserable.

When we are worrying, we are composing fictions. Unless we are writing it down and selling it for thousands of dollars, it is not benefiting us in the least. In fact, it is literally eating up our bodies. Worry, anxiety, and guilt are the cannibal emotions, devouring our physical bodies, our spirit bodies, our emotional bodies, and our mind.

They are the heartless, and heedless emo zombies. They make you feel like you are doing something productive, and don’t care that when they have killed you from within, they must find a new host body. There is always a new host body. Bwahahahahah!

Ok, I am being silly, but being creative in our worry and guilt is dumb. Stop it. And seriously, that’s what we have to do.

We can take ameliorating drugs, but they don’t change the thought habit, they only fuzz it up. It’s up to us to use our creativity to stop ourselves from going there.

I used a rubber band on my wrist and snapped it whenever I start into worry or anxiety. I would say, “Stop it!” outloud and then push my mind into something pleasant. I had to make lists of nice stuff to think about because I was so used to wallowing in dark, stinky places in my mind, and when I got into those places, there was no such thing as sunshine or joy.

When it’s the middle of the night, and you are lying in bed with the emo zombies chomping on your peace, and you can’t seem  stop them there, get up. It’s worth losing a little sleep to slay them. Make a list of things you are grateful for, or things you appreciate, or love, or things you like to do. Clean something, learn the words to a song you like, or a poem. I love you, but I cannot stop your emo zombies, only you can. Choose. Decide. Act.

By using our creative minds for good rather than for evil, we change our world at it’s innermost point, maybe by only one degree, but as that single degree moves out from that center, it encompasses more and more of our own life, and creates a happy and peaceful space for our loved ones and extended community as well. That’s means that when you choose to slay your zombies, you are saving the world.

You rock.

How have I changed from treating my emo zombies to the best of me, to using my creative genius to save the world?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 09212013

Your Trust Very Own Fund

Your Trust Very Own Fund

Old saws, there’s nothing like ‘em for packing a bunch of growing up into a pithy little pile of words. A stitch in time saves nine. It’s always darkest before the dawn. By convention hot, by convention cold.

One of my most favorites of all is, plan plans, not outcomes. Well, it is now. It sure didn’t used to be. Now, I have learned to trust, and what a weird row that was to hoe.

I would plan like crazy. And when the plans failed for some reason, I would kind of fall apart because I had counted my chickens before they hatched. I didn’t understand that you never step in the same river twice, and never mind that drama queens are always looking for dramatic possibilities.

I was really fortunate because one of my strongest characteristics has been a driving curiosity, and we all know that curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought her back.

Ok, that’s enough of that.

Once I got that all the planning in the world didn’t guarantee that  things work out, once I got that I could trust that I would know what to do, and could make whatever happened be okay, things started getting easier and I started to relax.

Oh, yeah, growing up is awesome.

When I decided to start assuming that things would work out, I was able to relax. Worry doesn’t fit into that pattern. If I assume that things will work out, I am trusting. I cannot trust and worry at the same time. I cannot trust and feel anxious at the same time, I cannot trust and be afraid, either.

So trusting frees up a lot of energy. It makes my organism way more efficient, if you wanna look at it that way. Or you can think of it as now I have a bunch of extra energy to use to figure out what makes this way that things have worked out, all for the good.

Sometimes, the answer is obvious. Other times, I need to find the good. It may be that it allows something else to happen, sometimes there is a lesson, or a nugget of information, or something altogether new and unexpected. Every cloud has a silver lining. My mission is to find it. And to expect it. That’s more trust.

Now, if you are paying attention, you will see a pattern emerging. A really important one. When I assume things will work out, I am adjusting my attitude. When I seek the silver lining, I am adjusting my attitude. This is subtle, I know, and sneaky, but it comes back again to the fundamental notion that my attitude, my point of view determines how I experience life.

The events of my life don’t determine it’s quality, my interpretation does.

I know some of you are chafing right now. It’s a heck of a responsibility to decide that I am in charge of how I feel about my life. But when I accept it, when I decide that I’m in charge, when I start looking for all the good my life is offering me, I am trusting.

Go for it, it’s always darkest before the dawn.

How have I changed from choose worry, anxiety, fear, and anger to trusting that things will always work out?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 09012103