Highs and Lows

Highs and Lows

A particular topic has come up in my space several times this week, as they do, and I drew the best card to let me talk about it, so I will.

The card I drew is, “Why am I happy?”

Happiness is not for the weak or faint of heart. Being happy in a world where the norm is grim is a daily challenge. Our culture worships fear and anger, nurtures depression and, for all it’s talk about wellness, lavishes attention on illness, suffering, and disease.

Happy people provide less profit. Misery is a better consumer. But I digress.

The topic that came up this week was pessimism and optimism.

Each side, if you will, thinks the other side is wrong. Each side feels a little smug about knowing the truth.

We always run into trouble when we deal in extremes. (Heh heh, did you notice that I used the word, “always?” Never do that. Heh heh, did it again.)

I am, for all my talk of happiness, not an optimist. I do not believe this the the best of all possible worlds. Nor am I a pessimist believing that the world is inherently evil. Maybe I am an opportunist, since I look for opportunities. Or maybe I will mint a new word and call myself an appreciationist, starting my morning with a nice little list of appreciations. But I digress.

I am quite capable of thinking thoughts so horrible that Mr. King would blench. When I do that, I feel bad. I don’t know about you, but I don’t particularly like to feel bad. I would, most of the time, rather feel good.

It’s not ethics or ethos. It’s not morality or being right, it’s physiology. Thoughts are energy. They vibrate, if you will, at various frequencies. When I am thinking crappy thoughts, they vibrate low. Low vibrations correlate with emotions like fear, anger, disgust, contempt. When I am thinking uplifting thoughts, they vibrate high. High vibrations correlate with happiness.

When I am all frowny, or slumpy, or, to use a phrase that’s making the rounds these days, have a bitch-face on, I will have a corresponding emotional response, which, in turn, will create icky feelings.

When I think of things that make me smile, when I am uplifted, I have a corresponding emotional response, and corresponding feeling of well being.

Physiology. Why would I choose to feel good?

Remembering that the cultural norm is to feel bad is helpful to me because I like to feel like I’m bucking the system a bit. Remembering that of all the fundamental seven emotions; angry, sad, happy, scared, surprised, disgusted, contemptuous; only one is light, is helpful to me because I like a little challenge.

Happiness is a grownup emotion. Are you mature enough to handle happiness?

How have I changed from wallowing in low vibrations to revelling in high vibrations?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 11052013

Your Trust Very Own Fund

Your Trust Very Own Fund

Old saws, there’s nothing like ‘em for packing a bunch of growing up into a pithy little pile of words. A stitch in time saves nine. It’s always darkest before the dawn. By convention hot, by convention cold.

One of my most favorites of all is, plan plans, not outcomes. Well, it is now. It sure didn’t used to be. Now, I have learned to trust, and what a weird row that was to hoe.

I would plan like crazy. And when the plans failed for some reason, I would kind of fall apart because I had counted my chickens before they hatched. I didn’t understand that you never step in the same river twice, and never mind that drama queens are always looking for dramatic possibilities.

I was really fortunate because one of my strongest characteristics has been a driving curiosity, and we all know that curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought her back.

Ok, that’s enough of that.

Once I got that all the planning in the world didn’t guarantee that  things work out, once I got that I could trust that I would know what to do, and could make whatever happened be okay, things started getting easier and I started to relax.

Oh, yeah, growing up is awesome.

When I decided to start assuming that things would work out, I was able to relax. Worry doesn’t fit into that pattern. If I assume that things will work out, I am trusting. I cannot trust and worry at the same time. I cannot trust and feel anxious at the same time, I cannot trust and be afraid, either.

So trusting frees up a lot of energy. It makes my organism way more efficient, if you wanna look at it that way. Or you can think of it as now I have a bunch of extra energy to use to figure out what makes this way that things have worked out, all for the good.

Sometimes, the answer is obvious. Other times, I need to find the good. It may be that it allows something else to happen, sometimes there is a lesson, or a nugget of information, or something altogether new and unexpected. Every cloud has a silver lining. My mission is to find it. And to expect it. That’s more trust.

Now, if you are paying attention, you will see a pattern emerging. A really important one. When I assume things will work out, I am adjusting my attitude. When I seek the silver lining, I am adjusting my attitude. This is subtle, I know, and sneaky, but it comes back again to the fundamental notion that my attitude, my point of view determines how I experience life.

The events of my life don’t determine it’s quality, my interpretation does.

I know some of you are chafing right now. It’s a heck of a responsibility to decide that I am in charge of how I feel about my life. But when I accept it, when I decide that I’m in charge, when I start looking for all the good my life is offering me, I am trusting.

Go for it, it’s always darkest before the dawn.

How have I changed from choose worry, anxiety, fear, and anger to trusting that things will always work out?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 09012103