Highs and Lows

Highs and Lows

A particular topic has come up in my space several times this week, as they do, and I drew the best card to let me talk about it, so I will.

The card I drew is, “Why am I happy?”

Happiness is not for the weak or faint of heart. Being happy in a world where the norm is grim is a daily challenge. Our culture worships fear and anger, nurtures depression and, for all it’s talk about wellness, lavishes attention on illness, suffering, and disease.

Happy people provide less profit. Misery is a better consumer. But I digress.

The topic that came up this week was pessimism and optimism.

Each side, if you will, thinks the other side is wrong. Each side feels a little smug about knowing the truth.

We always run into trouble when we deal in extremes. (Heh heh, did you notice that I used the word, “always?” Never do that. Heh heh, did it again.)

I am, for all my talk of happiness, not an optimist. I do not believe this the the best of all possible worlds. Nor am I a pessimist believing that the world is inherently evil. Maybe I am an opportunist, since I look for opportunities. Or maybe I will mint a new word and call myself an appreciationist, starting my morning with a nice little list of appreciations. But I digress.

I am quite capable of thinking thoughts so horrible that Mr. King would blench. When I do that, I feel bad. I don’t know about you, but I don’t particularly like to feel bad. I would, most of the time, rather feel good.

It’s not ethics or ethos. It’s not morality or being right, it’s physiology. Thoughts are energy. They vibrate, if you will, at various frequencies. When I am thinking crappy thoughts, they vibrate low. Low vibrations correlate with emotions like fear, anger, disgust, contempt. When I am thinking uplifting thoughts, they vibrate high. High vibrations correlate with happiness.

When I am all frowny, or slumpy, or, to use a phrase that’s making the rounds these days, have a bitch-face on, I will have a corresponding emotional response, which, in turn, will create icky feelings.

When I think of things that make me smile, when I am uplifted, I have a corresponding emotional response, and corresponding feeling of well being.

Physiology. Why would I choose to feel good?

Remembering that the cultural norm is to feel bad is helpful to me because I like to feel like I’m bucking the system a bit. Remembering that of all the fundamental seven emotions; angry, sad, happy, scared, surprised, disgusted, contemptuous; only one is light, is helpful to me because I like a little challenge.

Happiness is a grownup emotion. Are you mature enough to handle happiness?

How have I changed from wallowing in low vibrations to revelling in high vibrations?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 11052013

I Really Appreciate You

I Really Appreciate You

A dear and brilliant friend started posting daily appreciations last year. What a joy they were to read, and what a triumph to witness, as serious health issues arose for her and her husband, that  she continued to post heartfelt gratitude each day. I feel uplifted and inspired by her words everyday, and by her courage in staying appreciative.

Another dear and brilliant friend has had a group of friends who emailed each other things they were grateful for each day.

Several friends keep gratitude journals.

There are so many ways to establish a habit of expressing our gratitude, but they all have something in common, namely, they serve to raise our vibration.

Now, I know that “vibration” is woowoo talk, and I work at staying away from woowoo talk here. But, if you have ever been around big, low vibration sounds, you may have noticed something.

I got it first in a small discotheque many years ago. I’d gone dancing with friends, paid my cover, and drank water, not liquor or even soda pop. The space was tiny, and the speakers were great, but my spot was right in front of the big booming bass. It took about an hour, and I was out back puking up my water. The next time I went, it  happened again, and then I made a point of staying as far away from those speakers.

We don’t usually say, “Oh, I love heavy metal! It makes me feel so light and happy!”

If I want to feel light and happy, it will help if I move toward light and cheerful and away from dark and low.

So, what is dark and low? Chronic complainers, that is, people who don’t expend energy improving their situation, only rehearsing how awful it is. The News. The News is meant to make us feel bad so we buy stuff. Grim movies or books, dark tales of abuse or torture. Focusing on feelings of anger or grief or fear.

Those feelings come up for all of us. What we do when they do can make a huge difference in our “vibration.”

To keep things flowing, I need to experience my feelings, not necessarily to express them. When I accept how I feel, and let it flow through me, I find that I’m often finished with it in moments. And then, if I pause for a bit and appreciate the feeling, or the simple emotion, I find that I can enjoy those emotions that used to suck up my life,

Accepting, appreciating, and allowing will all help me to feel lighter. When I accept what is going on, I’m not necessarily liking it. That is, I can appreciate where I’m at without wanting to spend my life here.

By noticing what I am grateful for, by appreciating the world around me, by expressing my thanks, several things happen. I need to be in touch with my feelings to recognize the sensations of gratitude. I have to be aware to notice stuff to be grateful for. I need to have some sense of connection to tell you I appreciate you, and what you did for me.

Now if I just add relax relax relax to that, I’m going to have a pretty nice day.

How have I changed from feeling shut down to being aware of my gratitude?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 08242013