Becoming an Appreciationist

I don’t think of myself as an optimist, someone who sees the glass half full. I am certainly not a pessimist who sees the glass half empty. I am an appreciationist who rejoices in having a glass. Not only can I drink from it, and share drink with you, but I can use my glass to hold ice cream, cut out biscuits, trace big circles onto things, and make polka dots, a place to root plants, a temporary place for bugs, stash my gold coins, well, you see what I’m getting at.

Lavish, luscious, sumptuous, opulent, plush.

The opposite of love, they say, is fear. It is also the opposite of trust, of positivity, maybe even of living. Fear devours our spirit little bite by little bite, and leaves us worried, anxious, guilty, angry, and sad. It grips us by the throat, roils our stomachs, squeezes our lungs, and steals our sleep.

We can unchoose it.

Why am I positive? Why can I trust? What makes me confident?

When I remember that I can change my feelings as easily as changing my socks, my life gets better. I can unchoose being annoyed. I can unchoose being scared or worried. I can unchoose feeling bad. I can do that because I am responsible for my thoughts, my emotions, my behavior.

I can choose to trust. I can choose to trust that I will find a solution, a resolution, a way out. I can choose to trust that there is a silver lining, and I can find it. I can choose to trust that I can change my ways. I can choose to trust that I can have all the support I need.

When I am feeling lost or scared, or lonely, or dark, or something like that, I can choose to remember than I am an appreciationist. I can find things that matter to me. I can find things I like. I can find things that I enjoy.

Here’s a little secret I will share with you.

When I am feeling kind of stuck, choosing gratitude can break that up pretty fast. Sometimes, for me, gratitude is easier to get to than relaxed, peaceful, or happy. Part of that is, for all my stuff, I own that my life is nice. I have seen enough to know that, even at its worst, my life still had things in it I could appreciate.

Why am I so positive? Why can I trust? What makes me confident?

I have made amazing progress in my life. I have worked through stuff, moved beyond stuff, overcome stuff. One of the most important reasons that I have been able to do that is because I found trustworthy teachers to trust. And then I trusted them, and did what they told me to do. Not one hundred percent, but way more than half.

When I have needed a teacher, a trustworthy teacher, one has always come along. Sometimes, twice, maybe, I’ve had a teacher who turned out not to be trustworthy, but the painful lesson brought me to a much better place. I trust that I am here to grow, to evolve, to really live a life of joy, and bliss, and connection, creativity, peace, satisfaction. I believe that you can have a life like that, too. Why can we choose to live our natural lives?

How have I changed from a glass half full or half empty to rejoicing in having a glass?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2014 all rights reserved 04012014

If you found something here to like, to inspire, or to question, please + or share. Thanks. How do you feel when you are appreciated?

Highs and Lows

Highs and Lows

A particular topic has come up in my space several times this week, as they do, and I drew the best card to let me talk about it, so I will.

The card I drew is, “Why am I happy?”

Happiness is not for the weak or faint of heart. Being happy in a world where the norm is grim is a daily challenge. Our culture worships fear and anger, nurtures depression and, for all it’s talk about wellness, lavishes attention on illness, suffering, and disease.

Happy people provide less profit. Misery is a better consumer. But I digress.

The topic that came up this week was pessimism and optimism.

Each side, if you will, thinks the other side is wrong. Each side feels a little smug about knowing the truth.

We always run into trouble when we deal in extremes. (Heh heh, did you notice that I used the word, “always?” Never do that. Heh heh, did it again.)

I am, for all my talk of happiness, not an optimist. I do not believe this the the best of all possible worlds. Nor am I a pessimist believing that the world is inherently evil. Maybe I am an opportunist, since I look for opportunities. Or maybe I will mint a new word and call myself an appreciationist, starting my morning with a nice little list of appreciations. But I digress.

I am quite capable of thinking thoughts so horrible that Mr. King would blench. When I do that, I feel bad. I don’t know about you, but I don’t particularly like to feel bad. I would, most of the time, rather feel good.

It’s not ethics or ethos. It’s not morality or being right, it’s physiology. Thoughts are energy. They vibrate, if you will, at various frequencies. When I am thinking crappy thoughts, they vibrate low. Low vibrations correlate with emotions like fear, anger, disgust, contempt. When I am thinking uplifting thoughts, they vibrate high. High vibrations correlate with happiness.

When I am all frowny, or slumpy, or, to use a phrase that’s making the rounds these days, have a bitch-face on, I will have a corresponding emotional response, which, in turn, will create icky feelings.

When I think of things that make me smile, when I am uplifted, I have a corresponding emotional response, and corresponding feeling of well being.

Physiology. Why would I choose to feel good?

Remembering that the cultural norm is to feel bad is helpful to me because I like to feel like I’m bucking the system a bit. Remembering that of all the fundamental seven emotions; angry, sad, happy, scared, surprised, disgusted, contemptuous; only one is light, is helpful to me because I like a little challenge.

Happiness is a grownup emotion. Are you mature enough to handle happiness?

How have I changed from wallowing in low vibrations to revelling in high vibrations?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 11052013