Choosing Happiness

Choosing Happiness

What an interesting choice I made back in the day when I decided to choose happiness. I find it kind of poignant that, when I made my grand and dramatic declaration of intent, I had no idea what happiness was, what I would need to do to get there, and how much more wonderful it was than ever I dreamed.

I was just tired of feeling bad all the time.

Little by little, I was able to start paying attention,and noticing when I felt good. And then noticing what I did that made me feel good. Trauma by trauma, incident by incident, I began to clean out my past. Each thing I let go of, each thing I worked through, made more room for joy, made the path to my perfect self a little easier to navigate.

What makes me feel good? How am I nurtured? What makes me comfortable?

I used so many different techniques to clean up my stuff. There is not one right way. You need to find the ones that work best for you.

And if you want to be happy, you need to do this. Why would I choose to be happy?

When we ignore our own past, we are setting ourselves up for really interesting times.

Old patterns will replay over and over and over. Look for your “why does X always happen” things for examples of what I’m talking about.

We may find ourselves screaming at current loved ones about things we should be saying to people from our deep history.

Anxiety reactions and phobic responses are both very often based on ancient personal traumas. Curiously, so are many allergies.

I had a thing about phones ringing late at night. I would get so anxious I could hardly breathe. My hands shook like crazy and my heart pounded. I took to unplugging the phone. Imagine my relief when I discovered the single incident that happened when I was ten that scared me so much, and resolved it. Now, I just don’t like the phone ringing in the middle of the night, but it’s no longer traumatic. (I used hypnosis. It took 20 minutes.)

I had nightmares that would have made Stephen King itch.

Point is, if we don’t address the topics from our past that need addressing, we are likely to be living in our own version of “Groundhog Day,” replaying the same events over and over and feeling like we are just horribly unlucky, and longing to be happy and not getting there.

My most recent triumph has been the releasing of about 25% of my physical stuff from my home. I’d wanted to for ages, but something was in my way. Actually, several things. I got them rooted out, and used Creative Questions, “Why is it so fun and easy to clear my home?” as an example.

Each of us has something to clean up, some of us more than others. It is worth it. You are worth it. This life, of feeling loved, of being happy and peaceful, of loving with all my heart, of satisfying work, of daily joys, is so pleasant. Being relaxed, no worries, falling asleep feeling peaceful, these are benefits that cannot be dismissed.

How have I changed from ignoring my past to cleaning it up with an open and loving heart?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 09/27/2013