Ways to Be My Own Best Friend

Ways to Be My Own Best Friend

I bet you’ve noticed that we have a number of recurring themes in this space. One of them is the whole idea of filters. Other ways we talk about it out in the world are the Law of Attraction, or like begets like. The simple idea is that we get what we ask for, even if we don’t recognize that we are asking for it.

It’s a sneaky thing. Sometimes what we are getting is horrible, and why in the name of all that is holy would we ask for that? And we get mad as heck and say it’s a lie, but it keeps on happening.

What would it mean if it were true, that we get what we ask for and we are somehow asking for crap?

What would it mean if the rotten stuff that keeps on happening is happening because it is a pattern for us?

What would it mean if the icky, uncomfortable places we keep finding ourselves came from inside ourselves?

When I finally got this, I was so happy. If I am causing my misery, out of habit, or horrible patterns, and it’s not fate or some pre-ordained awfulness, then I can change it. Hallelujah! I can really be a good friend to myself.

This is the genesis of freedom. What makes me my own best friend? What makes me take me seriously? How do I know I am responsible for my stuff? How can I help me?

When I own that I am the creator of my life, I have the power to root out my unconscious thoughts, habits, and patterns that are creating a life that is hard to live. Why do I choose to know all of who I am?

When I own that I am the creator of my life, I can bring my dank and sticky emo junk into the light, and clear it out. Why do I let go?

When I own that I am the creator of my life, I can create a fecund space for my beautiful dreams to realize, and my nightmares to shrivel into nothingness. How do I get what I want?

One of my most beloved teachers said to me at least a thousand times, “You do know.”

I really hated it, because on the one hand, she was right, and on the other hand, sometimes I was resisting knowing so much that I couldn’t get there.

Using Creative Questions really helps me when I encounter my resistance places. Do you wanna know how?

First, I identify the Creative Question that I am feeling resistance to. I write that question down. For example, let’s say that I’m having resistance to the question, “Why is it so easy?”

When I ask the question, I think, “NO!” so I write that down next to the question, and on a new line I write the question again, and my response again, until I start getting neutral, and then positive responses.

Sometimes, I will use a drill-down technique, that is, when I ask, “Why is it so easy?” and get a “no,” then I ask “Why could it be so easy?” If I get a response like “it’s not, it’s hard.” Then I will ask, “Why is it hard?” Because life is hard. Why is life hard? Because I am bad. Why am I bad? Because I hurt my mom when she gave birth to me.

Now I have something to work with, something to clean up, and I can dump the guilt, and feeling like I’m not good enough, and like I always hurt people.

How have I changed from getting what my unconscious mind wants to getting what I want?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 09252013