The Wonderful Surprise

The Wonderful Surprise

Do you have any idea what a difference you make? Do you have any idea what sort of an impact you have on the people around you?

Your contributions are uniquely yours, you know. The basic task may be one thing, but you bring something special to it, and we value that, even if we don’t say so.

Getting to know you is fun, too, because you’ve led an interesting life, you have interesting thoughts about things, and you are just fun to be around.

Do you know that? Do you appreciate those qualities in yourself? If you stop for a moment, and really look at yourself, do you see the wonderful gift you are? Do you see the contributions you make to the world?

Why do you enjoy and appreciate your own company?

So many of us don’t. We find ourselves saying awful things to ourselves, a constant thrum of negative emotional judgments on ourselves. We are often repeating horrible things we heard as children, not even directed at us, but things that seemed like they might apply. We may not even be aware that our internal dialog is so negative; sometimes it’s just out of our conscious awareness.

So we slow down a bit. We take some time to breathe, to relax, to notice the kind of trash talk we are ladling onto our own heads, and we turn it around. Maybe we take some time to think about stuff we like about ourselves. What makes me like me?

Sometimes, we pretend that we like ourselves. That takes it to another level. We need to notice that we are pretending, and then we can start to heal our relationship with ourselves.

Sometimes, we hate ourselves, and project that hatred out onto the world, perhaps onto our family, or our community, or some random group of people. And we blame them for our feelings.

As we grow up, we find ourselves more and more willing, even eager, to take responsibility for ourselves. As we grow up, we find ourselves feeling more respect for what we’ve overcome, for what we’ve changed, for what we’ve accomplished. This makes us feel more forgiving of ourselves, too, and by forgiving our own selves, we cease to blame the outside world for our errors.

This brings us to our natural life; a life of easy, serenity, satisfaction. A life we feel engaged in, a life we enjoy regardless of the circumstances we encounter. A grownup life.

I don’t live there all the time. I don’t know that anyone does. But I hold it in my heart, I remember to choose when I can, I remember that, when I feel bad I’m running old patterns and habits, and that I have the power to change. I remember that I like me, I like what I do, I like my choice in friends, I like how I am with my family, I like the freedom and joy I get being a grownup who is responsible for me and to you.

How have I changed from criticizing me to recognizing that I am a gift?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 09092013