Go, Man, Go

Go, Man, Go

One of the things I take for granted is my level of energy, my stamina, my gung-ho-ism. I kind of noticed it this morning as I was thinking about writing my daily appreciation. (Did I tell you that I’ve been doing that each morning? Kind of a nice way to start the day.)

I haven’t always had a lot of energy for fun stuff like I do now. I know now that I had a lot of energy back then, but I burned it up on stuff like pretending everything was okay when it really wasn’t, like holding onto incomplete experiences that left me traumatized, and with really bad habits, like internal dialogs that were all about how much I sucked, whingeing all day long, moping, heaving heavy sighs, aching and weeping. Well, it was all in a day’s work; feeling miserable takes a lot of effort, and that means energy. And, because one of my favorite hobbies was worrying, I didn’t sleep much, or well. On the bright side, it meant that I could always at least complain about being exhausted.

What makes me strong and vibrant?

I’ve had some really wonderful teachers who helped me get rid of a lot of my old, unfinished business; old hurts and betrayals, injustices, abuses; and something amazing happened each time. Each time I dumped a bit of my old story, I reclaimed a bit of energy.

Why do I radiate health?

The same way I can’t hold your hand  when mine is full of stuff, I can’t use my energy for fun if I’m using it up holding onto a lot of old pain. And, frankly, I’d rather deal with my stuff and then go play.

Why do I choose to release my story and live free?

So, I’ve used methods where I remembered and released, and other methods where I just released, and then I found ways to change my old behavior so I wasn’t just falling back into the old habits.

That last bit is hugely important. It’s why so many of us struggle over and over with trying to change. When I want to change the one big bad habit, I also have a bunch of little habits that support it. It makes changing the one big bad habit so much easier when I’ve identified the little ones.

For example,if I get home, go straight upstairs and turn on the TV, chances are excellent that I will do almost nothing else all evening.  I get a lot done when I get home and don’t immediately go upstairs. If I can spend even just ten minutes downstairs fiddling around, I tend to feel like I wanna do things instead of flop.  Weird, but it works for me.

I’m learning to see my little habits that support my big bad habits. I will tell you this, it is way easier to address a bunch of those little ones than to white-knuckle the big ones. Creative Questions are such a good way to tackle the little ones. I love to use the “How have I changed frrom X to Y?” for those, and to use the “What makes me X?” question helps me find useful motivations.

How have I changed from holding onto my old stuff to feeling energized and free?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 09112013