Go, Man, Go

Go, Man, Go

One of the things I take for granted is my level of energy, my stamina, my gung-ho-ism. I kind of noticed it this morning as I was thinking about writing my daily appreciation. (Did I tell you that I’ve been doing that each morning? Kind of a nice way to start the day.)

I haven’t always had a lot of energy for fun stuff like I do now. I know now that I had a lot of energy back then, but I burned it up on stuff like pretending everything was okay when it really wasn’t, like holding onto incomplete experiences that left me traumatized, and with really bad habits, like internal dialogs that were all about how much I sucked, whingeing all day long, moping, heaving heavy sighs, aching and weeping. Well, it was all in a day’s work; feeling miserable takes a lot of effort, and that means energy. And, because one of my favorite hobbies was worrying, I didn’t sleep much, or well. On the bright side, it meant that I could always at least complain about being exhausted.

What makes me strong and vibrant?

I’ve had some really wonderful teachers who helped me get rid of a lot of my old, unfinished business; old hurts and betrayals, injustices, abuses; and something amazing happened each time. Each time I dumped a bit of my old story, I reclaimed a bit of energy.

Why do I radiate health?

The same way I can’t hold your hand  when mine is full of stuff, I can’t use my energy for fun if I’m using it up holding onto a lot of old pain. And, frankly, I’d rather deal with my stuff and then go play.

Why do I choose to release my story and live free?

So, I’ve used methods where I remembered and released, and other methods where I just released, and then I found ways to change my old behavior so I wasn’t just falling back into the old habits.

That last bit is hugely important. It’s why so many of us struggle over and over with trying to change. When I want to change the one big bad habit, I also have a bunch of little habits that support it. It makes changing the one big bad habit so much easier when I’ve identified the little ones.

For example,if I get home, go straight upstairs and turn on the TV, chances are excellent that I will do almost nothing else all evening.  I get a lot done when I get home and don’t immediately go upstairs. If I can spend even just ten minutes downstairs fiddling around, I tend to feel like I wanna do things instead of flop.  Weird, but it works for me.

I’m learning to see my little habits that support my big bad habits. I will tell you this, it is way easier to address a bunch of those little ones than to white-knuckle the big ones. Creative Questions are such a good way to tackle the little ones. I love to use the “How have I changed frrom X to Y?” for those, and to use the “What makes me X?” question helps me find useful motivations.

How have I changed from holding onto my old stuff to feeling energized and free?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 09112013

Doing What I Like, Liking What I Do

Doing What I Like, Liking What I Do

Oh, the joy of doing! I love to do. The world is fair to bursting with fun stuff to do, and somedays I wish I could do all of it.

Back in the olden days, I slept very little, so I could do more. And then I was discussing my plans for my first trip to Hong Kong. I said, “I don’t think I will sleep at all: I’m afraid I will miss something!” My friend said, “Even if you are awake twenty-four hours a day, you will always miss something.”

I still don’t sleep much when I travel, but I got it.

I have amazing powers, super powers. You do, too. Or at least we all have the potential for amazing super powers. The power of choice. The power of creativity. The power of relaxation. The power of trust, just to name a few. These are so worth cultivating. When you have control over these, not only will your own life change, but you will have a wonderful impact on the people around you. Hot dog!

One of my favorite super powers is the power of judgment. I’m not talking about negative emotional judgment, you know, the one that looks at that person over there with scorn. I’m talking about positive emotional judgment.

Exercising my positive emotional judgment grants me freedom. And I love feeling free. Warren Buffet and I both have the same number of hours in a day. Mother Teresa did, too. Some days I am thrilled to spend them lazing about reading and petting cats for hours. But I also have things to do.

When I am at my Clark Kent job, I do a lot of reframing to make my tasks enjoyable. Sometimes I look at them as meditations. Sometimes I think of them as service work. Somedays I’m just bored to numbness. Yeah, still working on it.

Then I have the not-at-work time, with time I get to decide about. Of the three million things I could right now, what will I derive the most satisfaction from? I’ve spent time on what I am best at, where my gifts lay, which is why I can write to you every day. The hour or so I spend each day to write this is a valuable and worthwhile use of my time.

Playing solitaire on my phone isn’t so much. Watching TV, also not very worthwhile. Like candy bars for the spirit, fun at the time, maybe not so much in the long term.

In comes my super power of positive emotional judgment. If I feel tired everyday, a good judgment is to go to bed a bit earlier. If I feel better when I practice my qigong daily, a good judgment is to practice every day. If I feel worse when I eat a lot of sugar, a good judgment is to enjoy a different snack. If spending time with someone leaves me feeling angry and defensive, a good judgment is to spend time with someone else.

Practicing my positive emotional judgment on a regular basis keeps it all juiced up and ready to go for when I need to make bigger decisions. I will either be exercising my positive emotional judgment or my negative emotional judgment, so even just deciding which way I wanna go will help.

Over and over, the quality of our lives depend on the thousand tiny choices we make each day.

How have I changed from choosing poorly to choosing well?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 09072013

How to Put Out the Put Downs

How to Put Out the Put Downs

So many of us have a favorite put down we use on ourselves. We call ourselves “loser, screw up,” and worse, we tell ourselves that we can’t do anything right. We tell ourselves we that we are stupid. or lazy, or fat, or ugly. We talk to ourselves in such awful ways that it breaks my heart to think of it.

We can recite our failures with ease, but brush aside our successes with a casual wave of the hand. We mark our failures with even more negative behavior, like getting drunk or otherwise bingeing. And then, in addition to the first failure, we now feel like crap. Awesome.

We are asking, and answering, terrible creative questions. Remember, what makes a question a creative question is that the result is built into the question. So when we are asking questions like, “why am I such a loser?”, or “what’s wrong with me?”, I’m totally setting myself up.

It’s a funny way to think of it, but these are lifestyle questions. They set the tone for our decisions, our choices, our behavior. I know, it’s wacky. So, now the question is, do I want this lifestyle, where I am putting myself down, medicating myself, flirting with depression, or chronic anger, fear, dis-ease.

When I beat myself up, for whatever reason, I am not only doing myself a disservice, but also you, because I am spending all that energy on being awful instead of spending it on my wonderful gifts, gifts that benefit all of us.

How would I feel were I successful? How would I feel were I competent? How would I feel were I accomplished? Why do I live the lifestyle I want?

When we are making big changes with Creative Questions, we have a huge advantage over many other healing modalities for the simple reason that Creative Questions help us change the habit. And therein, my dear, is the gold.

When I am making big changes, I know that using my Creative Questions will support me in making the tiny changes I need to make to allow the big changes to take hold. When I am making big changes, the old habits run wide and deep, so I like to ask a nice variety of Creative Questions to pull up all those weeds, and make room for a good, solid foundation for my new life.

In many modalities, we can experience instant change, but we are screwed unless we can break the old habits that supported to old behavior, or the old circumstances. This is why so many of us fail with losing weight, and regain all we lost. We shed the fat, but not the underlying habits.

Why do I support my new body? How do I care for my body? Why am I so successful?

Why are you so successful? What makes you accomplished? How do you recognize that you are a winner?

When I choose to see myself as successful, competent, a winner, I behave differently. I carry myself differently, and you will see me differently. How cool is that. When we change our thoughts, we pull out new parts of ourselves, aspects of our personality that have patiently been waiting their turn to shine. And we will shine, we will feel successful, and we will be satisfied, happy, peaceful and enthusiastic about our lives.

How have I changed from thinking old, icky thoughts to choosing to see the best me?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 09062013