Oo, That’s Nice!

Oo, That’s Nice!

Oo! A two card draw, and two I bet most of us could use. This is gonna be important, so put on your listening ears, and your thinking caps, and be ready to share, cuz we can use all the good ideas we can get.

Why do I have pleasure? Why am I creative? How do I pamper me?

Everyone who has a bit of a challenge pampering yourself, raise your hand. Yeah. I thought so.

For many of us, the only way we seem to take care of ourselves requires getting sick or hurt. Then we feel like we can justify taking time away from our daily routine, to catch up on our sleep, or have some time alone in the house. It’s the only way we can nurture ourselves, soothe our souls, refresh our spirits. We treat everyone else better than we treat ourselves.

When we just plunk away at our routines week after month, we can end up feeling like a drudge, bored, resentful, and sad. We may be living the life we dreamed of, but when it’s the same old thing every day, even paradise can feel dull.

What inspires me? How do I feel refreshed? Why do I feel rejuvenated?

When I take some time, before I get sick, or distracted, to replenish my emotional reserves, it takes much less to leave me feeling refreshed.

So here’s the big question:  What refreshes you? How do you experience self-care? What makes you feel nurtured?

If you responded with an “I don’t know,” then you have some work to do, namely, to find some stuff that makes you feel cared for by your own self.

Walks, bubble baths, massages, a movie marathon with popcorn, a mani-pedi, mindful eating, mindful listening to your favorite music, playing in water, visiting an aquarium and watching fish swim, have a picnic, go to bed early in fresh bedding, aromatherapy, visit someplace new in your town. If you don’t spend much time with your friends, call one. If you are always connected, turn off your devices for an evening. Let folks know so they don’t freak out. Make a list of things you like about you. Read it out loud to yourself.

Those are a few ideas. Some of them just take a few minutes, but 5 minutes spent mindfully consuming a square of chocolate or delicious cup of something can make a huge difference in our stress levels, in our sense of connection to our own lives, in the level and quality of care we can give our loved ones. Even just taking deep, slow breaths, and really enjoying each inhale and each exhale, can go a long way to leaving us feeling like we care about our own selves.

Honor, respect, celebration; these are things we can give ourselves. Treating ourselves well is something we can incorporate into our daily routine, a few moments here, a something nice there. The biggest trick is to focus on that treat, to really experience it in the moment, to savor it, and to enjoy it fully. This may take some practice. So practice a bit each day. Set a timer if you need to. Remember, our soft addictions are not pampering, they are escapes, so pick things you don’t normally go to, at least to start.

How have I changed from feeling like a drudge to treating myself with nurturing respect?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2014 all rights reserved 05292014

The Friend in the Mirror

The Friend in the Mirror

Have you met my dear friend? She’s cool; smart, kind, generous, fun to hang around with. She’s got good ideas about stuff, too. I like how she takes care of herself, and her family, and communities, and her pets, I like how dedicated she is to the stuff she believes in. And I like that she treats me with respect and kindness, and goofiness.

I met her in the mirror.

Go look in the mirror your own self, I bet you could meet a wonderful friend there, too.

What a great place to practice being lovely with ourselves, in the mirror. So often, the way we talk to ourselves is full of negativity. We criticise, we nag, we scold. Imagine how we would feel if that friend in the mirror smiled at us, told us how good we look, wished us a nice day.

How do I feel when I am kind to myself?

When I treat myself kindly, I feel better. I feel loved, but there are other things, too. When I am kind to myself, I take good care of me. I feed me better, I move me around, like a nice walk, or some good stretches, maybe play with my hand weights, or dancing, because I know how much I love to dance. I show me lovely things, I dress me nicely. You see what I mean.

How do I feel when I treat me with respect?

When I am respectful to myself, I acknowledge my feelings, but don’t need to splash them around, because I’ve experienced them. It means I have way less apologizing to do.  When I am respectful to myself, I say “yes” better. When I am respectful to myself, I can decide what I will do, what makes the best use of my time for me and my family, and my other commitments. When I am respectful to myself, I know my limits.

How do I feel when I enjoy my own company?

When I enjoy my own company, I know what I like. I have opinions about things. I have taken the time to decide what I want, and I know that my goals are worth pursuing. When I enjoy my own company, I find value in spending some time by myself to meditate, or contemplate, to get to know me, to consider my world-view and to decide what I want to change.

How do I feel when I take care of me?

When I take care of me, I am aware of me. I am aware of my thoughts and feelings, I am aware of my body moving through my day and my space. I am aware of where I put my keys, wallet, and cell phone. I am aware of what I’m saying. I notice when I start to feel bad, and take measures to address it to bring me back. By taking care of me, I end up feeling good more and more of the time.

How do I feel when I am my best friend?

When I am my best friend, I trust me. I know I act in my best interests, with love and kindness. I will say “no” or “just do it now” or “choose something that makes you feel good” instead of encouraging me to squander my well being for a moment of gratification.

I will tell me things I might rather not hear, I will help me grow, and mature. I will help me deepen my other relationships,

Well, what a nice friend!

How have I changed from barely knowing the face in the mirror to loving it with all my hear?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 09022113

Nourishing Nurture

Nourishing Nurture

You can’t fill a glass from an empty pitcher, or so the saying goes. We have a lot of nourishing to do, too. We have our physical bodies, our emotional bodies, our mental bodies, and our spirit bodies. Each of them needs nourishment, of some sort or another. When we neglect ourselves, we throw ourselves out of balance. Our judgment gets weird, our emotions get weird, and crazy stuff seems normal.

Danger ahead.

Crazy stuff seems normal.

That is a hugely important thing to remember. Crazy stuff isn’t normal.

Indulging in negative fantasies isn’t nourishing. That means anxious thoughts, which are negative fantasies about the future, worry, guilt, which is often negative fantasies about the past, fearful thoughts, angry thoughts, these are damaging stuff. And we start to believe them, and base our actions and behaviors on them. Uh oh.

Crazy stuff seems normal.

Starving or binging isn’t nourishing. Trying to correct our bodies through ferocious exercise, or lying on the couch watching TV for hours isn’t nourishing. Depriving ourselves of wholesome rest isn’t nourishing. We start to think that feeling exhausted is normal, we begin to think that aches and pains are normal. We call it “aging” and think it’s normal.

Why would I feel good?

Our minds and spirits crave stimulation and challenge, and not just the challenge of how to get five hours of work done in three and a half. We need to be learning new stuff, we need to have time to contemplate the stuff we’ve learned, we need time to just be, to look at something beautiful, to consider the big questions.

Why do I enjoy down time?

We hear warnings all the time about how we need to spend more time taking care of other people, more time thinking about other people, less time thinking about ourselves.

Well, that’s true to a point. If I am stuck in a place where I am so absorbed by my misery, getting out and helping other people can be a godsend.

But if I am a caregiver already, that advice is crazy. And it can feed into a feeling that many of us have of not feeling good enough, or worthy, or deserving.  

Why am I good enough? Why am I worthy? Why do I deserve balance in my life?

How would a feast for our spirits look? How about a feast for our minds? What would a feast for our emotions feel like? Why do I like to feast?

How have I changed from thinking imbalance is normal to always feeling sustained?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 08212013