Taking the Conn

Taking the Conn

There are universal truths. They way you know you have found one is that it is true for everyone everywhere. People breathe to live. That is a universal truth, but did you know that there are scientifically documented cases of people who never eat or drink and are perfectly healthy? Amazing.

I believe that choice is a universal truth. I believe that we all can choose. I do think that many of us choose not to choose, and brother, does that make trouble for us!

In the course of a day, we make a thousand tiny choices. Each one of those choices points us in a direction. Is it a direction we want to travel in? Am I choosing activities and thoughts that support me or harm me? Am I choosing activities and thoughts that promote my goals and solidify my dreams, or hamper my progress? Do I even know what I want?

How do I know what I want?

I think it is remarkable how many of us don’t spend time thinking about what we want beyond, perhaps, very general things like good health, more money, nice relationships. If I don’t know what I want, chances are good I will be disappointed regularly, that sort of vague sense of dissatisfaction.

What stops us from deciding what we want? It can be a sense of resignation; I never get what I want anyway. We may have a feeling of not deserving, or of wanting too much. The thing is, we get what we put our energy into. If I spend time thinking about how I never have enough money, that is the ¨vibration¨ I put out and what I get back is not enough money. If I often think about how unhappy I am, I get back more of that feeling. If I am focused on not feeling well, I get more sick. We can call it the Law of Attraction, or we can think of it as just filtering our reality.

What happens if those thoughts are out of our consciousness? Creative Questions to the rescue! Because they are dynamic questions, they go to work on our unconscious minds. We can look at our results to see what the bad creative questions are that we are asking. We can then set up our new Creative Questions to get the results we want, but we do have to know what we want.

When I think about how I want more money, I could find a penny and that would count, but it’s not really what I mean. If I think, I want my income doubled, we have a measurable goal. That is something I can make a Creative Question from. I need to put the actual dollar amount in the Question. If I am making forty thousand dollars a year, I can start asking: Why am I making eighty thousand dollars a year? How am I making eighty thousand dollars a year? What makes me have an income of eighty thousand dollars a year.

If I am spending my time focusing on my aches and pains, that is what I am filtering for. The more attention I give them, the bigger they get. That’s how filtering works. I could use a Creative Question like, Why do I feel great? but that might not get me far enough away from attending to my discomfort. Asking a Question like, Why do I live a joyful and vibrant life? can get me deeper into living, helping me to focus on the activities that bring me joy. When I bump into objections, I will put the words would or could into the Question, Why would I be happy today? How could I feel joy today?

By paying attention to what we are choosing as we move through our daily lives, we can take charge of our thinking, and steer it into the directions we want to go. By spending a little time thinking about what we actually want, we can make those corrections much more easily.

How have I changed from drifting in dissatisfaction to directing my life as I choose?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2015 all rights reserved 08232015

Making the Worst of It

Making the Worst of It

One of the wonderful things that has changed since I decided to be happy is that I look for solutions instead of worrying my problems.

One of the things that is so fun about finding solutions is that it’s all about being creative, and that’s more fun than a crate of happy puppies.

One of the things that is so fun about being creative is that I make the rules. I can dream up anything, it doesn’t have to be possible, or real, or legal, it’s just made up.

How do I know I am creative? Why do I find solutions? What makes me choose?

In the olden days, I would get stuck in my own little pile of ick.I would poke around in it,rehearsing how icky it was. I would worry about whether it was going to get ickier. I would beat me up about getting stuck in the first place, I would get scared about what all that ick was going to do to me, I would get angry at me and say awful things about how I must deserve ick if that’s what I had.

All that energy I was using to support my ick sapped my motivation to do anything else. All that worrying got me so anxious I couldn’t sleep well, my digestion would get dicey, I would catch stuff like colds, and tended to spend my time mostly alone, or, if it was with people, I would complain with like-minded folks who were sitting in their own pile of ick.

One of the features of wallowing in my own mire is that I cannot be present and wallow. Huh. I wallow in a negative, nasty past, or I wallow in a mirky and stinky future. Generally speaking, the present moment is mostly kind of neutral.

One of the things that I love about coming up with solutions is that solutions are goals. We often need to make a plan, and carry it out, and achieve it. I love goals. It’s something to look forward to, a good reason to get out of bed and get moving. I love goals because keeping my goal, that thing I want, in mind, helps me stay focused so I spend less time frittering my hours away. I get things done.

The same way that we have to practice happiness, we have to practice misery. We have to choose it over and over. Many of us choose it to the point of depression. By deciding to exercise our creativity, we can start to come up with ways to unchoose misery. We can come up with creative ways to banish negative thoughts, we can come up with hobbies, that is, non-work occupations we can feel passionate about. Surfing the Internet, for example, is not a hobby. Nor is housework. or TV. Collecting, exploring, making stuff, learning a language or to play an instrument; these are hobbies.

By choosing to exercise my creativity for good, for my good and the good of my communities, I am expanding my life a bit. I am engaging a bit more. I am deepening my connections. When I choose to come up with solutions, I become more interested in other stuff, less self-obsessed. When I choose to play with new hobbies, I refresh my spirit. When I choose to create goals for myself, I feel energized and enthusiastic. Using my creativity like this makes it one of my super powers to be used for good. And that makes me feel happy.

How have I changed from creating misery for myself to creating the life I want to live?

© Pam Guthrie 2014 all rights reserved 11192014

H.A.L.T.

H.A.L.T.

Lately, I haven’t been thinking a lot about my goals. That’s okay, I have ‘em and there is probably time. Instead, I have been thinking about my commitments. One of the reasons is because my physical well-being has been so in my face lately, my spoons of NRG have changed so much, and I am finding that I just don’t give a rip about some stuff that matters when I feel differently.

Huh.

Some of my intentions have stayed strong. My intention to be present and aware. My intention for personal growth. My intention to positivity. My intention to teach. My intention to enjoy peace at my core. No trouble with those. They are pretty much habits now.

At the same time I am finding myself going through periods of feeling crummy. It may be queasiness, or muscle stuff, or apathy-inducing fatigue, or several other rather unpleasant experiences. This is the time for my commitments to shine. While I am making sure to get good rest, I also have cause to be up and at ‘em for at least several hours a day. Sometimes I will notice that I am all hunched over. Usually I am also, then, feeling down to go with the posture.

Why do I choose to be positive? Why do I choose to look at the bright side? How does my positivity serve me?

One of the things I am bringing a commitment to is my posture. When I am hunch-y, I feel hunch-y, crunchy, down in the mouth, and I notice every little thing that feels off or bad.

When I shift my posture to an uplifted stance I feel better. It is easier to notice what feels good. I can commit to feeling good even when I feel crummy. Good is relative in a bunch of ways. Instead of thinking, “Gah, I feel so crappy.” I can choose to ask, “How do I feel good today?” and shower my mind and body with a good Creative Question. It is a simple, mechanical fix that works.

When I am feeling crummy day after day, I can let it become a feature of my internal landscape, a new set-point so to speak, and riff off of that point. Maybe I don’t feel great compared to my pre-cancer days, but I can feel great relative to yesterday. Or this morning.

How do I choose to feel good? How am I healthy? What makes me resilient?

I can be aware of my posture, and remember that “upright and relaxed” will always improve my sense of well-being. If it’s available, getting sunshine in my eyes will also help, and often requires looking up. I don’t mean stare at the sun, but I do mean let it shine on your face, and indirectly flood your eyes.

I can remember the phrase, “H.A.L.T.” or “Never let yourself get too hungry, angry, lonely, or tired.” Any one of those can bring us down, and a combination of them can be devastating.

If my discomfort is being particularly annoying, getting into my head is a good way to take a break. A good book, or movie, or puzzle, or chat about anything other than how I’m feeling,  will often distract me enough so that I stop feeding the discomfort attention, which makes it stronger.

Being committed to things makes us creative, especially when our commitment is challenged. That creativity can often help us grow emotionally, giving us more confidence, a stronger sense of capability, a sense of being competent.

How have I changed from focusing on what I don’t want to making commitments for what I do want?

© Pam Guthrie 2014 all rights reserved 10142014

Creating the Big Picture

Creating the Big Picture

What do you want? The big picture thing, not just good coffee or some extra cash, but the look of your life? We hear this referred to as a goal, or our vision, or intentions. Perhaps we call it ambition.

This one can be a tricky one for many of us. We feel like we just don’t know, or that we have no ambitions. We kinda want our lives to be better, but we don’t even really know what that means for us.

Why do I know what I want? How do I choose? What makes me decide?

Back in the day, I thought that I would be happy if I had more money, was thinner, and had a sweetheart. I thought if I had a car, or nicer clothes, traveled more, or had a better job I would be happy. So I got those things, and I still wasn’t happy. I spent a lot of time wondering what was wrong with me.

Little by little I started to understand that my happiness came from inside, not from outside stuff. The outside stuff sometimes gave me resources, but never gave me happiness. I started to understand that the more relaxed and accepting I was of how things are right now, the happier I felt. And the more I did those things, the more I realized that I wanted to share my experience with you, to create a safe space where you could try on the things that worked for me. To give them to you freely, and as completely as I could.

I had a goal.

From the goal I built a vision, namely, to write to you, and put those writings out there. I started small; a few sentences every now and then about how to use Creative Questions, and what could happen if you did, how your life could get easier.

Why do I have goals? How do I create my vision? What makes me a role model?

When Arne Rantzen, the creator of the Creative Questions cards, invited me to write to you on the Creative Questions page on Facebook, my vision got clearer. I decided to write to you every day, and bit by bit these contemplations came about.

My vision grows clearer of what I want. One of the neat things about doing this every day is that, even though a lot of people see this each day, I am still just writing to you. That piece is important to me. I know Creative Questions and the contemplations work because they help me. I know they help you, because I hear from you. And many of you have gotten your own deck of Creative Questions cards to inspire you to try a new way, to do a new thing, to change your feelings, your attitude, your outlook. I can’t tell you how thrilling that is for me.

When we take the time to think about what we really want out of our lives in the next six months, the next year, the next five years, I put some shape to my day. I have things that are important to me, and maybe only me, but when I spend some time on those intentions, I feel accomplished. I celebrate my little achievements. And then I look back, and see that all those little achievements have made a big accomplishment. I feel successful. And I am a leader.

When we have a vision that we work on, we are leaders by example. As our lives improve, we are leading by example. When I calm down, lighten up, and find joy in my everyday life, I am leading by example.

How have I changed from feeling aimless to having aspirations?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2014 all rights reserved 08042014

Assessments

Assessments

Lately I have been paying a lot of attention to where I am committed. I used to wonder about that, until I came to recognize that all I had to do was look at my life. I have put together a list of questions that I use. Some are Creative Questions, some are for information gathering. I tend not to use them all at once, but to look at one or two from time to time, especially if I am not feeling all that on track.

Have I chosen to take responsibility for my life? Do I recognize that I am living the perfect life for where I am right now? Do I own that? Do I own that I am responsible for how I feel, for what I do, for where I am?

How do I feel? Am I peaceful? Am I content? Am I happy? Do I feel like I can choose? Have I changed from letting bad feelings run the show to choosing to feel good? Do I feel like I am living my natural life of easy and fun?

How do I occupy my time? Do I feel productive at the end of the day? Do I feel accomplished? Do I feel like I have made good choices? Have I changed from feeling like I waste a lot of time to deciding what I am doing?

Who do I spend time with? Do I feel a mutual support? Do I feel like we are working together? Do I feel challenged in a positive way? Have I changed from having friends I don’t like to being thrilled with the people I love?

How do I take care of myself? Do I feed me well and often enough? Do I drink enough? Do I enjoy moving my body every day? Do I get enough rest? Do I address my spiritual, financial, and social needs? Have I changed from putting myself last to being sure I am in good standing with me?

How do I feel in my environments? Am I comfortable? Do I feel peaceful? Is my space one that brings me joy? Have I changed from hating where I live/work/play to loving my environments?

How do I take care with my loved ones? Do I pay attention to them? Do I listen and remember what they tell me? Do I help and support them as I can? Have I changed from feeling annoyed by them to finding compassion and patience?

Have I set myself measurable goals? Do I spend  time on them regularly? Are they meaningful to me? Do I count my small successes as well as the big ones, and let myself feel successful? Have I changed from ignoring my accomplishments to savoring my good feelings?

Do I practice being aware of me, my stuff, my surroundings? Have I slowed down enough to keep track of my possessions like my car, keys, wallet and cellphone? Do I pay attention to my promises? Am I mindful of my actions? Do I notice when I am feeling distracted and pull myself back? Do I give myself some time to think?

Giving myself a little time from time to time to think about these things helps me move forward. It is especially useful for me if I am feeling stuck. I tend not to look at more than one or two at a time because if I do the whole thing I will often choose to beat myself up for being such a suck. May you find them useful.

How have I changed from being committed to things that do not support me to enjoying my best efforts?

(c) Pam 2014 all rights reserved 08032014

This Way, Please

This Way, Please

This was one of those things that blew me away, how important it is when it comes to growing up, that is. It seems like a light-weight topic, but knowing this can change your life, and make a big difference for your loved ones, and even make the world a better place.

Know what you want.

It seems like a simple thing, doesn’t it. And yet, many of us don’t have a clue.

We often barely know what we like.

So why does this matter, knowing what we want, knowing what we like? Well, if you find a magic lamp, and the genie offers you three wishes, what are you going to wish for? I mean, we’ve seen how it goes for people who’ve never really thought about it.

On the one hand, that’s just silly, Pam. On the other hand, our lives are filled with the equivalent of a genie all the time.

How do I know what I want? What makes me sure? Why do I express my ambitions?

So, I have a bunch of things I want, from material stuff to emotional goals, to career milestones, and so on. I think about these things, so they are up on my radar.

I look at my dreams, decide if I want them to be goals, and if I do, I make a plan, with manageable steps. And then watch out!

Call it the Law of Attraction, or Filtering, or whatever you like, keeping these things energized and active means that we are more likely to find opportunities to realize our dreams.

What makes my life meaningful? How do I feel when I am on purpose?

So, we are here in the world, with our special gifts, our talents and experiences, and now we have our goals, our plans, and the Universe will present us with someone who has a piece we need, or an opportunity to gain some experience that will help, or show us a story that allows us to streamline our plan. And because we are keeping our goals energized, we recognize and accept these gifts.

If you’ve been reading here for a while, you know that my first really big goal was to be happy. I was so low I didn’t really even know what I meant by that, but I kept it energized, and I tried things, I took recommendations, trainings, workshops. I asked questions like crazy, especially when I met people who seemed happy.

Energized.

If I were able to manifest to myself back into the day when I made that pledge, to feel how I feel now, I would probably pass out. The difference is at least night and day.

Making some time to think about what you want will make a difference. We don’t always need to come up with the how, not right away. Making a goal, making a plan with wiggle room, even making a vision board, or some other material reminder of our direction, will help us stay energized.

How have I changed from feeling aimless to choosing my path?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2014 all rights reserved 05012014

What are your favorite goals? I would love to hear about them, and help you come up with some good, supportive Creative Questions.

Please +1 and share, if you like what you find here. How do you feel when you make a difference?

Feeling and Doing

Feeling and Doing

Doing stuff is something we are all really good at. We are doing stuff all the time, important stuff, dumb stuff, stuff that moves us forward, stuff that passes the time. We can’t get away without doing stuff, but boyoboy, can doing get us in trouble.

Doing stuff, how we feel about the stuff we do, the judgments we make about the stuff we do, all come from out thoughts.

Verbing is neutral. We plunk value judgments on stuff all the time, based on our views of the world. We have ideas about what we consume, what we discard, we have ideas about hobbies, activities, jobs and occupations. We have ideas about how tasks should be done, even whether they should be done.

We have ideas about how we should express our spirit, our emotions, our physical presence, and these ideas often clash. We judge each other, praise each other, shame each other, laud each other.

Not only that, but we do the same; judge, praise, shame, and laud our own selves for the stuff we do. It’s like, what is the difference between a pass time and wasting time? Just the judgment.

How am I occupied? Why do I like what I do? What makes me feel productive? How am I satisfied?

Many of us work for a living, some of us are stay-at-home parents, or spouses. Some of us are retired, or in school, or looking for an occupation, but however it goes, we fill our days with doing.

Doing is a great way to progress toward our dreams and goals. Having dreams and goals is part of being a grownup. They give shape to our days, and bring satisfaction and contentment to our beings.

Doing is also a great way to avoid dealing with our internal lives.

Say, what?

Being busy lets us distract ourselves from our internal GPS, our feelings, that let us know what direction we are headed in. If we feel peaceful at our core, relaxed, and happy, we are on track. If we feel agitated, miserable, angry, for more than a few minutes, we may be off track.

Emotions flow through us like thoughts, like floating down a river. When we notice them, and experience them, they are done, completed, and we can move on to the next thing. Experiencing my anger isn’t the same thing as expressing it. Expressing it can often get me in trouble. Experiencing it will move me forward.

Why do I have my emotions? What makes me notice my feelings? Why am I clear?

Being busy, focused on doing doing doing, keeps my feet out of my feelings so to speak, and I end up shoving it into my unconscious mind, where it starts ricocheting off the walls of my mind. And that makes me feel nuts.

By choosing to do what I do mindfully, and with awareness, I can feel my feelings as they flow through my being. I can occupy my time with activities that I value. I can reach my goals, and make new ones, and go to bed feeling content and satisfied.

How have I changed from being a busy bee to being mindful of my activities?

(c) Pam Guthrie all rights reserved 02242014

Bloomin’ Happiness

Bloomin’ Happiness

Happiness. When we are depressed, we’ve never had it. When we aren’t it, we have all sorts of ideas about how to get it.

Sometimes it seems like stuff will make us happy, or mood-altering chemicals, either prescription or recreational. Or we think that the right relationship, or car, or house, or job, or boat, or children will do the trick.

Sometimes it does.

Mostly, it doesn’t. But we feel relief, and sometimes that seems like happiness for a little while. Or we feel a little manic, and after feeling so blase, that can seem like happiness.

When we look outside for our happiness, we will find a lot of things, maybe even treasure, but soul happiness isn’t out there.

How do I live in bliss?  What makes me joyful? Why am I thrilled?

There are steps we can take to make our happiness easier to get at. They are simple, if not always easy.

First off, we have to slow down and relax inside. Our outside lives may be crazy, but we don’t have to be. Being aware, noticing what we are doing and thinking, paying attention to where our bodies are, to how we feel, gives us room to breathe, room to respond rather than reacting. We are now running the show. Can’t do that when you’re going 90 miles a minute.

Why do I relax? What makes me serene? How do I feel when I am peaceful?

Second off, we have to have an idea of what we want. That’s a weird and simple thing about being a grownup. Grownups know what they want. We start out learning what we don’t want, but as we grow up, we start focusing on what we do want. Sometimes, you’ll hear this talked about as setting goals. All it means is that we have maybe three things we want to work on, let’s say wellness, savings, and a daily practice of some kind.

When we overload ourselves with goals, we will most likely fail at all of them. Keeping the list short gives us a fighting chance at improving our success rate. Goals are not the same thing as the todo list.

What makes me know what I want? How do I choose? Why do I decide?

Third off, we may have to let something go in order to achieve our inner happiness. Bad habits can get in the way big time; substance abuse, co-dependent relationships, bad jobs, dangerous living situations. We get used to them, they are familiar. Not comfortable, mind you, but familiar, and letting go of the familiar for the unknown is, um, interesting. But this is one of the reasons we have courage.

Why would I choose happiness? How could I choose to let go? What makes me step up?

Fourth off, we need to treat ourselves with gentleness and respect. When we do this, we create an environment conducive to nurturing happiness. This is a simple list; good food and water, blessing our bodies with movement, sleep, quiet time for contemplation and meditation, time with loved ones, nurturing spirit time, challenging and informing our minds.

Creating a space that nurtures our inner happiness is simple. The rewards are dazzling.

How have I changed from seeking happiness out there to creating the room inside for my happiness to blossom?

(c) 2014 Pam Guthrie all rights reserved 01282014

Going Your Own Way

Going Your Own Way

Have you written your manifesto? I like the word because I like to feel like I am a good manifestrix.

A manifesto is a written statement of goals and beliefs, perfect for we who are cleaning up our acts.

To write my manifesto, I need to know some stuff. I need to know what my goals are. On the one hand, thinking about my goals can make me roll my eyes, I mean, really, free spirits don’t have goals, they just live! They let life unfold before them. They live in the moment. Except that if I don’t have a good idea of where I want to go, I’ll end up somewhere else, and maybe not where I wanna be.

What makes me decide what I want? Why do I choose? How do I know I have preferences?

Thinking about what I do want is so worthwhile in a bunch of ways. When I am clear on what I want, and what I don’t want, I can let go of what I don’t want and put my energies towards what I want.

A clear goal is specific. “I wanna be rich” is not specific. “I will own a million dollars by my birthday in 2018,” That is specific. It has a how much and a by when.

We can do the same with any goal, just make it specific, and be sure to include a by when time.

One of the other things I need to include in my manifesto is some of my beliefs. It is especially helpful to include here things that I want to believe, but maybe haven’t quite accepted yet.

A good place to start is with your Creative Questions card deck. Flip through your deck and notice  the questions  where you get a bump. These are the questions where you have some resistance, the ones you can do a little work on.

When you have your list of goals and beliefs, you are ready to write. Use pen and paper, not the computer, to start. Writing with a pen is a very organic tool to help get your whole system involved.

Do you have a theme you like to live by? Mine shifts around a bit, but the gist is this:

*I believe that each of us has within us our perfect self and our natural life. I see my work as providing a safe place for us to nurture our perfect selves and natural lives.

*I believe that happiness is a choice. I believe that peace is a choice. I believe that I have the power to choose.

*I choose to double my readership by April 2014.

*I choose to publish my ebooks by April 2014

*I choose to simplify my space by April 2014

(In case you didn’t guess, April is my birthday month. That’s a nice goals marker.)

There are a hundred websites that tell you how to write your manifesto. If you feel stuck, use them for inspiration.

If you want my help, message me.

How have I changed from drifting through my life to choosing my own way?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 10312013