The TaDone List

The TaDone List

One of my interesting challenges these days is feeling competent. It seems that I have ideas about competency being all connected up with energy. Now that I have noticed it, I get to do something about it.

Lately, my energy is mostly working on inside stuff. I have far fewer units to use each day than I am used to, and have to use one of them remembering that I need to pick and choose my commitments.

That is part of being competent; recognizing and respecting our limits. Sometimes they may be self-imposed, and we need to notice that. Sometimes they are imposed by our circumstances, physical, social, work related things. We can notice that, too.

Feel competent is important for us to be powerful in our lives. When we feel incompetent, we often feel like we have no impact, that we don’t make a difference. Thing is, we are always making impressions with others no matter how we feel. We have our perceptions of how we are, other people do, too.

Why am I competent? How am I strong? What makes me capable?

By recognizing and respecting my real limits, I am being competent and self-respectful. It means that I have to learn to say “no” when my inclination is to say “yes” to everything.

When I respect my competence, others will be more likely to respect it, too. They know that I don’t use excuses, that I do my best. When I impose limits that fall short of what I can do, I feel it and often feel guilty or ashamed. That sucks.

As I am going through this interlude in my life with chemo, I am finding a TaDone list to be very helpful. I count things that I don’t count when I have lots of energy, like washing dishes and laundry, cooking meals and then eating them, getting up and getting dressed. I took them for granted before, and will again, but for now, on to the TaDone list they go. I am often surprised at the end of the day when I am reviewing my accomplishments how many little things I did that I never would have counted before.

Hitting a lick at a snake is a saying I like. It means doing a little something on a project. I find that something, like vacuuming, say, is a bunch of little things all strung together. I get the vac out, and take it to the place where I want to clean. Sometimes that’s enough for now. Then I rub it on the floor for a while, and then clean out the dust cup and filter. Sometimes that one swipe is what is finished, sometimes, I can do more. The point is to acknowledge to me that I did it.

Sometimes, what I need to do is sleep for a few hours. That one has been a big adjustment for me. I love a good nap, but am used to napping for ten to fifteen minutes and waking up refreshed. This big sleep puts a dent in the day, especially when I am working.

The first few days after chemo are also another story. They require acknowledging a whole different set of activities as accomplishments. Staying warm, protecting my hands from cold, you should see me with the fridge and my gloves! Keeping my muscles moving when they want to cramp up, drinking a lot of mineral water, and so on. These things seem annoying to me at the time, but I am getting better at regarding them as competent self-care.

TaDone!

How have I changed from discounting what I do to acknowledging my competency?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2014 all rights reserved 08312014

Assessments

Assessments

Lately I have been paying a lot of attention to where I am committed. I used to wonder about that, until I came to recognize that all I had to do was look at my life. I have put together a list of questions that I use. Some are Creative Questions, some are for information gathering. I tend not to use them all at once, but to look at one or two from time to time, especially if I am not feeling all that on track.

Have I chosen to take responsibility for my life? Do I recognize that I am living the perfect life for where I am right now? Do I own that? Do I own that I am responsible for how I feel, for what I do, for where I am?

How do I feel? Am I peaceful? Am I content? Am I happy? Do I feel like I can choose? Have I changed from letting bad feelings run the show to choosing to feel good? Do I feel like I am living my natural life of easy and fun?

How do I occupy my time? Do I feel productive at the end of the day? Do I feel accomplished? Do I feel like I have made good choices? Have I changed from feeling like I waste a lot of time to deciding what I am doing?

Who do I spend time with? Do I feel a mutual support? Do I feel like we are working together? Do I feel challenged in a positive way? Have I changed from having friends I don’t like to being thrilled with the people I love?

How do I take care of myself? Do I feed me well and often enough? Do I drink enough? Do I enjoy moving my body every day? Do I get enough rest? Do I address my spiritual, financial, and social needs? Have I changed from putting myself last to being sure I am in good standing with me?

How do I feel in my environments? Am I comfortable? Do I feel peaceful? Is my space one that brings me joy? Have I changed from hating where I live/work/play to loving my environments?

How do I take care with my loved ones? Do I pay attention to them? Do I listen and remember what they tell me? Do I help and support them as I can? Have I changed from feeling annoyed by them to finding compassion and patience?

Have I set myself measurable goals? Do I spend  time on them regularly? Are they meaningful to me? Do I count my small successes as well as the big ones, and let myself feel successful? Have I changed from ignoring my accomplishments to savoring my good feelings?

Do I practice being aware of me, my stuff, my surroundings? Have I slowed down enough to keep track of my possessions like my car, keys, wallet and cellphone? Do I pay attention to my promises? Am I mindful of my actions? Do I notice when I am feeling distracted and pull myself back? Do I give myself some time to think?

Giving myself a little time from time to time to think about these things helps me move forward. It is especially useful for me if I am feeling stuck. I tend not to look at more than one or two at a time because if I do the whole thing I will often choose to beat myself up for being such a suck. May you find them useful.

How have I changed from being committed to things that do not support me to enjoying my best efforts?

(c) Pam 2014 all rights reserved 08032014

Home is Where the Body is

Home is Where the Body is

I like to think about where I live from time to time, and to expand it up, into the Universe, and then bring it back; Earth, western hemisphere, North America, USA, Minnesota, all the way down to my body. I think it’s kind of funny to think that I live in my body, like it’s a residence.

We have three primary modes for processing the world, processing our information. We process visually, auditorily, and kinesthetically. Very simply, we see stuff in our minds, or hear words, or imagine physical experience.

We all do all three, but one will be our preferred, one our least preferred. My preference is auditory. I tend to process through sounds, think in words, play music in my head if I’m not thinking about stuff. Visual people are seeing pictures very clearly, and kinesthetics feel their experience. I am working on that one, very useful in my qigong practice.

I try to remember that “I” live with my body, like roommates or something. We speak different languages, and don’t always communicate well. My body tends to be more honest that I am. It never pretends to be full of energy when it wants to sleep, or that one bite is good when it’s ravenous.

Thing is, I make a lot of our decisions, up in my think-y part. You know, about how much to move around, what to eat and drink, when to sleep, when to get up. Body doesn’t have a lot of say in the matter.

I also have tended to treat Body very badly, deprived it, pushed it too hard, withheld water, nourishment, rest, fun. I have spoken to Body cruelly, actively hated it. Yikes. If someone else treated me like I treated Body, I would think about having them arrested for abuse.

Why do I love my body? Why do my body and I get along? Why do I treat my body with kindness and respect?

When I think about Body as hosting me, hosting “I”, I feel so grateful. I want to be a better guest. After all, if it weren’t for Body, I wouldn’t be able to do much of anything. But Body means I can do so much. Smell lilacs, hold a child’s hand, hear little cats purr, see my baby snails look at me, and come over. I can dance, and run, and kung my fu. I can fall asleep, and wake up. I can swim, and talk.

Why do I enjoy my body? What makes me take good care? Why do I like where I live?

Body has her own brain, in her guts. When I learn to pay attention to messages from that brain, my life gets better. Body can often process outside information way faster than I can, and will shoot me the word. If I am paying attention, Body will clue me in to all sorts of useful stuff. We make a great team when we work together.

Regardless of our circumstances, the better I take care of her, the better off we are. When I treat my body with loving kindness, she will respond with lightness, and love back to me.

How have I changed from reviling my body to loving where I live?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2014 all rights reserved 05242014