Feeling and Doing

Feeling and Doing

Doing stuff is something we are all really good at. We are doing stuff all the time, important stuff, dumb stuff, stuff that moves us forward, stuff that passes the time. We can’t get away without doing stuff, but boyoboy, can doing get us in trouble.

Doing stuff, how we feel about the stuff we do, the judgments we make about the stuff we do, all come from out thoughts.

Verbing is neutral. We plunk value judgments on stuff all the time, based on our views of the world. We have ideas about what we consume, what we discard, we have ideas about hobbies, activities, jobs and occupations. We have ideas about how tasks should be done, even whether they should be done.

We have ideas about how we should express our spirit, our emotions, our physical presence, and these ideas often clash. We judge each other, praise each other, shame each other, laud each other.

Not only that, but we do the same; judge, praise, shame, and laud our own selves for the stuff we do. It’s like, what is the difference between a pass time and wasting time? Just the judgment.

How am I occupied? Why do I like what I do? What makes me feel productive? How am I satisfied?

Many of us work for a living, some of us are stay-at-home parents, or spouses. Some of us are retired, or in school, or looking for an occupation, but however it goes, we fill our days with doing.

Doing is a great way to progress toward our dreams and goals. Having dreams and goals is part of being a grownup. They give shape to our days, and bring satisfaction and contentment to our beings.

Doing is also a great way to avoid dealing with our internal lives.

Say, what?

Being busy lets us distract ourselves from our internal GPS, our feelings, that let us know what direction we are headed in. If we feel peaceful at our core, relaxed, and happy, we are on track. If we feel agitated, miserable, angry, for more than a few minutes, we may be off track.

Emotions flow through us like thoughts, like floating down a river. When we notice them, and experience them, they are done, completed, and we can move on to the next thing. Experiencing my anger isn’t the same thing as expressing it. Expressing it can often get me in trouble. Experiencing it will move me forward.

Why do I have my emotions? What makes me notice my feelings? Why am I clear?

Being busy, focused on doing doing doing, keeps my feet out of my feelings so to speak, and I end up shoving it into my unconscious mind, where it starts ricocheting off the walls of my mind. And that makes me feel nuts.

By choosing to do what I do mindfully, and with awareness, I can feel my feelings as they flow through my being. I can occupy my time with activities that I value. I can reach my goals, and make new ones, and go to bed feeling content and satisfied.

How have I changed from being a busy bee to being mindful of my activities?

(c) Pam Guthrie all rights reserved 02242014

Relaxing the Bee

Relaxing the Bee

You are so great. You are smart, and brilliant, and wise. You are creative, talented, and skilled. You are kind, and compassionate, and loving. I see that in you.  I like that in you.

Do you?

Have you taken the time to get to know the single most important person in your life? The one person you can really get to know all the way through? It’s worth the effort. It’s worth the time.

Or are you busy. So much to do at work, so much to do at home. Family is just go, go, go. A few hours of sleep, and you are back at it again, barely able even to tell when you are hungry or tired or how you feel about things.

Too busy to think, too busy to breathe, certainly too busy to take some time to know yourself.

That kind of busy lets us know we’ve got something going on. Perhaps we have the idea somewhere that a job is more important than we. Perhaps we have shut down enough that we are running at breakneck speeds on autopilot. Perhaps we are running away from something, in our lives, in ourselves.

You deserve better than that, my dear one. You deserve a life of satisfaction, and presence, of enjoyment, and intimacy, and significance. You deserve to take care of you, of your family, of your loved ones, not just tending to their needs.

You can have a thousand thousand tasks to do, and not be busy. You can have six things to do and be busier than a bee at a flower show.

The difference is all inside you. But you knew that, right?  

When we are sitting at a computer all day, we know we need to take little breaks for our bodies, to get up and stretch, to take a short, brisk walk, to drink some water, in short , to refresh our physical bodies.

Likewise, when we are busy in our minds, we need to take little breaks from that kind of thinking, and refresh our minds. We can use our body-break time, to notice where our feet are, to feel them, to feel our bottom nestled in the chair. To ask ourselves, “How do I feel right now?”  To ask ourselves, “What do I want? What do I like? Is this what I choose to be doing?”

When I remember to slow down inside, to calm my thoughts, to pacify my heart, I seem to get as much done, but without needing the extra energy. When my co-workers are all cranked up, staying soft and quiet will often help them get quiet. With the extra room in my head and energy in my body, I have time to notice where I’m at, and to consider if it’s where I want to be.

Over and over, I find that one of the keys to living a satisfying day is remembering to relax. When I relax my body, my energy can flow. When I relax my feelings, my emotions can flow. When I relax my mind, my thoughts can flow. When I am relaxed, my life can flow. When everything is flowing, it’s easy to like myself.

How have I change from harping on or ignoring me to enjoying my relationship with me?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 11162013