Leading the Followers

Leading the Followers

How´s your vision these days? I'm not talking about your eyesight. I´m talking about the vision for your life.

In the days of yore, I avoided thinking about it. Instead of thinking about how I wanted my life to go, I spent time thinking about all the things I was afraid would happen. I am serious. I made up the craziest, scariest scenarios. I was particularly brilliant at composing my personal horror stories late at night, stomach-roiling, nail-biting tales of terror. I made myself sick with fear and fretting. Tension headaches that hurt all the way down my back. Leg, knee, and foot pain plagued me. I felt so awful I ended up at Mayo; acute, chronic nervous tension! I did it to myself.

I have to say, I fought that idea, that I was doing it to me, with tooth and the proverbial nail. Back then, I believed that anxious, miserable, frightened girl was just the way I was. After all, my life was horrible, so I should feel horrible.

On the one hand, I was committed to misery. On the other hand, I really wanted to be happy. In those days, I didn't have a clue how to make that happen. I spent a lot of time wishing I were happy. I didn't understand that wishing for stuff reinforces me staying stuck. I have to think about being where I am to wish to be somewhere else. It’s how our minds work.

I inadvertently happened on a good Creative Question. Usually we use bad creative questions like, “Why can’t I get ahead?” Or, “Why am I so miserable?” Or, one of my old favorites, “What’s wrong with me?” What I started asking was, “How can I be happy?”

When we find our vision of how we want our lives to be, when we find our passions, when we feel our purpose, things change. We start to feel focus, we feel more authentic. We are, perhaps, born with our vision.

I was clueless about mine for a long time. On the one hand, I was always a thoughtful kid who loved to write. I had mystical visions as a matter of course. I loved to teach. On the other hand, because that was “just how I was” I tended to discount those things as my purpose while searching with a feeling of almost desperation for my “true” purpose.

Why am I a leader? What makes me happy to do what it takes? Why am I willing to be seen?

As I came to accept my vision, my purpose, I found that I relaxed. As I began to do this work, I felt more joyful in my everyday life. As I allowed myself to know what I know, I felt more confident in sharing that knowledge. Allowing my natural leadership to emerge made my life better in so many ways.

We are all natural leaders. We each have special talents, talents that the world can use to make lives better, to help humanity grow. We may have gifts that impact millions, we may have gifts that impact just a few, but living in our own truth, realizing our own vision, brings us into an alignment that we often fight.  

When we step into our natural alignment, life gets easier, more satisfying. When we allow that we are natural leaders, we find that we have good opportunities to lead. It may be by example, it may be by teaching, it may be through inspiration, but it will be.

How have I changed from fearing or fighting my leadership to relaxing into my natural role?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2015 all rights reserved 09252015

Creating the Big Picture

Creating the Big Picture

What do you want? The big picture thing, not just good coffee or some extra cash, but the look of your life? We hear this referred to as a goal, or our vision, or intentions. Perhaps we call it ambition.

This one can be a tricky one for many of us. We feel like we just don’t know, or that we have no ambitions. We kinda want our lives to be better, but we don’t even really know what that means for us.

Why do I know what I want? How do I choose? What makes me decide?

Back in the day, I thought that I would be happy if I had more money, was thinner, and had a sweetheart. I thought if I had a car, or nicer clothes, traveled more, or had a better job I would be happy. So I got those things, and I still wasn’t happy. I spent a lot of time wondering what was wrong with me.

Little by little I started to understand that my happiness came from inside, not from outside stuff. The outside stuff sometimes gave me resources, but never gave me happiness. I started to understand that the more relaxed and accepting I was of how things are right now, the happier I felt. And the more I did those things, the more I realized that I wanted to share my experience with you, to create a safe space where you could try on the things that worked for me. To give them to you freely, and as completely as I could.

I had a goal.

From the goal I built a vision, namely, to write to you, and put those writings out there. I started small; a few sentences every now and then about how to use Creative Questions, and what could happen if you did, how your life could get easier.

Why do I have goals? How do I create my vision? What makes me a role model?

When Arne Rantzen, the creator of the Creative Questions cards, invited me to write to you on the Creative Questions page on Facebook, my vision got clearer. I decided to write to you every day, and bit by bit these contemplations came about.

My vision grows clearer of what I want. One of the neat things about doing this every day is that, even though a lot of people see this each day, I am still just writing to you. That piece is important to me. I know Creative Questions and the contemplations work because they help me. I know they help you, because I hear from you. And many of you have gotten your own deck of Creative Questions cards to inspire you to try a new way, to do a new thing, to change your feelings, your attitude, your outlook. I can’t tell you how thrilling that is for me.

When we take the time to think about what we really want out of our lives in the next six months, the next year, the next five years, I put some shape to my day. I have things that are important to me, and maybe only me, but when I spend some time on those intentions, I feel accomplished. I celebrate my little achievements. And then I look back, and see that all those little achievements have made a big accomplishment. I feel successful. And I am a leader.

When we have a vision that we work on, we are leaders by example. As our lives improve, we are leading by example. When I calm down, lighten up, and find joy in my everyday life, I am leading by example.

How have I changed from feeling aimless to having aspirations?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2014 all rights reserved 08042014

Leading From the Heart

Leading From the Heart

What do you think about leadership? For years I thought that leadership was about someone who was better than me  being the boss of me, the mom, the dad, the teacher, the bully; someone who had power over me who had none.

My belief was that, for the most part, if you had that kind of power, you were going to use it to make things hard for me.

Poor little me. There was so much I had wrong.

Each of us is on a journey, a very private journey, but one that we take in front of each other. That’s our first paradox. We show each other so much stuff just by how we move, how we hold our face, our choice of words. Our whole story is right there, in front of each other all the time. All we have to do is read it. And we do, although much of that reading happens in our unconscious mind.

Leadership is an aspect of each of our journeys. Sometimes we may follow, sometimes we may lead. We may do each of those things well, or poorly. And that role can shift all around, depending on the situation we find ourselves in.

A good leader not only directs our effort for a greater accomplishment than we could make alone, but also sets a good example of behavior, actions, and attitude.

But here is an interesting tidbit. We can lead from anywhere. It’s not like being oxen pulling a cart.  It’s not about standing up and speaking in front of a crowd. It’s not about having the power to reward or punish people.

I can lead, regardless of my position, by my attitude and behavior. Face it, we watch each other like hawks. Our kids suck up our behavior as the gold standard of adult behavior. They are aware of everything we do, how we do it, the stuff underlying it, and it will become part of who they grow up to be. Our co-workers watch, too, and so do our neighbors. We have so much curiosity about each other.

When I have a vision, and live my life according to that vision, I am leading from my conviction, my confidence. Sometimes, I don’t have a vision, and withhold my leadership. Sometimes I have feelings about pushing you, or feel like I don’t deserve to lead. Sometimes, I am concerned that by leading, I will attract negative attention and get hurt. Sometimes I feel held back by stuff, or people. Sometimes I feel like I don’t know enough to lead.

How am I safe to lead? What makes me a good leader? Why do I have a vision?

I may not have the knowledge or expertise I would like to have as a leader. I can get that. But I can always lead by example.

I can light the darkness with my attitude. I can model calm and peace for you when things are “exciting.” I can model responding rather than reacting. I can behave like a grown up, creating space where we are safe to try on new behaviors, to shed old beliefs.

Why would I choose to lead from my heart?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 12082013

If you like a contemplation, please share it. Thanks!