Leading From the Heart

Leading From the Heart

What do you think about leadership? For years I thought that leadership was about someone who was better than me  being the boss of me, the mom, the dad, the teacher, the bully; someone who had power over me who had none.

My belief was that, for the most part, if you had that kind of power, you were going to use it to make things hard for me.

Poor little me. There was so much I had wrong.

Each of us is on a journey, a very private journey, but one that we take in front of each other. That’s our first paradox. We show each other so much stuff just by how we move, how we hold our face, our choice of words. Our whole story is right there, in front of each other all the time. All we have to do is read it. And we do, although much of that reading happens in our unconscious mind.

Leadership is an aspect of each of our journeys. Sometimes we may follow, sometimes we may lead. We may do each of those things well, or poorly. And that role can shift all around, depending on the situation we find ourselves in.

A good leader not only directs our effort for a greater accomplishment than we could make alone, but also sets a good example of behavior, actions, and attitude.

But here is an interesting tidbit. We can lead from anywhere. It’s not like being oxen pulling a cart.  It’s not about standing up and speaking in front of a crowd. It’s not about having the power to reward or punish people.

I can lead, regardless of my position, by my attitude and behavior. Face it, we watch each other like hawks. Our kids suck up our behavior as the gold standard of adult behavior. They are aware of everything we do, how we do it, the stuff underlying it, and it will become part of who they grow up to be. Our co-workers watch, too, and so do our neighbors. We have so much curiosity about each other.

When I have a vision, and live my life according to that vision, I am leading from my conviction, my confidence. Sometimes, I don’t have a vision, and withhold my leadership. Sometimes I have feelings about pushing you, or feel like I don’t deserve to lead. Sometimes, I am concerned that by leading, I will attract negative attention and get hurt. Sometimes I feel held back by stuff, or people. Sometimes I feel like I don’t know enough to lead.

How am I safe to lead? What makes me a good leader? Why do I have a vision?

I may not have the knowledge or expertise I would like to have as a leader. I can get that. But I can always lead by example.

I can light the darkness with my attitude. I can model calm and peace for you when things are “exciting.” I can model responding rather than reacting. I can behave like a grown up, creating space where we are safe to try on new behaviors, to shed old beliefs.

Why would I choose to lead from my heart?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 12082013

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