Aw, Grow Up!

Aw, Grow Up!

Wah wah wah. I’m cold, I’m hot, I’m bored, I’m hungry. I’m too full. I don’t like this. I don’t like that. You are mean to me. I don’t have enough. I don’t want to do that. Wah wah wah.

Whining and whinging, moaning and groaning. Nothing is right, nothing is good enough, nothing satisfies.

Last night, I got home a little after 10 PM. I sat in my nice, warm car for a bit checking messages, it was 0F/-18C at the time, and in that time, the owner of the SUV next to me returned. He beeped the car, opened the door, paused, closed the door and got on his phone.

As I stepped out of my car, he was just finishing his call and I asked if everything was okay. Someone had broken the passenger window, and taken his backpack that was sitting on the seat, with his laptop in it.

We chatted for a while, and then he said, “Well, look. That’s nice, they left my hat. I think I’ll put that on while I’m waiting.” I told him I hoped the rest of his year would make up for the event, and he said, “It’s just a broken window and a stolen laptop. If that’s the worst thing that happened this year, it will be a pretty good year.”

I was so taken by his attitude. Bitter cold, broken window, 10:30 on a work night, waiting for the cops, and then AAA, or whomever, and his comment was, “If that’s the worst thing that happened this year, it will be a pretty good year.”

Warmed me right up.

Bitching and whining are easy. That’s baby talk. I want to be a grown up. Grown ups see the upside. Grown ups may complain from time to time, but they also find solutions.

Being miserable is easy. That’s our factory setting. I want to be a grown up. Grown ups choose to be happy.

Not liking, not wanting, not engaging, that’s at the dark end of the scale. I want to be a grown up on the light end of the scale. Grown ups find ways to allow things to be as they are, know what they want, and engage and connect with what they are doing, whom they are with.

Wanting more random stuff, feeling entitled, mine mine me! That’s toddler behavior. I want to be a grown up. Grown up recognized their plenty, and appreciate the fullness of their life.

Reacting to stuff, freaking out, worrying, well, I think you see where I am coming from.

When I decide to grow up, I am deciding, in a very practical sense, to live the nicest life I can manage. (When I start feeling sorry for myself, I often find myself thinking of the incarcerated Tibetan Buddhist monks who manage to stay positive in horrible circumstances, which almost instantly reconnects me with the awareness of how rich and glorious my life is, what a dazzling amount of luxury I’ve created for myself, and that all of that is outer trappings. Until I choose to be a grown up, I am in a prison of my own thoughts and attitudes.

Why do I choose to grown up?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 12062013

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