Them.

Them.

So, here’s an interesting question: What do you think of people? Not your friends, not your family, but that generic concept, “people?”

It is often the case that the way we feel about people will give us clues as to how we feel about ourselves, underneath.

If I think people basically suck, chances are good I think I suck, too. If I think people are basically decent, chances are, I think I am basically decent, too. It’s called projecting, and we do it a lot, and mostly it’s unconscious.

It’s amazing what happens inside us, outside us, that’s don’t notice. Amazing.

If I don’t know why I'm feeling this way, I’m having unconscious thoughts that are creating unconscious emotions that are producing feelings. Not knowing why I feel this way can make me feel crazy.

If I do something and I don’t know why I’m doing it, especially if I do it over and over, I’m having unconscious thoughts that result in actions. Not knowing what I’m thinking can make me feel crazy.

Until we decide to change it, most of what happens in our lives is unconscious. How’s that for freaky. Until we decide to start paying attention, we will react to the situations that occur, and often have no idea why.

Until we decide to be the one in charge of our lives, we may feel totally out of control. We may feel overwhelmed. We may feel inadequate to handle stuff. We may feel like we simply can’t do it. When we feel like that, we will often do stuff as a reaction, stuff that may feel bad, or hurt us or other people. Or we may hide ourselves away, or any number of other things.

When we change our mind and decide to be aware, we start noticing our thoughts. We notice our emotions, and our feelings. We notice what we are doing. We respond to situations rather than reacting. We choose, we decide, we act. We start feeling like we can deal. We start feeling like we can cope. We start feeling confident, and resourceful.

Sometimes, when we are in the middle of a new situation, we may not know how we feel or what we are thinking because so much new stuff is happening. That’s ok. Because we are usually aware, we have the resources we need to allow the new situation to work in our lives. We don’t need to freak out, we don’t need to shut down, we don’t need to get mad. We can relax a bit more,

It may be new, but I don’t have to worry. I can handle it. It may be new, but I don’t have to analyze it, I can let it flow. It may be new, but I can still relax, relax, relax. How do I know I can cope? What makes me competent? Why am I flexible?

When I choose to be aware, my feelings about “people” can change quite a lot. I may find that, as I come to like me more, I find more to like in “them.” My world can become a much softer place.

How have I changed from being clueless to choosing to know?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 12102013

If you like what you see here, please share it. Thanks.