Friday, December 13, 2013

It’s Just so Easy

It’s Just so Easy

I can. I can do this. I am competent and capable. How do I know I can do this? What makes me strong? Why am I tapped into the source?

We have so many things happen as we move through our lives. Some of those things just happen and we don’t have to do much. Other things call on us to dig deep and find resources we didn’t know we had. When we get that call, sometimes we meet it, sometimes we don’t.

One of the coolest things about becoming a grownup is that we find resources. We find external resources to help us, or support us, or comfort us. Our ability to find these resources improves, our ability to receive improves, our ability to share improves. And next thing you know, our lives have juiced up and we are loving living.

Even more important than finding our external resources is finding our internal resources.

Why am I competent? How do I know I am capable? How have I changed from feeling overwhelmed to knowing I can? Why could it all be so easy?

As I start tapping into my internal resources, I find strength. Strength of character, emotional endurance, even physical stamina. At the same time, I find other resources that temper my strength. I find softness and vulnerability. I am tender, I am pliant and flexible. I find that within me is a core of peace and calm. When I am there, at the core, I can flow with my circumstances, flow with life.

Like floating down a river, flowing with my life isn’t effortful. It’s interesting, engaging, compelling. If I look, I can find elements of enjoyment everywhere. I can even enjoy “negative” emotions when I don’t have a lot of crap attached.

Why do I find enjoyment? What makes it fun for me? Why do I engage?

And that’s another thing that happens as I dig deep. I find that I can let go of my old past, my old emo crap, my old traumas. As I start living my natural life, I find that I like it, and want to do what I need to do the clean up my act, to change my destructive patterns, to heal.

Why do I choose to be well? Why do I look to my health? What uplifts me?

In yore’s days, I wanted to feel tough. I wanted to be impervious to emotional pain, shut it away, and not feel anything. I felt wounded all the time. You hurt me so much. The world hurt me so much, both of you whacking into me all the time. Except, you weren’t trying to hurt me, and the world was really just minding it’s own business. I wasn’t paying attention to where I was or what I was doing, I was so busy with my inside stuff.

How have I changed from being focused on my negative self to choosing to see the light?

Remarkably, I find that I don’t get hurt as easily. I am more aware, so I don’t walk into doors, or misstep, I don’t cut myself. I’m not covered in bruises I don’t remember getting, and I also don’t
suffer emotional hurts so easily. I don’t take things personally. I don’t feel like I’m a bad person when I make a mistake.

Choosing competent, choosing capable, choosing responsible doesn’t make my life harder, it makes it easier. Getting it done, letting go of my procrastination, makes it easier. Clearing out my crap, getting to my core, makes it easier.

How have I changed from believing it has to be hard to knowing it can all be just so easy?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 12132013

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