It’s Just so Easy

It’s Just so Easy

I can. I can do this. I am competent and capable. How do I know I can do this? What makes me strong? Why am I tapped into the source?

We have so many things happen as we move through our lives. Some of those things just happen and we don’t have to do much. Other things call on us to dig deep and find resources we didn’t know we had. When we get that call, sometimes we meet it, sometimes we don’t.

One of the coolest things about becoming a grownup is that we find resources. We find external resources to help us, or support us, or comfort us. Our ability to find these resources improves, our ability to receive improves, our ability to share improves. And next thing you know, our lives have juiced up and we are loving living.

Even more important than finding our external resources is finding our internal resources.

Why am I competent? How do I know I am capable? How have I changed from feeling overwhelmed to knowing I can? Why could it all be so easy?

As I start tapping into my internal resources, I find strength. Strength of character, emotional endurance, even physical stamina. At the same time, I find other resources that temper my strength. I find softness and vulnerability. I am tender, I am pliant and flexible. I find that within me is a core of peace and calm. When I am there, at the core, I can flow with my circumstances, flow with life.

Like floating down a river, flowing with my life isn’t effortful. It’s interesting, engaging, compelling. If I look, I can find elements of enjoyment everywhere. I can even enjoy “negative” emotions when I don’t have a lot of crap attached.

Why do I find enjoyment? What makes it fun for me? Why do I engage?

And that’s another thing that happens as I dig deep. I find that I can let go of my old past, my old emo crap, my old traumas. As I start living my natural life, I find that I like it, and want to do what I need to do the clean up my act, to change my destructive patterns, to heal.

Why do I choose to be well? Why do I look to my health? What uplifts me?

In yore’s days, I wanted to feel tough. I wanted to be impervious to emotional pain, shut it away, and not feel anything. I felt wounded all the time. You hurt me so much. The world hurt me so much, both of you whacking into me all the time. Except, you weren’t trying to hurt me, and the world was really just minding it’s own business. I wasn’t paying attention to where I was or what I was doing, I was so busy with my inside stuff.

How have I changed from being focused on my negative self to choosing to see the light?

Remarkably, I find that I don’t get hurt as easily. I am more aware, so I don’t walk into doors, or misstep, I don’t cut myself. I’m not covered in bruises I don’t remember getting, and I also don’t

suffer emotional hurts so easily. I don’t take things personally. I don’t feel like I’m a bad person when I make a mistake.

Choosing competent, choosing capable, choosing responsible doesn’t make my life harder, it makes it easier. Getting it done, letting go of my procrastination, makes it easier. Clearing out my crap, getting to my core, makes it easier.

How have I changed from believing it has to be hard to knowing it can all be just so easy?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 12132013

Being Great

Being Great

You matter so much. You make such an amazing difference in the world. Do you have any idea of all the lives you’ve touched?

The honest answer is, not in the least. We can’t know. We can guess, but we do stuff everyday that has an impact on those around us, and then ripples out. The random smile, the words of comfort, the offer of help,

We all have bad days, when we are crabby, or rude. Sometimes others see us as being that way when we aren’t. In the grand scheme of things, meh.

Because, in general, I know you. I know you because you are here, and reading these words, that you are making an effort to make your life nice, and that part of that is being kind and present and aware out in the world.

I know that you often go out of your way to be helpful, or to offer a little comfort to someone who needs it, sometimes not even someone you know. I know that you try to give a little extra at work, at home, at church, or in your other communities.

I know that sometimes you feel unappreciated, or like no matter what you do, it doesn’t change anything. I know that some days you wonder how you will go on, doing all you do. I know your heart gets heavy, your shoulders sag, and sometimes you even get water coming out from your face.

I am here to ask you, “How do you know that you matter?”

What you do makes a difference, even if the people around you don’t acknowledge it. You do make a difference, even if you can’t see it. You do make a difference, you matter, you are special, and bring your special gifts to the world every day.

What’s more, you are here for a reason, whether you’ve figured out what it is yet. You are not just some random collection of genes and DNA. You have gifts and talents, you have developed skills and judgment, you have your unique combination of experiences, and your unique point of view.

I can spend the whole day saying how great you are, all the things I like about you, but my words, my appreciation, my love is useless to you, unless you feel it, too.

I have to find my way to feeling like I make a difference. I have to own that I am important. I have to recognize that I am special. How do I feel when I am important? How do I feel when I matter? How do I feel when I am interesting and engaging?

When I can start to feel that within me, that what I do makes a difference, I begin to be able to let go of needing you to validate me. I begin to be free.

As I start to own that I matter, I don’t need as much from the outside, so I have more juice on the inside. I can take better care of me, and then I can take better care of you, without resentment, without feeling ripped off if you aren’t somehow doing something to “make” me feel good about me.

How have I changed from feeling small to knowing I matter?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 12112013

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