Ad Hoc Happiness

Ad Hoc Happiness

Doing without. The spirit of thrift. Making do. Reuse, repurpose, recycle. Jury rigging.

I pulled the Why am I Happy? card this morning, and surprisingly found myself considering some of what makes me feel happy.

As I made that list, I found myself thinking about how much fun I have figuring out how to make things work, what to do with leftovers, how to stretch stuff, how to be thrifty. It’s fun for me to find ways to save money without making sacrifices, because one thing I’ve learned about me is that, when I feel like I’m sacrificing, I feel resentful, not happy. But that’s just me.

One reason I like to come up with new life for things, or foods, is because then I feel resourceful and creative.  I like knowing how to fold paper into useful objects; a chopstick stand from it’s own wrapper, a cup from a sheet of paper when I am thirsty, or a fan when I am hot.

Feeling resourceful and creative are elements of happiness for me.

Loving and feeling loved are other elements. Feeling useful and productive, feeling spiritual, feeling like I am taking good care of me, and you, being generous, and kind; these are things that are part of feeling happy for me.

On the other hand, there is happiness that is just feeling light inside, uplifted, fluffy. When I talk about changing feelings as easily as changing your mind, this is the feeling I’m talking about. This feeling is simple, easy to get to; basically, yours for the taking.

Why do I choose to feel happy? What makes me feel light? Why do I choose uplifted?

So turn off the sad music right now, get some light on you, and let’s get started.

First step, relax. That’s the first step for a lot of stuff. It’s not just our muscles that need to relax, but our thoughts and feelings. If I am not feeling peaceful, something is clenched somewhere within me, and practicing relaxing when I feel good or okay is wonderful practice for getting back to peaceful quickly and easily when it’s something bigger.

Step two, start asking those good Creative Questions. Chances are better than not that I am all frothy with bad creative questions; Why is it so hard? Why do I feel so bad? What’s wrong with them? What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I ever do X? Why does X always happen to me? Well, you know what your favorites are, and if you don’t, now is the perfect time to start noticing. One of my favorites is What’s wrong with me? with the quick answer, I suck. Identifying your question makes it much easier to flip it into a Creative Question.

Step three, change your posture and facial expression. A very nice rule of thumb is this, if you want to feel blue, slump and frown. Cave in your chest, shorten your breathing, and droop the corners of your mouth. If you want to feel light, sit up and smile, at least crinkle the corners of your eyes, ask your good Creative Questions, and breathe some good, refreshing deep breaths.

When I choose happy, everything gets easier. It’s easier to dump my negative emotional judgments, my resentments, my sense of betrayal over little things. It’s easier to let my emotions flow when I know I can chose how I want to feel. And it’s easier for you to be around me. Practice makes the happiness groove easier and easier to get into. Nice when something beyond the normal daily drivel happens.

How have I changed from feeling like happiness is a mysterious thing randomly bestowed and snatched away to getting that I am in charge of my own happiness?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 12012013