Spooky Smart

Spooky Smart

Universal, infinite wisdom. Divine, infinite being. Natural life of bliss and satisfaction. Sentence fragments, sure, but so much content.

Over and over again I am confronted with a very simple concept. When I am clenched , stuff is more challenging, and when I relax, things are easier.

One place I find this to be true is with solving stuff, figuring things out, remembering stuff, being smart in general. I find it much easier to do that when I let my mind relax. I know I’ve kind of been going on about relaxing, but, dang.

In my qigong practice there are three rules: Don’t worry. Don’t intellectualize. Relax.

There are three more rules: Relax. Relax. Relax.

When I remember to relax, I remember that I do what I can, and let go of the rest. When I remember to relax, I can let stuff flow, my thoughts, my emotions, my responses to life. When I relax, time stops racing past me. Days slow down to a nice day-length, weeks are a nice week-length and a year takes a whole year, like it did when I was a kid. I really love that.

When I relax, the wisdom of the universe can flow through me.

How do I know I am brilliant? Why am I so wise? How am I clever?

I have met several people in my life who are spooky school-smart. They remember stuff from college like nobody’s business. They have IQs in the 170s. Or something. I have also met people who have music smarts that blow me away, or visual art smarts, or people smarts, or cooking smarts, or physical being smarts.

Point is, we are all brilliant. I have to work at math, but I can read your face and body stuff pretty well.

How are you brilliant? Where does your brilliance shine? What do you excel at?

As we own our skills, and talents, and gifts, our self-esteem grows, we feel good about who we are, what we can do. Because we are connecting with our core self, our natural self, we feel less attachment to our ego-self, that part of us that wants everything to stay exactly the way it is. We feel excited for change, excited by the flow of our lives, we love to be surprised by what’s next, and we feel competent, strong, and capable of handling whatever comes our way.

Like you, I am a work in progress when it comes to this stuff. Like you, I have stuff come up on the outside, and come up on the inside. Like you, I plug away at it, doing what I can to remember what helps me keep moving forward. I try to remember to be kind, to have compassion, to stay peaceful. I don’t always succeed, sometimes I really screw up. I get angry, and ashamed, and fearful. I worry.

But I am much better, as my life lately has been pointing out to me, thank you, Life.

How have I changed from feeling stupid to owning my brilliance?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2014 all rights reserved 04022014

What did you like in today's contemplation? Did you get it about how smart you are? If you like what you find here, please + or share. Thanks. How do you know you are brilliant?

Tempering Ego

Tempering Ego

Did you know that many spiritual teachers say that we are meant to be happy? That part of why we are here is to learn to get to happy? What do you think about that?

I really like that notion. I also like feeling happy. I think that’s what we are at our core, living our natural life.

In the olden days, I thought I had found pleasure, in a bottle, in drugs, in dangerous situations. It turned out that what I had found was just distraction from my pain.

True pleasure doesn’t make things worse. I don’t get a hangover, I don’t have regrets, Curious, that. Distraction pleasure leaves us saying, from time to time, “that was worth it.” We never have to say that about true pleasure because there aren’t secondary costs.

Why do I have fun? What makes me delighted? How do I enjoy myself?

When things we have enjoyed in the past now leave us feeling meh, we may have made a habit of the activity, and stopped being present in it.

When I am living my natural life, I feel light. I feel happy. I have pleasure in many things, mundane things bring a savor and delight, simply being present can be blissful. And then we take a little detour, and go back to a version of our old ways, and feel bad, heavy hearted, bereft, angry, scared.

We have these feelings to remind us to return to our natural path. A lot of how to get back there for me has to do with letting go. I have to let go feeling like I deserve to feel bad. That’s a weird one. I have to let go feeling like I have a right to feel crappy. I think it’s fascinating. I don’t get that secondary feeling when I am soul-happy, only when I feel bad. That’s ego stuff.

Ego likes to keep things as they are. Ego is a collection of ideas about who we are, who I am. It’s wrong. But its job is to maintain that identity. It is much easier to do that when I don’t feel good. You could think of it as Ego being all that aggregated crap around our core self, and you could call that core self as Soul. But that’s just one way to look at it.

The point is, that each of us, when we choose to grow up, will have to deal with our tantrum-y Ego who doesn’t want to put on pants and go to the park, and doesn’t want to eat that, and who likes to hear herself make all that noise about how awful and unfair life is. Ego who deserves to feel bad, and has a right to misbehave because of how terrible it all is.

Why do I choose? How do I let go? What makes me decide to have fun?

When I make little choices to quiet Ego instead of pacifying it, I am closer to my natural life. When I make bigger choices to quiet Ego instead of indulging it, I am choosing my natural life, my infinite perfection.  When I make the big choice to grow up, I choose to let go of deserving to feel bad, or exhausted, or miserable. I choose to feel light and happy. Somedays, that choice is easier for me than others, but I will tell you, making that shift makes everything nicer.

How have I changed from letting Ego run the show to choosing my natural life?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2014 all rights reserved 03172014

Unsticking the Stuck

Unsticking the Stuck

I get curious when the same cards come up over and over. I figure that there is something I’m missing, an important piece I need to get.  So when the awareness card came up again, I figure it’s time to take another think.

Awareness comes with its own set of questions. We shift from asking, “How can I do more?” to “How can I be more?” That’s kind of exciting, isn’t it, that question.

How can I be more?

We each have the same amount of time in a  day. We each have a brain, talents, skills, creativity, insight, stuff we like to do. We live in the world, and we live lives where stuff happens. The point is, what do we do about that? Well, we also each have choices.

Why do I step up? How do I succeed? What makes me a leader?

When big stuff happens in our lives, we make choices. Sometimes, we choose a dark path. We may bail out. We may shut down, or act out with inappropriate behaviors. We may pretend nothing is going on and then, get sick, or have an accident, or even die rather than address this new thing.

On the other hand, sometimes, we step up. We see our new situation as an opportunity for growth and expansion. We do what we need to do to get more healthful energy, more efficiency, more effectiveness. We drop things that are less important, we change our relationships. We follow this new path to our new level, and find that we have more resources, skills, talents and enjoyment, love and support than we had before.

We do that with awareness. We do that with self-knowledge. We do that with support from people who love us and want us to be successful. We unchoose listening to those who talk smackchoo about us, or even to us, and we pay more attention to the loving voices, even if they are in our minds. We remember that we are living a new, more dynamic life, where we get to be more of who we are, and when we remember that we are divine infinite beings, well, that’s a lot of life.

For the people who follow their dreams, who achieve their goals, this is what we mean by a rags to riches story.

How do I feel when I wake up happy and excited for my day? How do I feel when I feel productive and satisfied?

When I make the choice to level up, I can expect that some old emo crap will come up. I will have to address my ego, who likes things the way they are, thank you very much. I will have to confront issues from my past, maybe around claiming my power, or what my responsibilities are, or what is expected of me. But I know that I am capable of handling those things. I have resources, I have courage, I have all the strength I need, and I  know that when I’ve finished with that list, I will feel freer than ever before, I will have more energy, I will feel motivated, inspired and competent. And I will get to do more of what I love. I love it when I win.

How have I changed from feeling stuck and helpless to feeling present and empowered?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2014 all rights reserved 03152014

Finding Spirit

Finding Spirit

I don’t know about you, but I’ve never found a good, solid, clear definition of spirituality. I am not religious per se, but I do have spiritual feelings. Sorting out my ideas about my spirituality has been like the story of the seven blind men trying to describe an elephant; an elephant is like a rope, an elephant is like a tree, like the side of a hut, like the leaf of a banana tree; the tail, the leg, the body, the ear.

So I feel my way along, gleaning a little information here, a little more understanding there. I use my heart to feel my way.  

For me, being spiritual has several parts. Part one is recognizing the brilliance of nature. Spotting the golden ration out in the world, watching the results of our planet turning, listening to the birdies chattering, checking out a snowflake, or a stone. Why do I slow down and see? Why can I hear?

Part two is noticing my beliefs. Once I’ve identified a belief, I check it out and see how it fits with my primary commandment: Be excellent to each other. Since I am an “other” for someone, I figure that puts me in there, too. So I look for beliefs that diminish me, or you, and then set about changing them. Why am I good to myself? What makes me compassionate?

Part three is noticing my attitude. Oh, man, I used to hate that line, “You need to change your attitude, Missy!” I think it was the “Missy” that was like a poke in the chest and would get me all riled up. On the other hand, they were right, and eventually I did. And I do. I’ve learned that my day sucks only when I let it suck.

When I let myself relax out and away from my knee-jerk-y, negative emotional judgments, when I can relax away from worry and fear and anger, when I soften into my natural life, I see your good heart. I see your challenges and feel compassion and can find respect. When I feel compassion and respect for you, our relationship shifts. You don’t have to do a thing. It's like adding a paperclip to an element in a mobile -- everything has to shift to accommodate that little change.

So, my spiritual practice consists of being aware of my insides and outsides most of the time. Of noticing crappy beliefs that don’t support my prime directive, and change ‘em. Of noticing my attitude and changing it as needed. I meditate, I practice qigong, and I practice tonglen.

One of the ways I practice tonglen is to remember, “Other people feel this discomfort, too. May we all be free of this.”  Simple, easy. The point is that I am never “the only one.”  When I think, “I am the only one who ever blah blah blah,” I can bet my booty that my ego is running the show.

When my ego is running the show, stuff is going to get weird. I am going to feel put upon, or I will want to put upon you. I will bring all my worst stuff to the surface, and justify it all to heck and back. I will feel righteous. Putting you down feels natural to me in that state, because I am better than you.

Ew.

So that’s part of it, too. Noticing when I’ve let my ego-self take over, and letting go, relaxing back into my natural life.  And remembering that each person in my life brings me a gift of some sort each day. If I can’t see it, the failing is mine, and only mine, and they will bring it again to me tomorrow.

How have I changed from feeling a spiritual disconnect to feeling spirit throughout my life?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 11232013

Unhobbling the Cash Cow

Hobbling the Cash Cow

Resistance. I know none of you have any kind of resistance to change, but I must confess that I do. Sometimes I think of it as my stubborn streak, and from time to time it does serve me well, but, well, it’s all those other times.

Today I drew the Cash card, and had a flare of “no!” show up. Resistance.

Resistance is a gift of ego. It’s ego’s way of maintaining the status quo. Ego likes the way things are. Ego will fight change all the way. Ego doesn’t care if you are suffering with the way things are, that’s the way ego wants things to stay.

So what do we do? Are we doomed to be flattened by ego over and over, never making progress, always feeling bad?

Of course not! (Play superhero theme music here.) Enter the Power of Choice!

Choice is the ego’s worst enemy. When we remember to choose, and then choose, ego is quieted. When we remember to choose, and then choose, we are powerful. We effect change. We create the world we want to live in, and ego be damned.

I have had resistance around owning a surplus of money. I have changed many aspects of this, I’ve made wonderful progress, and continue to do so. It is one of my ego’s strongholds. And the more crap I get out of my emotional basement, the more I notice it.

Creative Questions help so much to transform resistance into our desired change. When we find some resistance to a Creative Question we really want to accept, there are a lot of things we can do to soften our egos up.

We can add the words “would” or “could” to our Question. When I am working with a Question and I’m getting a “NO!” response to it, adding would or could to the Question makes just enough wiggle room that I often can dispel the “no” just that easily. And when I add the word, “else” to the mix, step outta the way, Sally!

Why else would I have a surplus of money? How else could I have my own savings? How else could I personally channel the unlimited supply of extra cash?

Powerful, dynamic, comfortable, easy.

When we decide to release our resistance to the possibility of a nicer life, we start to have one. When we decide to release our resistance to more enjoyment, we find it. We can find ourselves delighted with our transformation, and surprise ourselves with the ease of transition.

We can send our ego off to count the leaves on the trees, or grains of sand at the beach.

Owning that I am resistant is the first step. It is very different from saying, “I just can’t do it.” If you want, I will give instructions for a Creative Questions Acceptance Train exercise. Just let me know.

How have I changed from resisting something I think I want, to accepting the transformation with grace and joy?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 09102013