Tempering Ego

Tempering Ego

Did you know that many spiritual teachers say that we are meant to be happy? That part of why we are here is to learn to get to happy? What do you think about that?

I really like that notion. I also like feeling happy. I think that’s what we are at our core, living our natural life.

In the olden days, I thought I had found pleasure, in a bottle, in drugs, in dangerous situations. It turned out that what I had found was just distraction from my pain.

True pleasure doesn’t make things worse. I don’t get a hangover, I don’t have regrets, Curious, that. Distraction pleasure leaves us saying, from time to time, “that was worth it.” We never have to say that about true pleasure because there aren’t secondary costs.

Why do I have fun? What makes me delighted? How do I enjoy myself?

When things we have enjoyed in the past now leave us feeling meh, we may have made a habit of the activity, and stopped being present in it.

When I am living my natural life, I feel light. I feel happy. I have pleasure in many things, mundane things bring a savor and delight, simply being present can be blissful. And then we take a little detour, and go back to a version of our old ways, and feel bad, heavy hearted, bereft, angry, scared.

We have these feelings to remind us to return to our natural path. A lot of how to get back there for me has to do with letting go. I have to let go feeling like I deserve to feel bad. That’s a weird one. I have to let go feeling like I have a right to feel crappy. I think it’s fascinating. I don’t get that secondary feeling when I am soul-happy, only when I feel bad. That’s ego stuff.

Ego likes to keep things as they are. Ego is a collection of ideas about who we are, who I am. It’s wrong. But its job is to maintain that identity. It is much easier to do that when I don’t feel good. You could think of it as Ego being all that aggregated crap around our core self, and you could call that core self as Soul. But that’s just one way to look at it.

The point is, that each of us, when we choose to grow up, will have to deal with our tantrum-y Ego who doesn’t want to put on pants and go to the park, and doesn’t want to eat that, and who likes to hear herself make all that noise about how awful and unfair life is. Ego who deserves to feel bad, and has a right to misbehave because of how terrible it all is.

Why do I choose? How do I let go? What makes me decide to have fun?

When I make little choices to quiet Ego instead of pacifying it, I am closer to my natural life. When I make bigger choices to quiet Ego instead of indulging it, I am choosing my natural life, my infinite perfection.  When I make the big choice to grow up, I choose to let go of deserving to feel bad, or exhausted, or miserable. I choose to feel light and happy. Somedays, that choice is easier for me than others, but I will tell you, making that shift makes everything nicer.

How have I changed from letting Ego run the show to choosing my natural life?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2014 all rights reserved 03172014