Stillness of a Spinning Top
One of my favorite words these days is “stillness.” One of my favorite pastimes these days is going to stillness. I really like it because for so much of my life, stillness was just a theoretical concept.
I have a giant mural of the heart of a forest in my bathroom. I know, kinda dorky, but I get that feeling when I look at it, even though I know how noisy forests can be. Stillness isn’t about quiet.
On my porch, during rush hour, with the river of traffic, and sirens, and horns, and helicopters. Stillness isn’t about a lack of activity.
In the midst of your craziest day, running errands, playing taxi, meeting after meeting, loved ones in need, dinner, laundry, more and more and more. Stillness isn’t about stopping.
Stillness, like peace, like happiness, is inside us. It may be deep, but, baby, it’s there. All you have to do is go there.
Sometimes the path is clear, sometimes the path is barely discernible, but it’s there, nonetheless. Taking the time to find it may seem daunting, a lot of the best things are. And once you find it, it’s yours.
Stillness also isn’t always about going deep inside, sometimes it’s about coming up for air, so to speak, allowing our internal turbulence to fend for itself without our needing to be there, tending it.
Meditation is one way. And there are so many different ways to meditate. I lead guided meditations that produce a state of aware sleep. I practice silent meditation, zen meditation, and on my porch, I practice what I think of as open meditation, where I am aware of my externals, all the sights and sounds and smells and experiences that sitting on the porch brings me.
If the idea of stillness within the busy seems like a contradiction, think of a spinning top, zipping round and round so fast that it looks still.
Stillness happens when we let go of conflict, discord, and negative moral or emotional judgments. Stillness happens when we surrender into the flow of our life, even if that life is spinning like a top.
One of my favorite examples was during my qigong practice, when I found myself spinning like a top. As I watched me spin from the inside, I wondered about dizzy. Then, I realized that “I” was still, while my body swirled around me. My body spun like that for several minutes, and when it stopped, I, the still, inside I, opened my eyes, and the room spun visually for a while, but I was still. Freaky weirdo stuff, I tells ya. Still.
When I choose the path to stillness, I choose to unchoose a lot of things. I choose to be patient, gentle and kind with myself, but also to be firm about my choices. I choose to shed another layer of my fixed delusions. I choose to trust, to let my life flow, and I choose to believe that life is good. I choose to believe that, whatever my circumstances, I can find my place of peace, of stillness, of happiness.
How have I changed from living in discord to feeling harmonious?
(c) Pam Guthrie all rights reserved 03/07/2014
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