Showing posts with label Why am I attractive?. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Why am I attractive?. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

I am a Non-Count Noun

I am a Non-Count Noun

How much is a drop of water? Is a leaf an individual? Does a cell get lonely?

What would it mean if we have existence beyond our skin? We think because our thoughts are private, our feelings,and  our dreams, unless we share them, that somehow we are separate.

What if we aren’t? What would that mean to you? How would you feel? What if our biggest mislearning was that we are isolated?

What would it mean if we all together, were part of a much bigger organism, like a cell in our body, or a leaf on a tree? Or like Thimmamma Marrimanu, the huge banyan tree in India?

These are some wacky ideas, so please bear with me.

I used to think that we were in this together because we were family, or community, or humanity, that is, the same sort of thing. I have had the experience many times now of being part of a whole, of being part of a whole with you. Experiencing our oneness. Wowie kazow.

Why do I connect? How am I engaged? Why do I feel a part of?

When I feel oneness with you, suddenly, taking care of you, caring about you, treating you well, kindly, with love, is the same as taking care of me. It is as important. When my heart breaks, I understand your heartbreak. When my heart fills with joy, I understand your joy.

Empaths get this. They pick up on others’ feelings. Psychics, too. We like to laugh about their skills, like they aren’t true, but those talents are part of how we are connected. And since we are one, working together for our well being is just what we do.

Each time I have had that experience of all is one, I have been filled with love, and light, and bliss, and joy. You do that. When we are together as one, our combined light is dazzling. The thing is, we are always like that. Divine and infinite being that we are. We just don’t see it, we have mislearned ourselves blind to it.

How do I feel connected? What makes me notice? Why am I aware.

The card I drew today is from the blue and yellow deck. The main question is “Why am I attractive?” And one of the “sub” questions is “Why would I be lovable?” That’s what got me thinking. At our core, we are all lovable. At our core, me are we, so to speak. We are greater than we can imagine.

In order to feel this more easily, we need to relax relax relax. We need to let go our fretting about stuff. We need to get out of our heads, into our nice relaxed bodies, and experience ourselves from our belly brains. We don’t get this in our highfalutin, fancy thinker brains, we get this in our gut experience, our intuition, that part of us that is language free. We have to choose to let go of our idea of being separate, and get that it’s just an idea we use.

When I slow down enough to be a part of us, my life becomes richer than I can even experience, it makes me stretch into nicer. I like that.

How have I changed from feeling you and me to knowing we?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2014 all rights reserved 05202014

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Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Lovely Inside and Out

Lovely Inside and Out

One of the saddest things is what happens when we look in the mirror and immediately go to negative emotional judgments about our appearance. 

We think we are too this or not enough that. The color is wrong, the size is wrong, the placement is wrong. Oh, how heartbreaking that we cannot see our bodies as a manifestation of divine beauty. 

Why am I lovable? How am I good-looking? What makes me feel attractive?

We buy into commercial ideas that we have to look a certain way to be attractive, even if it looks creepy. We buy into commercial ideas that we have to fit a little mold of what’s right, even though it’s subjective and based on commerce rather than well being. 

When we tune into media, we are bombarded with images that don’t look like us, we are deluged with words that shame, or degrade, or insult. It’s everywhere; magazines, TV, Internet; any place that has commercials. We are given messages about how we should look, how we should feel if we aren’t “standard.” We start to think that everyone but us is doing X and we are somehow flawed for not, or else we do it, and then wonder why the magic fix didn’t happen. 

Why would I feel desirable? What makes me look good? How am I lovely?

You are a manifestation of divine beauty. Your appearance is a reflection of your perfection, and you are lovely. 

When I relax into my natural life, my inner light shines, I feel radiant. When I am able to shut off my inner critic, and feel my true self, I am luminous. So are you. 

And that’s a really cool thing. When I am living in my natural life, I really see you. I see your beauty, I see your heart, I see your perfection. 

When we think of the people we love with all our heart, the qualities that come to mind may include how they look; how we feel when they smile at us, how we feel when they give us a hug, how we feel when they look thoughtful, or show us compassion. We love them for who they are with us. 

As we grow up, it becomes easier for us to see our luminous self in the mirror. We may make a face, but we change it to a warm and loving smile. 

In fact, this is a nice thing to do every day. Smiling at our own reflection, a real, crinkly-eyed, tooth-baring smile from the heart can set our day on a nice path. Smiling from the heart brings our perfect self closer to the surface. And as we sally forth into our day, with love and gratitude in our hearts and a smile on our lips, people will treat us differently. They will see that light, and be drawn to it. 

Smiling at our own reflection can heal a lot of stuff inside. It can help us feel more forgiving of our mistakes. It can help us feel more compassion for ourselves. It can help us trust our instincts more. 

How have I changed from doubting my attractiveness to owning my divine beauty?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2014 all rights reserved 051414

How do you feel when you feel lovable?

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Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Deflating Abuse

Deflating Abuse

One of my teachers used to say, “If you are feeling fat, ugly, and/or stupid, someone is abusing you.” It might be someone out there, it might be our own selves, but there is abuse there, and we are buying into it.

There are elements to that feeling, that fat-ugly-stupid feeling that go beyond the obvious. The big one is that I’ve decided you can make me feel something. I may have decided that a very long time ago. Maybe that’s some we all mislearn, and then have to unlearn, but there you go.

Fundament one -- I decide how I feel. Why do I trust my emotions? Why can I choose?

Fundament two -- I choose the present moment. Why am I aware? What makes me mindful?

Fundament three -- In this moment, I am perfection. How do I know I am a manifestation of the divine?

Ok, those are three big’uns. Let’s get in a little deeper. We’ve been talking about this a lot lately, how I decide how I feel. My feelings come from my thoughts, and, while I can’t control what thoughts flow through my mind, I can control what thoughts I will think on. In order to do that, I need to be aware of myself, my space and placement in the world, my thoughts, my beliefs, my emotions and feelings, and that is huge. What makes me mindful? Why am I aware?

I choose the present moment. That is the closest thing to real that we get. When I am worrying, I am living in the future. When I feel depressed, I’m living in the past. Over-simplified, but the point is that our purpose in life is to be happy. That means, I need to clean up my crap. When I choose to be present, I can stay afloat. It’s the worry and fear, the blame and guilt, anger and grief that weigh me down. In the 12 step programs, they talk about acting as if, as if we are happy, as if we feel secure, as if we are confident. The trick is, to be working on that while we are acting as if, and Creative Questions will go a long way to helping with that.

Why am I happy? Why do I feel secure? What makes me confident?

In this moment, I am perfect. I am the perfect manifestation of me right now. This doesn’t mean I don’t have plans and goals. I need plans and goals to shape my choices. We are all in process. When I don’t make plans or set goals for myself, I am sort of aimlessly drifting. The opposite of setting goals is complaining, feeling sorry for ourselves.

Sometimes I feel like I have the right, I am entitled, to feel crappy, like the toddler who enjoys throwing a tantrum to the point where the reason for it is lost. When I feel like that, sometimes it’s good for me to wallow in it for a while. Savor feeling rotten, in whatever guise it might be in. It often is a kind of pity party, where somehow I am feeling sorry for myself. What I’ve discovered is that, when I really give in to it, I’m only good for about 15 minutes before I get sick of it and want to go back to feeling good.

When I decide you can’t make me feel stuff, that I am not in competition, that my life is for me to live, a lot of nice things happen, including me feeling more attractive, more lovable, more desirable. I own my power, my wisdom, my creativity. I love for the sake of love, and keep my love for you and me in balance. I take care of me easily, and of you willingly.

How have I changed from feeling unlovable to feeling like a manifestation of divine purpose and being?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2014 all rights reserved 03252014

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Friday, November 29, 2013

How to Find Your Most Beautiful Self

How to Find Your Most Beautiful Self

Oh, you are gorgeous. Your divine self is all shiny and beautiful. I can see that part of you. Can you? Can you see your natural self? Can you see how lovely you are, and how your natural self is so attractive?

Or are you stuck in feeling like you don’t fit in, you don’t match something, you don’t look right? Sometimes we feel like we are too this way, or not enough that way.

Things happen in our lives that mess up our beliefs about how the world works in a whole lot of ways. One of those is about the way we look. We get ideas about how we should look to be attractive, and we often think that the way we should look is the way we don’t look.

We think our face should be different, our muscles should be different. We think we are too tall or short, too fat or skinny, to light or too dark. Our eyes are the wrong color, our feet are too something, or we have a spot.

If you are making your living by your appearance, some of those things may be true, the same way professional athletes have to do different things with their bodies for their jobs. and some people go to extraordinary lengths to change their looks.

This topic has been very interesting to me, especially since I started studying face reading. Wow. Between our faces, our walk, our postures and gestures, we tell each other so much about ourselves. We don’t wear our hearts on our sleeves, but on our faces.

The harder I try to not feel unattractive, the more I struggle to feel attractive, the weirder it can get, and often means I will just feel worse. And possibly just look more and more different.

But here’s the thing. No matter what we look like, when we are relaxed and soften into our natural life, we are radiantly gorgeous. It’s part of the deal. The more we let go of bad, old beliefs, mistrust of the Universe, self-hate and -punishment, the more of our True selves we have.

How do I know I am beautiful? What makes me attractive? Why do I feel lovely?

There is a difference between taking care of ourselves, and struggling to make ourselves attractive. There is a difference between pampering ourselves, and punishing ourselves. The more we relax our thoughts, our emotions, our bodies, the easier it is for us to choose taking care, and pampering over punishing and struggling.

The more we move away from trying to fit a standard, and embrace our true self with love, the more we show up, in our true self, in our natural gorgeous appearance, radiating peace, and satisfaction, bliss and contentment. People see us for who we are at our center, not for our past, or our history or our story.

We respond to the world, then, from our core, our perfect self. We see the world with compassionate eyes, with patient ears, with gentle and powerful touch, with wisdom, and boundaries, and love. And as we show up this way in the world, we create space for our people to find their core, their perfect selves, their natural lives. We can talk and talk, but it’s by living our talk that we make that space happen for our loved ones, for ourselves.

And when we look in the mirror, then, we smile with love at this beautiful person who has done so much to make our life comfortable, joyful, satisfying, and peaceful -- our very own self.

How have I changed from feeling ugly or less than, to seeing the truth of my radiant, beautiful self?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 11292013
Please do not buy a deck of Creative Questions Cards today. If you have the day off from work, find someones you love to spend some time with, feel grateful for something, and peace in.