People is Just All Y’All

People is Just All Y’All

Back in the Before Times, I used to joke, albeit bitterly, “I like people, it’s the individuals I can’t stand.”

It was defensive dislike. I figured if I didn’t like you first, you’d never find out how awful I was. I was so afraid of you, of your negative moral judgements of me, afraid of your anger, your neediness, your capricious decisions that hurt me. I just did what I could to stay away.

Little by little, I came to see that you weren’t like that, I was wrong. Oh, how wonderful that was! I saw that you were loving, and kind, and took care of yourself, both your physical needs, and your emotional ones. You didn’t judge me, or punish me, or hurt me on a whim. In fact, you turned out to be really great!

And as I got used to the idea that you weren’t out to get me, I could start to see me more clearly, and I could start to change the things about me that I didn’t like. It meant that I could see you, not as a paragon, but as a person, a nice person I liked, who had  some stuff.

Everyone has stuff.

My job is to address my stuff and clear it out. I want my emotional basement to sparkle. I know that, because I’m human, I will always be shoving stuff down there, unopened boxes of fear or traumas, anger, that sort of thing, but I am also dealing with it regularly.

This may not be on your priority list, resolving your stuff, that is. and if not, you might want to reconsider your stand. On the other hand, you are reading this, so I think you want stuff to be better, you want your life to be better, more fun, more love, more satisfaction, and easier.

Creative Questions will help you do that. In fact, changing your thinking is the only thing that will do that, whatever technique you use. That’s how we change our behavior, both external, and internal.

I know, it’s kind of funny to think of having internal behavior. But we do. We have a bunch of relationships that just exist in our minds, and bodies. We have different “selves” who are giving us advice about everything, who say stuff like, “Don’t go into your emotional basement! It’s dangerous!”  Or, “You can do this! You are amazing! Go for it!”

Well, let’s push the metaphor a bit. You have a lovely home, beautiful yard, interesting, attractive things, but there is a horrible odor that permeates everything. Opening the windows doesn’t help. Air fresheners don’t touch it, and you never quite get use to it. It’s worse than cat pee.

It’s coming up from your emotional basement where things have been mouldering since your childhood.

Until we integrate and resolve our past, it will inform our everything, every thought, every belief, every feeling. It will create our present, and our future and we will be subject to it whether we like or no.

I don’t know about you, but I’d rather not live a stinky life. So I do what I need to. I have lots of tools available to me, and wonderful teachers and healers, loving friends who support me, and sacred spaces where I refresh. I know how to ask for help. I can say yes, and no. I can set boundaries, I can experience my emotions. I can change my thoughts and my behavior. I can live easy.

How have I changed from fearing people to recognizing that “people” is just you all?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 05092013