Tuesday, September 24, 2013

How to Use Your Sword of Power

How to Use Your Sword of Power

One of the many things I found baffling in the sorry days of yesteryear was the whole idea of personal power. It made no sense to me, mainly because I had no sense of it. Funny how that stuff goes.

You probably already get this, but I gotta say, it was a serious revelation to me. So let’s lift our Swords of Power and get going.

At the bottom of it all, we are each responsible for own selves. Whether we own and act on that responsibility is, of course, another matter.

I can’t actually give away my power. And you can’t take it from me.  (Oo, the victim inside me is getting pissed.)

What I do is choose to act as though you have my power. That choice is usually out of my consciousness, based on habits I established a long time ago when I was a little child and my access route to my personal power was just developing. People who had authority over me abused that authority, and royally screwed up my system.

The whos, whys, and wherefores of that don’t fundamentally matter. That’s story. It’s good to tell to get it out, so it’s not a secret, but the telling is not necessary to heal.

What matters is that I correct it.

Once I am an adult, you cannot victimized me. I victimize me in your name. You can be horrible to me, but I have the power to decide whether you will vanquish my spirit. You cannot get inside my mind, I create a version of me that looks like you inside my mind. Then I can blame that avatar, and then blame you, and I get to feel vindicated. Except that I feel like a powerless victim.

Oh, that made me so mad! I fought it for a long time. And when at last I accepted it, I felt such glorious freedom.

You cannot force me to join your rubber room party. If you are inviting me to feel crazy with you, I have to choose whether to go along.

I can choose to be clean and separate from your shenanigans. I can choose to be clean and separate from your anger, or fear, or madness. I can choose to leave, or to allow, or to change. Me, I can. I have the POWER!

How do I know I am powerful? How do I know I am responsible for me? What makes me grow up?

If I want more confidence, all I need to do is take more responsibility for how I feel, and realize that I can choose to think a thought, or not think a thought. This is part of what meditation does for us, and one of the best reasons to practice. I learn to allow my thoughts to flow, and not have to follow them, and if I do follow one, I learn to pull back to stillness, which is the source of our personal power.

When I own my power, I am confident. I don’t need to worry because I trust that I will know what to do as my life unfolds. When I own my power, it is easier for me to love you unconditionally because I know that you can’t make me. So I can let all that go, and open my heart to you.

How have I changed from feeling powerless to lifting my Sword of Power?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 09242013

No comments: