Banishing the Monsters in the Basement

Banishing the Monsters in the Basement

What follows will be a bit challenging. You know I like to warn you about that.

Here’s the thing. I get this life. I don’t know about reincarnation, or afterlife, or anything like that, so until I have proof, I get this life.

The first chunk of it was deeply challenging. As a kid, I would ask my adults to tell me about their childhoods, wanting to find some common ground maybe, or some compassion for them, and mostly the answer I got was, “I don’t remember.”

I decided that I would remember. I practiced remembering. Seriously. I would be in the middle of doing something and say to myself, “remember this.” I buried the memories of a lot of trauma and abuse, but I still had access to a lot of my childhood play, and friends, and school, and home.

When I got into therapy, I processed a lot of those memories, and more that came up, and little by little I released a lot of trauma, a lot of emotional angst and pain and terror.

I get this life.

How do I want to live it? Do I want to live it at the mercy of old, unconscious crap that forces me into behaviors and beliefs that leave me feeling like I don’t like me, I don’t like what I do, I don’t like you? Feeling like there is something wrong with me, feeling crappy in general?

I don’t.

Why do I choose to examine my life? Why do I choose to be positive? Why do I choose to let go the trauma of my past? Why do I look at my past with courage and compassion?

I hear people say that they did some therapy, and that’s enough. Are you happy? Are you content and satisfied with the quality of your life? Do you still have emotional issues that grab you by the throat and throw you to the ground?

Choosing to clean up our unconscious minds leaves us with a lot of energy, energy we used to use holding our demons at bay. Feeling happy also energizes us, spirit fills us and we are fair to bursting with good will and joi de vivre. We now want to bring our dreams to life, to help our loved ones find happiness, to notice how good things are to the world.

I can’t do that when I am leaning against my unconscious mind’s basement door trying to keep my monsters at bay. Even if I’m not aware of it, that will take up a good chunk of juice, and leave me feeling unsettled, kinda scared, worried, miserable, and like I fail a lot.

Owning my whole life, the good with the bad, helps me see how I am a whole person. It helps me flow with whatever happens because I have been through awful stuff and not only survived, but thrive and have fun. By cleaning out my emotional basement, I have way more room to be the person I want to be.

How have I changed from holding back my monsters to dealing with them until they are done?

© Pam Guthrie 2014 all rights reserved 10162014