Dumping the Zings

Dumping the Zings

So part of this “Why am I happy” campaign of mine includes finding better ways of dealing with stress than a fifth of bad scotch before bed.

One really great way I’ve found is to avoid it. Yeah, it’s kind of obvious, but just bear with me.

Think about your morning time. Do you love it? Is it time for you? Are you spending some of that morning time on something that really matters to you personally?

When we start our day in chaos, we set ourselves up for the rest of the day. By noticing where we get rushed or stress, and changing that, we can start our day with our peace on.

I raced around in the morning trying to find the stuff I needed to take with me, trying to figure out what I was going to wear, and the other sock. And suddenly, there wasn’t enough time to dry my hair, and I couldn’t find my bus card or my keys. And now I am going to be late. Again. ARRRGGGGG!!!

Now, ten minutes in the evening and I’ve laid my clothes out, with socks, packed my bag, and keys and bus card are where they are supposed to be. And if I wash my hair tonight, my morning is peaceful.

When we take a step back and see where we create our own stresses, we can start finding resolutions for those stressors.

Why am I so creative? How do I see solutions? Why do resolutions come easily to me?

I stop stressing over traffic when I think of it as an opportunity to be alert and patient at the same time, like a weird video game.

Knowing where I am on that scale of one to ten with one being relaxed and ten being stressed can be useful. The more I let myself go to stressed the more yelly and sweary I get. Now, I think being yelly can be really fun, and I love Halloween as my personal Holiday of Screams. Screaming is also mega fun, and I will, from time to time, scream into pillows so’s not to scare the neighbors. But I digress.

Yelly isn’t fun when I’m mad. And I get to mad faster when I’m feeling stressed.

So what else can I do to ease my stress? I’ve learned to handle tasks that will only take a couple minutes as they come up. Did you know that it takes nine seconds to change a roll of toilet paper? Two minutes to clean the cat box. Two minutes to take out the trash and recycling. Thirty seconds to wash my cup, and that includes waiting for the water to get hot.

Little things don’t build up into overwhelming things. I like that.

I also look for pockets of time where I can stop for a few minutes in the middle of things. It’s like a quicky body-scan meditation. I notice my feet, become aware of my toes, notice up my legs, notice my breath. Sometimes, I will take a few moments, cover my eyes, and block my ears and just listen to my insides. It reminds me that I am not my stress. I am a being with resources.

How have I changed from feeling tight as a violin string ready to snap to feeling relaxed, peaceful, and centered?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 11202013

Cure For a Relax Relapse

Cure For a Relax Relapse

For you on the email list, I get my daily inspiration by pulling a card from the Creative Questions deck of cards. I pulled the” Why is it so easy?” card this morning for the second time in three days. I love it when a random draw focuses me on a particular topic.

Why is it so easy? Why can I relax? What makes it effortless?

I am playing a little mind game this week. I printed out a map whose orientation is South Pole on top. It means that where I live, in Minnesota, is now at the bottom of the US, not the top. It makes me feel a little weird to think of North as down, and South as up.

Arbitrary notions that we cleave to like they are true as breath.

We have a lot of arbitrary notions when it comes to ourselves, each other, and life in general. We behave as though they are true. They aren’t. When I think my arbitrary thoughts are true, and they are at odds with your arbitrary thoughts, we gots trouble.

One of our most treasured arbitrary notions is around stress. We believe in it with all our taxed, exhausted, sorrowful hearts.

Our reactions to stressful situations is a learned behavior. Really and truly. That is wonderful news because it means we can unlearn it and replace those reactions with new responses. Why is it so easy?

When I first encountered this idea I thought it was a cruel joke. But I started to practice with little stressors, and, Lo. I find that I stay calmer way higher on the Stressful Situation scale. Really and truly. Sometimes it surprises me, and I have to double check the calm.

Why can I relax?

I have said it before, and I will say it again. There is no situation in the world that stressing over can’t make worse.

There isn’t one thing that everyone stresses out over, except maybe birth. I don’t know about that one. Babies are so challenging to interview. Point is, stress is arbitrary and personal, and therefore we can change it.

First, you have to believe. Decide that there is a stress loophole, and you can use it. Decide that you can learn to stay calm and present and flow. Decide that you are worth learning to live easy.

Second, you have to notice how and when you stress out. Or stress in. Me, I check in with my shoulders a lot. It’s where we carry our burdens, you know, the weight of the world on our shoulders. I imagine all by stuff packed into baskets on my shoulders, and I imagine taking them off, and setting them down.

I will shrug, roll them around, do a little stretching, imagining the sense of burden falling away. I’ve used meditation, hypnosis, talk therapy, yoga, swimming, to transform stress into happy action. I like to think of it as transforming stress rather than as relieving stress. Relief always seems so temporary.

I will ask, “Why could I relax? What makes my life so easy? Why do things go my way? What makes it all so much fun?” I attend to my point of view, and shift it back to the higher vibration.

How can I feel more relaxed in this very moment?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 08152013