SunAgape's Spot: gratitude list

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Happiness Runs

Do you know why I encourage us to have a gratitude practice? Do you know why I encourage us to look for the good? Or to find the gift?

Here’s a little visual for you to try. Look down, dropping your head all the way. What do you see? Now lift your chin, and look out. What do you see?

When we feel burdened by our circumstances, when we rehearse everything that sucks, when we seek out the cloud, it’s like we have dropped our head to our chest and all we can see is ourself, our misery, our crummy life. Our view is small and pretty much just us. Maybe a bit of floor, or chair. The head-hanging pose is the pose of suffering, and it makes our life so small.

When I start my day thinking about the good from yesterday, the good I have now, and the good I have planned, I am lighter. My brain makes nice, juicy chemicals that help me feel good inside. I can lift my head up and see the world I am creating from an uplifted point of view.

That makes room for me to be a part of the world, instead of when I am in misery and I am it.

When I am part of the world, I want to bring my special gifts out to share. Or I want some help to figure out what my special gifts might be.

Why do I choose positive? How am I upbeat? What makes me choose?

When I choose to be part of the world, I want to do my best, and be my best. I know I have all the support I need just by asking, I know I am resourceful, and capable. competent and strong, and so I relax. A lot. And as I relax, I move into my natural life.

In my natural life, I am relaxed, and powerful. I am creative and brilliant. I trust that things will work out. I do good work, and feel satisfied, with my efforts, and content. I have a strong sense of my direction, what I want to accomplish, what I want in life. I move through the world, and respond to all sorts of things with bliss and joy.

When we put these pieces together, we notice that we feel happy, from the inside out. That happiness is free and flowing, and we want to share it, so we find ourselves smiling more, doing little nice things for others that feel effortless, and we notice other people doing nice little things. We find ourselves thinking better of each other, hopeful for humanity.

Thing is, when we do these little nice things, the smile, the kind word, it spreads. We are finding that these things spread way faster, and broader than the misery stuff. Maybe that’s because misery is so isolated, so specific to our own self. When we see a stranger grumping down the street, we don’t automatically go to grump, but a stranger smiling at us, that makes us smile.

What makes me happy? How am I content? Why would I be joyful?

Smiling is also a mechanical mood lifter. That is, if I am feeling blue, I can sit up straight, lift my chin a bit, and smile a big smile, all the way to my eyes, and it will release those feel good chemicals into my body. I can totally enhance the experience by asking good Creative Questions.

How have I changed from seeking happiness outside me to finding it at my core?

Sunday, January 12, 2014

Break Me Off a Piece of That Gratitude

Some time back I started a little practice first thing in the morning, namely, writing out appreciations from the previous day. Taking a few minutes to look for the good in the day before has proved to be an interesting and valuable exercise. On the one hand, I have had some very interesting days, shall we say, and yet, on the other hand, I have always found things that I appreciate, shimmering pools of gratitude, no matter how challenging the day has been.

I’ve been curious to notice that the days when I am really sluggish about finding jewels in the previous day have little to do with the quality of the day. Rather, it has to do with waking up feeling pissy, or glum, or some other thought-driven mood.

Because I have made the commitment to write out that daily list, which I publish on facebook, I make myself go looking. Often, just that little effort will pull me out from the doldrums.

When it doesn’t, I look for the thoughts. Sometimes I can find them pretty easily, but sometimes those pesky thoughts are unconscious. Then I have to put on my Sherlock hat and grab a lamp and go looking deep inside.

One of the things I’ve learned is that a bad dream can put me in a bad mood. Even one I don’t remember. Oy. Talk about thoughts becoming things. Cheery music, moving around, like a walk, or dancing a bit, even just flapping my arms around, can help bust that up. Especially when I add in a liberal dollop of Creative Questions.

Why would I choose to lighten up? How could I feel glad? How do I feel when I feel sunny?

When I take time to appreciate the blessings and bounty in my life, when I notice my gratitude, and let myself feel it, I feel good. I feel satisfied and usually I feel more connected to you. My life seems nicer, I feel replete.

I lived with a little cat who was so busy begging for attention that she never noticed when she got it, poor little punkin. I could have her all cuddled up in my arms, and she would still be pawing at my face.

Feeling grateful helps us slow down enough to notice what is going on with us, so we can notice that we are getting what we are asking for, and change what we are asking for if it’s not what we actually want. You might wanna read that again. It’s tricky.

When we slow down a bit, we have room to remember to relax. When we relax we move in closer to our natural lives; easy, satisfying, joyful, creative. Feeling grateful is almost automatic, and the more we find to be grateful for, the more opportunities we have to be grateful.

As we get more proficient in our gratitude practice, we may notice that we find things of value in our challenges. We may notice that a situation is actually a pattern we’ve been playing out for ages. We may realize that in that situation we believe something bad or wrong about ourselves, and can change it. Now that’s something to be grateful for. Or we may notice that we are stronger or smarter than we thought we were. Sometimes, we may find that we’ve been spending time or energy on something that doesn’t even need to be done, or that there is something we haven’t done that would make a nice difference for us.

How have I changed from flying through my life to taking a daily gratitude break?