My Trusty Choice

My Trusty Choice

One of the most powerful decisions I have made in my life was the decision to trust. On the one hand, it’s a huge leap from living in fear to living in trust. On the other hand, at our core, it’s how we really are.

I will freely admit that making this choice was a challenge. I will freely admit that it took a lot of regular practice. I will gladly admit that it was so beyond worth it.

Why do I trust? How do I choose trust? What makes me want to trust?

A dear friend uses the phrase, “faith or fear.” I like that. The point is, simply, that fear is a choice.

I know that it doesn’t feel like that. Believe me. I spend years with terror as my emotional underpinning. It was hellish. And I was living in a bad situation, so it was also reasonable. There wasn’t much I could do as a kid, but as an adult, I have choices. One of those choices is to assess my circumstances and make some decisions. If I am in a bad situation, I can choose to change it. If I am not, but going to fear from habit, I can change the habit.

When I live in fear, I am often exhausted. When I live in fear, I don’t feel well much of the time. My muscles hurt, as do my joints. I often have digestive issues. I may be plagued with nightmares and poor sleep in general. I may feel depressed and not even know it. All sorts of stress-related maladies can plague me. I see the world as a grim and wicked place, I see you as something of a menace even if I love you. I believe that this is the way the world is.

Oy.

Choosing trust is, as the saying goes, a leap of faith. It is coming to recognize that the idea of reality being fixed is a mislearning. Nothing is “just the way it is.” Giving up the notion that I am “just the way I am” means that I can let go of the things that hurt me, the behaviors that hold me back, the relationships that eat my soul.

Choosing trust means that I can start taking responsibility for myself. Wow. I can take responsibility for being in my circumstances and so I can start modifying them to bring me deeper into my natural life. I  take responsibility for my happiness, my state of mind, in general, and that gives me the power to choose how I feel, to choose my thoughts, to choose my beliefs.

When I choose trust, I trust that I will find the resources  I need, that the circumstances that come up for me will be useful and bring me a deeper understanding of myself and of you. I discover that this deeper understanding brings peace with it.

When I choose trust, I stop feeling like everything is personal. I understand that you treat me the way you feel about yourself, I remember that you can only see me through your filters, that I can only see you through mine. I remember that filters are not Truth.

When I choose trust, I am choosing my natural life. My natural life is joyful. It is peaceful and playful, creative, productive, and purposeful. My life feels meaningful. Bliss is normal. I see beauty and kindness.

How have I changed from living in fear to choosing to trust?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2015 all rights reserved 10052015

Living Easy

Living Easy

One of the priceless blessings of deciding to be a grownup is the fact that things are, for the most part, easy.

Maybe not always simple, but when I do what I’ve learned to do, easy is the way it goes. That in and of itself is not very useful information, and I like to give you useful information. So here goes.

Life is easier when I am aware of my resources. Because I live now, in an urban area, I am awash in resources.  I have family and friends, communities full of people who love to help, Because I am a grownup, I can ask for help when I need it and old feelings of being a burden or that I should be able to do it myself aren’t an issue.

How am I so resourceful?

Life is easier when I am not dominated by my feelings. When I let crappy thoughts run my life, life is hard. I have terrible feelings, sometimes even suicidal ideas. I think awful things about myself, other people and the world. I tell myself these thoughts are true. Because I am a grownup, I know I choose my thoughts, and when I notice that I’m thinking crap, I change my mind, and think on stuff that supports me, lightens my heart and shoulders, and energizes me.

How do I know I choose my thoughts?

Life is easier when I know I am not my labels. When I let my labels define me, I limit myself, cut myself off from aspects of who I am that can be wonderful to know. I am an infinite being, all the way in and all the way out. Because I am a grownup, I do not need to abide by artificial limits set by a label.

What makes me see that I am a divine creation?

Life is easier when I slow down a bit on the inside. When I am racy on the inside, I miss a ton of little things that refresh me during the day; a glimpse of beauty or humor in an unexpected place, catching someone doing a kindness for someone else, a compliment or appreciation, the list is varied and endless. Because I am a grownup, I can slow down inside and savor all the tiny moments that make life so lovely, and when I feel fresh, it’s all so easy.

How do I savor life?

The most important thing to do if you want your life to be easier is to decide that life can be easy: life’s a bitch, or life’s a beach; it’s up to you. Deciding that your life can be easy doesn’t mean that interesting stuff doesn’t happen. Cars break down, bodies have stuff, communications can wonk out, taxes need to be filed.

When I believe that life is easy and my car breaks, I have AAA, or good samaritans show up, or something else. I remember that I am in charge of my thoughts and feelings, and I choose to be light-hearted instead of a crabby-ass.  My helpers have fun with me, and it’s become easy.

When I have interesting communications coming up, I imagine how I want the communication to go. It’s weird, but sometimes, just spending a few moments imagining how I want it to go can be the difference that makes a difference.

When I trust that things can be easy, things get easier.

How have I changed from believing life is hard to knowing life is easy?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 11032013