Ms Yahbut Go Home

Ms Yahbut Go Home

When I was a little kid, my dad would tease us about the two other little girls who lived in our house (we were four little girls, and no boys.) The imaginary girls’ names were Yahbut and Yahshedidtoo. Nowadays, I think Yahshedidtoo has moved out, but Yahbut is still here. I think you know her too.

Yahbut is annoying. She interrupts when we are trying to receive nice compliments. She throws in her two cents worth when we start feeling proud of ourselves. We begin to treat ourselves with respect and she is right there shouting, “Wait a minute! Before you do anything rash, listen to this!” And the next thing you know, she’s whispering in our ear all the things she thinks we should be feeling ashamed of, or guilty about, how disgusting we are, or corrupt, or just plain old bad.

Oh, Yahbut, when will you move away to live with your sister and leave me alone! How about today?

Yahbut is a bad thought loop that gets triggered by our nice feelings about ourselves. How sad is that. It goes on and on about how much we suck. About how selfish, or thoughtless, or cruel, or lazy, or sinful, or, or, or.

Feeling like that isn’t very useful except to keep us down, keep our light from shining, keep us from sharing our gifts. Yahbut isn’t very nice.

Imagine how you would feel if you heard someone speaking to a loved one the way you talk to yourself. And yet, we say horrible things to ourselves all the time. Critical of just about everything from our appearance all the way to our spirit.

We want to stop that, because as grownups we know it’s not in our best interest to beat ourselves up. It squelches motivation, it curtails positive action, it breaks our hearts.

Why am I good enough? Why am I right? Why am I respectable? Why would I like me?

Breaking ourselves of the habit of trash-talking ourselves takes some attention. When we are paid a compliment, we now say “Thank you” and shut up. We don’t dismiss it, we don’t mitigate it, we don’t ignore it. When we start to diss ourselves after we’ve accomplished something, we stop, pause, and notice our accomplishment, own it, and let ourselves feel some pride. We don’t just move on to the next thing.

When we notice that we are talking smack about ourselves, we start asking our good Creative Questions. When we notice that we suddenly feel bad, we assume that our unconscious mind is talking smack, and we start asking good Creative Questions. We check our posture, and our breathing. We notice our facial expression, and sit up straight, breath deeply, and smile from the heart.

How am I enough? Why am I brilliant? What makes me so creative? Why do I engage? Why do I like myself?

When I don’t like me, I often surround me with people who support me in feeling like that. As I like me more and more, I find that I am surrounded with people who support me in feeling like that. What a nice improvement.

How have I changed from treating myself badly to valuing my own friendship?

(c) Pam Guthrie all rights reserved 02212014

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It's All for Me

It’s All for Me

The environment. We hear about it all the time, usually awful things on the news. Doom and gloom, lots of stuff to get us upset, or depressed, or even feel despair.  

Things shift a bit when we start to think of it as “my environment.”

My environment, in some important ways, is like an extension of my body. I live in my body, I live in my environment. My behavior has an impact on my body, and on my environment. My body can be well, or experience degrees of dis-ease. And, yes, the same in my environment.

When I didn’t know some stuff, back in the dark ages, I spent a lot of time correcting my body. I overtaxed it, underfed it, deprived it of sleep, abused it in many ways, and most of all, deprived it of love.

I felt like my body was my enemy.

Now, we live in our environment. How are we here? Are we trying to correct it, as though it is an enemy? As though it is out to get us? Overtaxing it, poisoning it, or overfeeding? I don’t need to draw the analogy out, you understand what I mean.

My environment is not my enemy, it is here to support my well being. Am I being as respectful of my environment as I am of my body?

I find that it helps me make decisions if I think about eating or drinking what I’m putting into my garden. I’m way more likely to use the least powerful, effective stuff.

I find that it helps me make decisions if I think about the child of a future generation unearthing my junk in a landfill, or a bird caught in my six-pack rings. What makes me considerate?

When I remember that what I do, how I do it, has an impact on me, on you, on my environment, I make better decisions.  Why would I care?

When I remember that the universe is here to support me, as is my environment, and my body, I feel really humbled. Am I making good use of my remarkable support? Am I making good use of my gifts? Am I being present in all this splendor? Do I let me relax enough to be aware of the awesomeness of my being alive, here, now?

When I soften, lighten up, relax; when I stop worrying, intellectualizing, and blaming, I am living my natural life. I am naturally happy, from the inside, I am naturally satisfied by what I do, I am blissed out by the beauty that surrounds me. I am productive and joyful. I feel connected and engaged. When I live my natural life, I am being a grownup, or evolved, or enlightened, or whatever you like to call it. I am naturally respectful of my body, and yours. I am naturally respectful of my environments. I am respectful and appreciative of the gifts I bring and the gifts I receive. I naturally take responsibility for me, my behavior, my thoughts, feelings, and beliefs.

When I relax into my natural life, I recognise the treasure I am surrounded by, and enjoy the heck out of it.

How have I changed from being oblivious, to appreciating my environment?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 10122013