So Many Blessings on My Head

So Many Blessings on My Head

As I stepped out the door today, I noticed a thought that almost got away. “How will the world delight me today?”

It was an easy thought today. The sky is bright, the birds were singing their little hearts out, the lilacs are ready to go. The recent rain has scrubbed everything fresh and clean. The world is very appealing today.

Wasn’t always the case. Use to be that “out” was scary. I was flinchy most of the time, and expected to “get got” pretty much every time I left the house. I expected horrible traffic with scary situations. I expected crabby, sullen, unhelpful clerks. I expect to get ripped off, that everything would be hard, that people would be jerks.

I was rarely disappointed.

How sad.

Thank goodness we understand our experience filters, and that filtering for crap, we will mostly just see crap, and filtering for delights, we will mostly find delights.

That Creative Question I posed at the beginning might be better phrased as, “How will I find the world delightful today?” Or maybe, “How will I be delighted today?”

Over and over, we find places where the difference between a wonderful time and a horrible time is just our point of view. Where the difference between a great day and a crap day is our attitude. Where delight and disappointment come up based on my expectations. Am I looking for the silver lining or the cloud, the doughnut or the hole, the dying worms on the sidewalk or the rainbow.

Recently, I have been seeing a lot of stuff online that is basically saying that happiness is overrated. As someone who has been desperately unhappy, and happy, I will go with happy. I’m not talking about the “I got a new car/puppy/cordless drill” kind of happy, but soul-happy, the kind that comes up from the core.

Those happiness-doesn’t-matter people talk about how important feeling on purpose is. They don’t understand that when I am soul-happy, I am on purpose. I am contented and satisfied at the end of my day. I am relaxed and joyful. I find bliss all over the place. And the world is out to delight me at every turn, from a subtle scent in the air, to happy critters, to a little bit of beauty tucked away somewhere.

How could nature empower me? Why would my environment support me? How else is all creation for my well being?

Now, I’m not just talking seeing pretty stuff outside, I’m even talking cash appearing when I really needed it, unregistered gift cards, magical parking spots. Thank you, World.

How have I changed from cringing from the world to enjoying it’s blessings?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2014 all rights reserved 05212014

Practicing Appreciating

Practicing Appreciating

If you want to make a big change in your life quickly and pretty easily, start a Gratitude Practice, or Appreciations Practice.

It’s very simple. All you do is take a little bit of time to write down a few things, three minimum, you have appreciated or are grateful for in the last 24 hours, and share them.

I will let you in on a secret, cuz that’s what I do. I used to think there wasn’t anything I could do everyday that wasn’t part of my autonomic nervous system, or digestion. Turned out, I was wrong. Turned out you make the difference. When I choose to report to you, so to speak, that I have done my task, I am way more likely to do it.

Why do I choose a daily practice? What makes me take me seriously? How do I feel when I feel worth it?

I like to use social media for my sharing purposes. You can share with a live person, or by email or phone, too. The point is to make it an every single day thing. This is important for at least a couple reasons.

Reason One: Feeling gratitude and appreciation for stuff in our lives brings us closer to living our natural lives, and happiness. A primary component of soul-happiness is appreciation.

Reason Two: Having a daily practice we are committed to helps us remember to make the tiny choices we want to make every day. When I decided to stop using alcohol and drugs, I did that every day, sometimes more than once a day. I choose happy every day. It may take me a chunk of the day to get there, but it is very rare that I don’t spend at least some of everyday happy. (How wonderful to realize that!)

There will be exceptions because stuff happens. Sometimes I have connectivity issues with my Chromebook and can’t get to a wifi place; doesn’t happen very often. Once, I was too sick to sit up for a couple days, so I didn’t write. From time to time, I get interrupted, and so things get delayed. But, my intention is to do it, so I get back to it as fast as I can.

How do I own my power? Why am I responsible for me? How do I feel when I am competent?

When I start my day appreciating, I kind of set myself up to look for stuff to appreciate. I am in the habit now, and so I find that I will take note of things I might have missed. I am more aware of unexpected beauty, the unexpected gift in a sticky situation, the surprise blessing. And I find that thinking about that which I found of value in my day before I go to sleep helps me sleep much better than when I would rehearse why my day sucked.

I even look at the crappy things that happen and find gifts. Sometimes, it’s the opportunity to practice patience or humility, or compassion, or non-attachment. Sometimes, it’s the opportunity to be creative, or to deeply experience an emotion, or to engage with someone in a new way.

I like Greek Philosophy and have found some really valuable stuff there. Look at your life and who you are. Learn about yourself. Rehearse scenarios in your head. (I like to add that I need to rehearse them in such a way that I stay calm and centered. I like to vary them, so I am flexible. I also look for the best outcomes.) Hot and cold are relative. A lot of things are dependent on our point of view. (Plato, Aristotle, and Democratus, if you were wondering.)

How have I changed from taking for granted to appreciating my wonderful life?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2014 all rights reserved 03182014

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Mapping Happiness

Mapping Happiness

A lot of things have changed over the years. Cell phones are amazing and freeing. GMOs maybe not so much. One of the changes I’ve had is to go from being an emotions hater to an emotions lover.

I know I’ve used this analogy before, but I like it. Emotions are our system’s GPS. They let us know where we are with our thinking, with our beliefs, with our behavior, with our view of the world.

One of the beliefs I have adopted is the notion that we can, here on earth, transcend suffering and choose happiness. Not McMansion-hot-cars-jewels-and-furs happiness, but a profound soul happiness. I believe that we all have that soul happiness deep within us, and that we all have access to the tools and resources we need to uncover it. I believe that our emotions let us know when we are on course, or off course.

How do my emotions support me? What makes me own my feelings? Why do I know what I like?

Something I’ve noticed about me is that I like stuff, and I don’t like stuff. That changes, like oil on water on a breezy day, all flowing and glowing. Knowing that my preferences change really helped me with this whole thinking about happiness and emotions.

So here are some ideas I’ve had. I am just knocking them around in my head to see what comes out. If you have opinions about them, I would love to hear them.

I feel sad when I feel I have lost something I like. Or when I feel I have acquired something I don’t like.

I feel scared when I feel I may lose something I like. Or when I feel I may acquire something I don’t like.

I feel angry when I feel I am losing something I like. Or when I feel I am acquiring something I don’t like.

So, when I am feeling clear and centered and present, I usually own where I am at, and feel happy. Sometimes I even feel joyful or blissed out.

When I am feeling one of the basic seven emotions, I look at my likes and dislikes, and, if I can own them, I can often get back to feeling clear and centered and present. Sometimes, I have feelings, what I think of as complex sets of thoughts and emotions. Sorting out my feelings can take longer, still going to my current likes and dislikes really helps.

Sometimes I feel crazy.

That feeling used to scare me (I felt like I might lose my mind.) What really helped me with that feeling was remembering that my conscious thought is about 12% of all my thought, and that sometimes, I have big stuff bouncing around in my unconscious mind. When that happened in the old days, I would get anxious and stressed, and feel like I was crazy. Now, I relax, get meditative, and often the unconscious material will pop up and the crazy feeling will go away.

I love this Leonard Cohen line: Only one thing made him happy, and now that it was gone, everything made him happy.

How have I changed from suffering to being soul-happy?

(c) Pam Guthrie all rights reserved 03062014

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