SunAgape's Spot: play. imagination

Monday, April 07, 2014

Working That Attitude Thing

Why do I try my best? What makes me give my all? How do I deliver excellence?

How do you feel when you see those questions? Happy? Excited? Anxious? Hopeless?

Feeling productive, feeling accomplished, feeling pride in what we do; these things are so important to our well being. It’s one of the reasons we ask these questions a lot.

I used to think that my productivity, my attitude, my results, were partly dependent on you. If you told me I was worthless, I didn’t work as hard, because why bother, and then I sink into the misery of low self-esteem. Or I redoubled my efforts to try to get you to change your mind. What a sad mislearning, not taking responsibility for myself.

But, here we are, again, with that attitude thing. I know, I know, what a pain in the patootie, that attitude thing. The sooner I can accept that I can change my attitude, the sooner I can start living my nice life.

If I have a job I hate, I have at minimum three choices. (This works for a lot of situations.)

I can accept it. That is not the same thing as resigning myself to it. Giving up and letting go are two different things. The first drops me into hopelessness and despair. The second is about releasing our negative judgments and finding a way to accept, maybe even love, our situation.

I can change it. Now, accepting a situation will often require us to change inside. Sometimes what we need to do is change things on the outside. Perhaps what I need to do is find an ally, or swap tasks with someone. Maybe I need to change my hours, or my work station. Sometimes this is all it takes to make things better.

I can leave it. For many of us, this seems like a great solution to a crummy situation, but here is an icky truth about leaving. If the situation is a pattern for us, we will find it wherever we go, and we will be confronted with our pattern again and again until we resolve it. There are lots of ways to resolve our patterns, but do it we must if we want to stop repeating ourselves.

And now, since I have accepted it, changed it, or cleanly left it, I am back to my natural life. I am naturally service minded. I want to contribute to my communities. I want to deliver excellence, and I will go the extra mile for the joy of it.

Why do I like what I do? Why can I choose? Why am I happy? What makes me feel efficient? How am I effective? Why am I on purpose?

So often, all I need to do is find a compelling reason to do something I don’t want to do, and I can enjoy it, or find satisfaction in the doing, or feel virtuous, or proud, or something.

Sometimes, I can turn it into play. I can see how quickly I can get something done well. I can see how many Xs I can finish in a block of time. I can pretend to be someone who enjoys the task, make up a name, a persona, and let myself become that person for a while, like I did when I was little. Sometimes, I can resort to self-bribery; I get to do X after I have done Y.

Whatever it takes to make it mine.

How have I changed from hating what I do to finding the value, finding the gift?

Did you get a little inspiration to make your tasks more fun, or interesting? Did you find an answer to something you were wondering about? If you found something to like in today's post, please + and share. How do you feel when you matter?

Tuesday, March 04, 2014

Making Playtime

How do you play? What entertains you? What engages your attention?

Being active is one of the fun things about being a grownup. Now, that doesn’t mean entering kick-boxing tournaments, although thats good for some people, it means finding things to do in the world that you love doing.

This is one of those things for me, writing to you every day. I also love to create things. I’m knitting socks right now. Sometimes it’s art, sometimes it’s soup. Sometimes, it’s hours of conversation with a brilliant friend. Lately, I’ve also been on a jigsaw puzzle kick.

I like to do stuff.

Didn’t always be that way. There was a time in my life, a dark time, when what I did was hate, get high, sleep a lot. Stopped crafting, stopped cooking, stopped moving my body, stopped reading. If you know me, you know that last one was a major alarm bell. It’s the one that finally got my attention.

Being engaged with the joys life offers us is one of the ways we feel alive, lively, and happy. Finding big things, and small things, to take joy in, helps us savor our existence, and feel connected with our world.

Why do I have fun? How do I play? What makes me adventurous?

At the very least, we have imagination. Now, I’ve known a bunch of people who claim to have no imagination. These claims were false. They just needed to redefine what imagination means.

If you can worry, you have imagination, you are just aren’t using your powers for good. If you are jealous, or have envy, you have imagination. If you can plan a day, you have imagination.

Now, take that awesome superpower and turn it to good use, coming up with fun stuff that lightens your heart. Maybe you like to play games, cards, or arcade games. Maybe you like tromping around in the woods. Maybe you like to mess with clay, or paints, or chalk. Maybe you like to take classes, or try new restaurants, or watch old movies. The point is less about what you are doing and more about engaging.

When we actively and positively engage with our world, we keep things loose and light. When we actively have fun, we stay cheerier, and are spreading joy.

What makes me connect? Why do I enjoy myself? How am I entertained?

When I was learning how to have fun, I discovered that a lot of how I entertained myself made me feel awful. I was a news junkie, for one things, I watched depressing movies, I hung out in dark bars on sunny days. As I chose to lighted up my life, I started unchoosing things like that, things that made me blue, or feel grim, or hate people. These things do not move me forward. When I have feelings about slavery or animal abuse, I address them, do what I can in the moment, and go back to the light. I do no one any good by wallowing in that kind of entertainment, and I do damage to my self.

How have I changed from hanging back to engaging with my world?

Like what you see here? Please + or share. Thanks! How do you know you make a difference?