Feelin’ Groovy

Feelin’ Groovy

When I’m feeling crappy, the last thing I want is to be reminded that it’s my choice. Frankly, it’s one of the reasons I love my decks of CQ cards, because then it’s the card, and not you, who is reminding me.

How do I know I’m responsible for me? What makes me take charge of my life?

Guess who’s been feeling kinda crappy kinda a lot lately? Oh, yeah. So, I sit on my porch, feeling not-good, thinking about all the changes in my life that I’m having negative emotional judgments about, and I see in my mind’s eye, Pema Chodron, pacing in the snow and saying something like, “When you feel bad, Pam, it is a reminder that you are in a bad habit-loop. You can choose to get out of it, Our natural state is feeling good.”

Why can I choose? What makes me decide? How do I know I can?

Now who can get mad at a phantom Pema? Um, I can. And then I think about that advice, and I remember that I get to choose how I feel, I can change my feelings like my socks.

My phantom Pema isn’t telling me not to feel what I’m feeling. Rather, she is simply reminding me that when I am feeling bad, I’m resisting what is. I’m saying no to what life is offering me now, and any silver linings that may be had.

Sometimes, that’s exactly what I want to do. (Insert “raspberry” here.) (Or is it a Bronx Cheer?) (You know what I mean, that sound you make by blowing through closed lips with your tongue sticking out.)

So I feel my bad feelings, and then they move on through, and I can go back to feeling good. Except that sometimes, I get the idea that feeling good is bad. I feel guilty for being happy. As though the loved one I’m grieving, or the changes that are happening, would be mad at me for not suffering on their behalf. No, I’m serious, I do that. Until I catch myself.

Thing is, when we let life flow, our feelings and emotions flow, those feelings and emotions don’t last very long. We are a powerful, dynamic system, and thoughts are moving through at a brisk rate.

‘Nother thing is, the purpose of life is to be happy. Not stuff happy, or event happy, but all the way through, deep down, soul happy. Part of that happiness is experiencing life all the way through, just as it is right now. Sometimes right now has loss in it. And, if we are paying attention, we will notice that there is always loss, and always gain, in each moment.

This is really good news for us because it means that we can feel good about feeling sad, or scared, or pissed off, when we are feeling it clean. And it’s a wonderful motivator for cleaning up our stuff.

I know a bunch of you don’t wanna do that because you are apprehensive about wrecking relationships with your loved ones by uncovering bad or scary stuff. There are ways to resolve your ancient traumas without having to have conscious memories about them. Look ‘em up, seek ‘em out. Cleaning that stuff up makes such a difference.

I choose my quality of life, and if my life sucks, I’m the one responsible. The sooner I own it, the sooner I can fix it. And it’s okay for you to Bronx cheer me on that one.

How have I changed from blaming to knowing the choice is all mine?

(c) Pam Guthrie all rights reserved 02132014

Being As Soaring Water

Being As Soaring Water

Here is a fundamental rule of the world: I cannot change you. Here is another fundamental rule of the world: I can change me. Here is a curious thing about those rules: When I change me, you often will change, too.

Hilarious! Sneaky! Effective!

How do I choose to change? Why do I surrender? How am I like water?

Water. When it comes to change, I would much rather be like water than a bulldozer. Water can seep. Water can flow. Water goes around, or under, or even drip through. When I am as water, nothing is much of an obstacle. I flow over broken glass, I flow around boulders, I flow through mountains.

If I don’t like the way my life, or my month, or my day, or my morning, is going, I can change it. I am powerful. So are you. Humans are powerful. We have amazingly creative minds. We can make ourselves crazy with worry by imagining horrible scenarios, or we can take the time to come up with solutions. We can create mental prisons for ourselves, or we can liberate our thoughts from the restraint of habit. We can focus on the discomfort in our lives, or we can choose to soar.

Me, I like soaring.

How do I choose to change? What makes me decide to change? Why do I surrender?

I am subject to bad moods, anxious times, feeling really blue; all the normal stuff, like anyone else.. The trick for me is to notice that I’m going there before I get all settled in and cozied up to whatever emo-crap I’ve got going on. Feeling bad isn’t Truth, it’s the result of crappy thoughts running over and over in our heads.

As soon as I catch myself going there, I do what I can to identify the thoughts, so I can change them efficiently and effectively.

The fastest, easiest way I’ve found to do that is with Creative Questions.

Sometimes, I can catch the thought easily, and go from the loop, “why do I suck?”, to “how do I know I’m okay?” Sometimes, I have to find the thought, and that can take a little more effort, “Why do I feel light and peaceful?” “NO!” “Why would I feel light and peaceful?” “I can’t.” “Why could I feel light and peaceful.” “I’m a screw-up.” “How have I changed from feeling like a screw-up to feeling light and peaceful?” “Um..” “How do I feel when I feel light and peaceful?”

Believing that I suck is a delusion. My circumstances may suck. My behavior may suck, but I am not my behavior or my circumstances.

Believing that I’m not good enough, or that I’m wrong, or that I’m bad, or or or, is delusional. At my core, I am perfection. I have goozh layered on top of my perfect self, from years of delusional thinking, abuse, trauma, betrayals, and so on. As I let those things go, I let go the delusion. And then I need to keep an eye on the old habit stuff, to catch it when it comes up, and choose to change.

How have I changed from feeling trapped in my bad thoughts to feeling free?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 11212013

Opulent Support

Opulent Support

What would it mean if all creation is for you? If all creation is meant to support your happy life? What if everything is here to help you live your best life?

What would that be like? Can you imagine it now? How would it feel if every breath of air, every sip of water, every leaf, every microbe were supporting your personal well being and evolution?

When you imagine that, where do you feel that support in your body? Where do you feel it in your emotions? In your spirit? Why would you deserve to feel so supported?

When I feel that kind of lavish, unconditional support, I feel empowered. I feel powerful. I own my super powers.

When I feel that kind of support, I trust that I can cope with the flow of my life, whatever comes my way. (Notice that I didn’t say “like” but rather “cope.” Nothing in the rule book that says I have to like it, just that it’s best if I don’t fight it, if I allow it, let it flow.)

Cultivating my super powers; decision and choice, creativity, compassion, wisdom, engagement, and peace, to name a few, cultivating my sense of being supported by my environment, being a part of the natural order, all these things help me bring my essence to fruition, help me cultivate my particular set of skills and talents, help me feel included, engaged, connected, and supported, help me love and be loved unconditionally.

I like those feelings.

I endeavor to remember, when something happens that I’m not crazy about, to look for the gift.

I endeavor to remember, when someone is giving me a hard time about something, to slow down on the inside, to feel compassion, and to remember that I like to behave in a grown up manner, so I don’t have to be apologizing for acting like a jerk all the time.

I endeavor to remember that when I am feeling scared, or anxious, or worried, or pissed off, that I am in a habit loop and can change my response quickly and easily. That having those feelings is like a warning light on my dashboard that I am responding in a funky way, and resisting the flow.

I endeavor to remember that my desire to evolve as a person isn’t everyone’s choice. It doesn’t have a qualitative stamp on it, and is only as useful as I make it. (I had a really intense spiritual experience the other day, super cosmic, and came away from it with the understanding that 1) I had witnessed a Truth, and 2) beyond being really fun and interesting, it doesn’t make any difference. Hilarious! )

I endeavor to remember that my body is telling me stuff all the time about how I am. My physical well being is tied in to my mental well being, my emotional well being, and my spiritual well being. When I remember that, “If you are travelling with a child or someone who requires assistance, secure your oxygen mask first, and then assist the other person.” That is, I make sure I am paying attention to what I need as well as to what I can do to help you.

When I remember that all creation is for me, I can relax.

How have I changed from fearing outside influences to trusting they are for my benefit?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 10282013