Simple

Simple

Bottom line is that it’s simple. It’s so simple that most of the time we can’t see how simple it is. We kind of like complicated, it makes us feel important. But simple sets us free.

Are you wondering what on earth I’m talking about? Living our lives. Living our lives in simplicity and freedom.

How do we do that?

How do I choose? How am I happy? How have I changed from living in chaos to choosing simplicity?

Simplicity is, to a large part, all attitude. I make things complicated by intellectualizing them, thinking things to death, questioning, and not in a good way, everything. I make things complicated with negative fantasies about the future. I make things complicated by ruminating on my perceived guilt and shame. I make things complicated by second guessing you, deciding what you mean rather than asking you straight out. I make things complicated by being vague in my communications, by not knowing what I want, by not being present.

Yikes!

When I choose to relax, I am choosing simple. When I choose not to intellectualize, I am choosing simple. When I choose not to fret, when I choose not to make stuff up about you, when I choose to be clear and present, I am choosing simple.

Simple is often a scary concept for us. We feel like we would be losing something if our lives didn’t feel complicated, like we would be bored, or not matter, like we would turn into a hippy-type person, or a slacker, or not care. How could we live productive, valuable lives if things are simple? Life is hard and complicated.

It’s all wrong.

When I choose simple,  my time is softer. My mood is softer, too. Simple makes for lighter, more uplifted spirits. It’s way easier for me to get stuff done when I am cheerful than when I am morose. When I choose simple and aware, I can find joy all over the place. That makes even little things a delight. I can relish small tasks, I don’t need to make stuff complicated to feel important because feeling connected, engaged, and present is so much better.

Now, you need to understand that in the olden days, if there was a way to make it hard, that’s what I did. With everything. When I wasn’t feeling ashamed or guilty, I was fretting about me, about you, about the starving people of the world, about the dwindling rainforests and crime in the streets. If it wasn’t hard, it wasn’t worth doing. Oy.

I catch myself doing that from time to time. I will set myself a task, and then make it hard by including a world of distractions. I will make it hard by worrying about how it will turn out, how to do it perfectly. I can often stop myself from doing stuff by perfectionism.

Choosing simple makes it easy, and I do like easy. And it makes life fun. I love fun! And simple means I can find easy and fun pretty much anywhere.

How have I changed from believing in complicated to choosing simple?

© Pam Guthrie 2014 all rights reserved 10092014

The Crabby and Grouchy Show

The Crabby and Grouchy Show

I woke up on the crabby side of the bed today. No reason. Maybe a dream just before I woke up. Crabby.

It hardly ever happens anymore, waking up crabby. Months can go by.

This morning two cards hopped out from the deck, the gratitude card and the genuine card. What a nice way to think about being crabby.

Because I am responsible for my feelings, I don’t pretend I’m not crabby when I am. But I also use two of the funniest sounding words in English to describe it, crabby and grouchy. And I say them to emphasize the silliness of them. I remember that, because I am a resourceful grown up, I can change my feelings as easily as changing my socks.

(And now I am thinking about making sock puppets and calling them Crabby and Grouchy and doing a show. Those words do make it more difficult for me to stay crabby and grouchy.)

I am grateful to all the teachers I’ve had who’ve helped me learn how to change my feelings.

I am grateful to all the teachers I’ve had who’ve shown me the value of my emotions and feelings.

I am grateful to all the teachers I’ve had who give me their respect as I worked my way through.

When we allow ourselves to be ourselves, stuff gets way easier. We stop spending time trying to second guess the other person, and we say what we mean. We go inside for approval that counts highly, and enjoy approval from outside. We are able to ask clearly for help, and accept it graciously when offered.

Easy. Simple. Enjoyable. Why is it all so easy? Why is it all truly simple? Why do I enjoy?

If I’m not worrying about the future, I don’t need to try to control the present. If I’m not worrying about you, I don’t need to try to control you. If I’m not guilty about the past I don’t need to put a spin on it. What a relief.

If I experience my emotions, they flow through me like water. When I stop intellectualizing, my thoughts flow, too. I can play with my creative mind more, more enjoyment, more light, more freedom.

When I am myself, I can relax. I don’t need to prove anything to anyone, I can do the things I need to, and want to, I can decide about the “shoulds.” I mind my business, and take care of my well-being, but I make peace, safe space for you to take care of yours. I treat me and you respectfully, and I can play.

When I am myself, I can sleep peacefully. I can stand on my own two feet, I have good people to back me up. I don’t have to stick my neck out, I can keep my chin up.

And when I wake up crabby, I know that, for a couple hours, I will enjoy the heck out of it.

How have I changed from trying to be someone special, to knowing I already am?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 10012013