Shining On

Shining On

All sorts of wonderful things happen for us when we commit to become grownups, to evolve into our best selves, to enlighten our lives. We find more “luck,” and love, we find more opportunities for joy and bliss seems to follow us around like a happy, housebroken puppy.

We also find our wisdom, our deep understanding of how the world works, how we work. The more we come to know ourselves, the more we know about relationships, about finding solutions, about relaxing into peace, comforting both ourselves and each other. We find that we are more interested in each other, how we feel, what we think.

Curiously, we find that, the more we come to know ourselves, the more we seem to find that the details of our particular story are less important than they used to be. We are less interested in labeling ourselves as damaged, or broken, and so on, and more interesting in resolutions, and resolvings, appreciations, and gratitude.

We find that worry or fear are no longer as interesting a pastime. We find that we would rather look for the gold than the rot, to anticipate good stuff, to relish the silver linings.

We find that we have more compassion, not only for each other, but for ourselves. We find things to respect about each other, qualities we value, moments we treasure. We stop assuming the worst, and give each other the benefit of the doubt, and are amply rewarded most of the time.

Forgiveness comes more easily, too, not only for our people, our past hurts, but for our own stuff. We make amends where we can, and then let it go.

We listen better. We love more easily. We notice and let go of our negative moral and emotional judgments more quickly.

Wow, Why are we so astounding? What makes us such good people? How do we open so much.

There is a promise from 12 steps that I adore. We will intuitively know how to handle situations that formerly baffled us. O, I think I wanted that more than anything. And may I just say this: It rocks. I wonder if, when we let go of all that fretting about stuff, we have more room in our brains to find solutions out of our consciousness, we don’t even have to think about it, they are just there. However it happens, I like it.

What makes me wise? How do I value my smarts? How do I know I am bright?

We also find that we start to take our wisdom for granted. We assume it will be available to us when we need it. We count on it, and we find that we can count on our people most of the time. We find that we have more and more people who want what we have stepping in with us, supporting us, and the people who don’t, the ones who choose to stay stuck, or to continue suffering, to stay miserable, well, they sort of drift away. Sometimes, we are blessed with the miracle of those sad folks changing their minds, and coming to join us, and that is a day for celebration.

In fact, as I claim my wisdom, my insight, my smarts, I see something worth celebrating everyday, and make room for that little celebration. It may simply be a blessing at a meal, a moment to consider all the lovely things that have happened, and it might be a full-on party.

How have I changed from feeling thick-headed and dim to owning my brilliance?

(c) Pam Guthrie all rights reserved 02182014

How You Matter

How You Matter

Isn’t it amazing how complicated and weird we make stuff? I drew the “why am I important?” card this morning. Each of us is. We can tell that simply because we are here. But we get some people telling us from the time we are tiny that we suck, in all sorts of different ways,

We start to believe that we aren’t important, that we don’t matter.

Some of us buy into that idea. We decide to prove that we don’t matter. We give up trying. We decide we are useless, just like they said. We feel like we can’t handle the responsibilities of being a grownup, and we revert to childish behaviors, things that often are damaging to us and our loved ones. And we feel worse and worse about ourselves. We excel at underachieving. Our true potential seems like a horrible lie.

Some of us choose to prove that we are important. We seek approval everywhere, we seek prestige roles, we seek awards. We insist that others treat us differently. We often treat others as though they are less than us. And we often feel hollow inside, all the honors, all the prestige do nothing to make us feel the feelings of being important that we crave.

Both paths are lies, based on mislearning.

The truth is that we are important. Not because we’ve done anything, just because we are. The more we relax, the more we drop our mislearnings, the more we choose our natural, easy, flowing life, the more we come to accept our natural importance.

Accepting our natural importance does cool things. We recognize our importance at our core self. When we know, softly and truly, that we are important, we find that we even carry ourselves differently. We find more opportunities to share our gifts. We easily recognize each other’s importance, and treat each other  with parity and respect.

The next thing you know, we are feeling more connection. We find ourselves enjoying working together, finding common goals, enjoying team efforts, and team rewards. We feel less need to be singled out with accolades because we value and appreciate ourselves.

We enjoy more celebrations, because they mark our successes, and complete them, and just because they are fun.

We find ourselves setting bigger goals for ourselves, and our communities, because we know we can accomplish so much together..

We find ourselves feeling more compassion for others because we see their challenges, we see their importance. We remember how that pain felt.

We find ourselves feeling more gratitude for the many blessings that come to us from so many sources.

We find ourselves feeling more appreciation for the wonders and luxuries that surround us, for the kind and brilliant and loving people who surround us, for the enjoyable activities we get to do, for bodies to live in.

By owning our natural importance, we own our own special place in the world, and our own special gifts to bring to it.  We see that we make a difference, just by being our own natural selves.

How have I changed from believing old lies to owning my own natural importance?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 09152013