Finding the Win

Finding the Win

One of my most precious beliefs has a few pieces to it. II believe that one of the reasons I am here is to be the best me I can be.  I believe that the Universe is benevolent. I believe that the Universe gives me what I need to be the best me right now, and to become the best me I can get to. I believe that everything that happens in my life brings me a gift, sometimes many gifts, and part of my task is to find those gifts.

What do you think about that?

This may be one of the most profound paradigm shifts I’ve experienced, that of looking for the gift in everything. Especially since my whole way of being was playing victim/martyr.

Why can I choose? Why would I choose positive? Why do things go my way?

Ok, that last question can be a doozy. Especially when it seems like things are bad. That’s the time to bring out your favorite Creative Questions.

How do I benefit? How does this situation bless me? What makes me see the good?

When I look for the ick I will always find it. People are selfish, or hateful, or cruel. Life makes us suffer, things are bad.

The same way, when I look for the blessing, the good luck, the gift, I also will always find it.

Well, finding stuff to feel grateful and appreciative about changes how I see the world. No matter what is going on, I can find something to feel thankful for. I have a mind of infinite possibilities. I have a good imagination. I am creative, and brilliant, and I can use these super powers to create my reality.

Remembering that you can’t disappoint me, only my expectations of you disappoint me, is a profound thing. Remembering that you are doing your best, that you are a divine and infinite being who also wants to live a nice life, lets me feel compassion for you. Once I feel compassion, I can relax about you, and I can relax about me, because I know those things are true about me, as well.

How am I healthy? What makes me feel well? Why am I strong? How am I soft? Why would I choose to go with the flow?

When I choose to flow with what is, I stop resisting it, and I stop clenching. I can choose easy, I can choose relaxed, I can choose to live my natural life. When I stop fighting, I can choose to see the benefit, I can see the limitless support available, and I can feel how all of my world is there for me. I feel like it matters that I am here, I feel my place in the world.

Winning and losing are, more than anything else, attitudes. I can look at my current situation, and think, “As someone who is dedicated to creating a healing space, I am a failure.” Or I can look at my current situation and think, “I have a shining opportunity to learn about me, about wellness, about healing, and about finding the joy in anything. I will be better and stronger, wiser, and create better, more wholesome spaces, because I choose to flow with this.”

How have I changed from fighting the loss to relaxing for the win?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2014 all rights reserved 06172014

Flowing It

Flowing It

“Resistance is Futile” or at the very least, a strange occupation. We can burn a lot of energy; psychic, emotional, and physical, in the act of resisting, and not gain a thing.

Resistance comes about when we say “no” to what is.

“What is” comes about through our thoughts. The attitudes we bring, our beliefs, our focuses, color the world we see. When I am focused on my foot, I will not be paying much attention to the lovely smell in the air. When I believe life is hard, I will miss all the little blessings that float in and through my days. When I focus on “no,” I miss a lot of opportunities to say “yes.”

When I believe that things happen to me, rather than for me, I am pretending that I am not responsible for my life, my well being, my happiness.

Why can I choose? What makes me enjoy? How am I aware?

Many of us mislearn that things happen to us. We can’t imagine that there is a gift in the occurrence. That feeling, of stuff happening to us, can make us feel out of control, and scared. So we respond to that by trying to control our outside circumstances, our loved ones, and communities. It takes a huge amount of effort, and doesn’t really get us very far.

When I choose to believe that things happen for me, that there is always a gift, sometimes a very profound gift, I open to my life. I recognize that I have enormous control over the quality of my experience, all through my mind, my thoughts, my ideas.

This means that as my life unfolds, I am interested in what is happening. I am curious about the lessons to be learned, I am excited by the hunt for the gift. I say, “Oh, this is how life is now,” and get on with things. Resistance is absurd.

What makes me decide? Why am I positive? How do things go my way?

I choose to believe that it can all be just so easy.

That doesn’t mean I never have discomfort, that means I flow with my discomfort, I don’t put emotional weight on it, whatever kind of discomfort it might be. I choose to soften, I choose to relax, I choose to trust. I remember to breathe, I remember to choose awareness, I act mindfully.

I may put my focus deep into the discomfort, but it is lightly, without negative emotional judgment. I may choose to pay attention to anything but my discomfort, not pretending it away, just not feeding it with my focus.

Why could it all be just so easy?

When I take responsibility for my life, I get to choose. I get to decide if I will suffer or enjoy. I get to decide if I will open my heart, or harbor resentments. I get to decide if I will make things easy or make things hard.

How have I changed from fighting it to flowing it?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2014 all rights reserved 06132014

Declenchifying

Declenchifying

We are so good at so many things. Each of us has our own set of skills, talents, gifts, and blessings. Is relaxation on your list? Is that one of your skills?

There is so much more to relaxing than flopping down on the couch to watch TV.

When we relax our bodies, we let our muscles soften. Sometimes we may find that relaxing our muscles lets our joints self-adjust. Relaxing our bodies allows all of our body-systems to flow freely.

Why do I relax?

When we relax our minds, our thoughts flow past our awareness, like floating down a river. We aren’t thinking, but observing thought. And when we catch ourselves thinking a thought, we bring ourselves back to the river. This is meditation, like a reset for our minds.

Why am I centered?

When we relax our spirit, we stop striving for holiness, or enlightenment, or whatever our preferred spiritual pinnacle, and are able to be fully present. We experience bliss and joy. We see the beauty of the world. We feel compassion, generosity, peace. Gratitude and appreciation flow.

Why am I serene?

When we let our emotions relax, anger relaxes, fear relaxes. Anger takes resentments with it. We may find that we are more tolerant, kinder. Fear takes worry with it. And as we continue to relax, we find that we feel vulnerable, but we also find that we trust we will be okay. We are safe to acknowledge our feelings, we recognize the feelings we have that can make trouble for us, own them, let them go. We recognize the feelings that support us, own them, and nurture them.

Why am I calm?

I used to have the idea that if I was going to nurture my passions, I would have to sacrifice peace. I was used to seeing people I thought were passionate all churned up, temperamental, moody and self-absorbed. That part of following one’s passion was very unappealing to me. Turned out it wasn’t about following their passion, but about their not having chosen to grow up yet.

Why do I choose to choose?

When we decide to let life flow, everything relaxes. When change happens, which it always does, we can reacquire our equilibrium more readily when we choose to let life flow. When we choose to say “yes” to life, to relinquish our imagined control, our grip on the status quo, everything gets easier. I don’t know about you, but I sure like easier. This allows me another crazy freedom, namely, I get to be more fully me, expand my personality, so to speak. I am more flexible, so my world can expand, too. I have more options, I have more resources, and because I am relaxed, I have a lot more energy. I sure like that, too.

How have I changed from being good at clenched to being good at relaxed?

(c) Pam Guthrie all rights reserved 02222014

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What Awareness Did For Me

What Awareness Did For Me

By Pam Guthrie

Do you remember theme papers? Do kids write themes anymore? Well, that feeling, of writing a theme, hit me this morning when I pulled the Awareness card, and I suddenly had a little flash of being in fourth grade.

For someone who loves learning as much as I do, I really hated school. I don’t recall doing much daydreaming, but I do recall becoming hyper-aware of my surroundings, looking for all the little oddities I could see; curled corners, chipped paint, cracks in the walls, ink stains on the wooden floor from past generations of children.

I remember watching the other kids, wondering what life was like for them. There was the sullen boy who sat behind me, whose boots stunk of cow manure. When I complained to the teacher, she said that he had to milk the cows before he came to school, and put them to pasture. All I had to do was get up. That smell meant something very different after that. He was still sullen, and I don’t think he ever spoke to me, still, I felt respect for him. But I digress.

Being observant is part of being aware, but it isn’t awareness.

When I am aware, I know what emotions I’m feeling and what feelings I’m having. I notice my behavior, I’m cognizant of my thoughts. I see you, read your body language, the pitch and timbre of your voice, although that may be unconscious on my part.

When I am aware, I am in my environment, I have a sense of what is going on around me.

Being aware isn’t about being hyper anything.

I can be truly aware only when I am relaxed and peaceful in my core. Often, my mind is quiet, I’m not thinking about being aware, I’m not thinking about what I am seeing, hearing, smelling, or any other sensations, I am in it. It’s like letting experience wash over me, as my thoughts flow through my mind.

When I relax as I pay attention to you, I see so much more of who you are. I see your micro-expressions, your true emotions, without all the feelings on ‘em. I clue into your body language. I hear meaning in the tone and timbre, the pitch and inflection of your voice, not just the words you say. When I relax I absorb more of how you process the world. It makes you so much more vivid to me, more real. More dear to me.

When I am relaxed and present, I can savor my life. I may be moving fast on the outside, but I’m slooow on the inside, so I can take it all in. I can see the little secret beauties that fill my environment, I taste my food and drink, I enjoy feeling my body as I dash down the street.

And, when I am relaxed and present, I’m not reacting all over the place. I can respond to my life as events unfold. I have time to remember to set aside my negative emotional judgments, and view events as neutral. Neutral events don’t require anywhere near as much energy as CRISES do, so I am simply tired at the end of the day. So I can sleep easily and wake up refreshed.

Why is it all so easy?

How have I changed from feeling all cranked up inside to relaxing into easy, peaceful awareness?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 10222013