Faith and Hope

Faith and Hope

This is another one of those rather controversial topics. That means it’s important, so let’s see what happens when we poke around in the topic of trust.

Why do I trust? How do I know the universe provides? Why am I peaceful?

A lot of us think that faith and hope are the same thing. They really aren’t.

Hope and wishing are pretty close, way closer than hope and faith. With wishing and hoping, we have to be thinking about the situation we want to leave to wish or hope that it will be better.

We say things to ourselves like, “I wish I had more money (than the little money I have now,) I hope I get more money.” “I hope I get better (than the sick that I am, or the addiction, or behavior I want to change) or I hope I get better.” The underlying thoughts are that I am poor or sick or that I am in a bad relationship, for example.

We say things to ourselves like, “I hope I get that job.” But both hoping and wishing kind of stop at the wish. They don’t tend to motivate us; they tend to stop us, like worry, in that hoping so hard, or wishing so hard, or fretting so much feels like we are doing something.

We aren’t.

When I trust, when I have faith, I am believing in something, and believing in me. Trust and faith create an environment where we are supporting our desire with action. The actions may be subtle, we might not notice that we are choosing toward what we trust will happen, but we are.

When we think about that trust as a Creative Question, we are setting our unconscious mind on the task of bringing our goal about. Why do I trust that money comes easily to me? Why do I trust in my own health?

Notice how different you feel between “I hope things work out.” and “I trust things will work out.” and “Why do things go my way?”

These are subtle differences, but the Creative Question is working deep inside, it doesn’t even need an answer to come to the surface to change the underlying beliefs.

Faith and trust lead us to making choices that can move mountains. I can sit around hoping for that new job, or I can trust that I will get it, and that makes me act. Action will bring about more of what we want than wishing, or hoping.

It’s asparagus. We can hope for asparagus when we plant it, and then be sad when we don’t have edible asparagus. We can wish we had asparagus, and then feel kind of despondent when we don’t get it. Or we can have faith that our asparagus patch will produce delicious asparagus, and when it doesn’t the first year, with faith, we may find ourselves talking to friends with asparagus who let us know it takes a few seasons to start producing. So we trust that tending our patch with loving care will make wonderful asparagus in it’s own time.

How have I changed from hoping to having faith?

(c)Pam Guthrie 2014 all rights reserved 09282014

The Danger of Expectations

The Danger of Expectations

Expectations. Wow. What a great big pile of mess we can make for ourselves with expectations.

Sometimes we call our expectations hope, and look to the future with bright, shiny faces.

Sometimes we call our expectations dread, and look to the future with pale, drawn faces.

We are so darn creative!

As a dear friend says, “You can’t disappoint me, only my expectations of you can disappoint me.” Perhaps that is a subtle distinction. On the other hand, perhaps it is glaring. I tend to go with glaring on this one.

It ties in with the old saw about nobody can make you feel anything. I used to think it was a load of horse hockey, and then I set aside my jerking-knee reaction, and really looked at it.

I know you can see where I’m headed with this. Why do I choose?

I can’t change you. I can change my expectations of you. When I change my expectations of you, our relationship shifts.

That’s where the magic happens.

When I change my expectations, when I change my behavior, we are in a different relationship. Sometimes, you decide you can’t handle it, and you leave. More often than not, you will shift with me, and we have a new relationship, often one we both like so much more.

Imagine this:  We fight the same three arguments over and over. I see that it is a habit with us, and so, when we start playing Fight No. 2, I don’t. Perhaps I say something like, “This is a bad habit with us, and I love you too much to want to put this bad energy between us.” There are a thousand ways to diffuse.

You can’t make me feel anything, unless we collude. I’m not talking about sensations. You can “make me” feel sensations.

If I am feeling abused by you, I am, on some level choosing that. I know we don’t like to hear it, but there you go. I choose it because it is familiar. I choose it because it meshes with my childhood experiences.

I can unchoose feeling abused. Now, I’m not talking about physical abuse or physical neglect. If these things are happening to you, go get help right this minute.

Feeling abused is a habit, one that many of us learn when we are very young. It’s not truth, it is collusion between us to prove that I’m less than even though I’m not.

I can unchoose feeling abused. When I choose to support myself, when I choose to feel good enough, when I choose self-esteem, your words won’t hurt me because your hurtful words don’t have a way in.

How have I changed from feeling abused to feeling good about me?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 11062013